Hair Wash Jokes
47 hair wash jokes and hilarious hair wash puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hair wash that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hair Wash Short Jokes
Short hair wash jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hair wash humour may include short hair shampoo jokes also.
- When I was growing up my Mum always use to wash my hair in lager It wasn't until many years later that I realized I had been fostered......
- I went to the barbers and asked for a number 2 all over. I've washed my hair 6 times since and still can't get the smell out.
- Why do blondes always wash there hair? They just read the instructions. Lather... Rinse... Repeat...
- I'm in my 20's and today I used baby shampoo to wash my hair... ...and I've never felt so immature.
- I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having s**...... I'm tired. I'm washing my hair. I've got a headache. I am your sister-in-law.
- Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with e**...? It was actually sham-p**....
*thunderous applause* - I washed my hair with p**... tonight. I've been using shampoo for years, just think how good it will look with the real thing.
- A mother catches her son m**... in the shower She asks him how often he does this. He replies: Every time I wash my hair, It's just a little classical conditioning.
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Hair Wash One Liners
Which hair wash one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hair wash? I can suggest the ones about hair conditioner and hair product.
- Stop washing your hair with shampoo! Insist on REAL poo!
- What does John Cena wash his hair with? Champ who?
- I wash my hair with fake turds Some call it shampoo
- What does Batman use to wash his hair? Conditioner Gordon.
- What does the air use to wash its hair? An air conditioner
- Why metalheads don't wash their hair? They are afraid that it will rust.
- What does Richard Gere wash his hair with? Gerbil Essences
- Why does Paul Ryan only wash his hair? Trickle down washanomics.
- I'm really glad they invented shampoo. imagine having to wash your hair with real p**...?
- I used p**... to wash my hair. What a sham! p**... doesn't work at all!
- Why should you wash your hair with counterfeit f**...? Because it's sham p**....
Hair Wash Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about hair wash you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hair salon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hair wash pranks.
Two nuns are doing their grocery shopping.
As they pass the cooler full of beer, one nun says longingly to the other one, "A cold beer would go down great tonight!" "Indeed," the other nun replies, "but how can we show up with beer at the check-out counter?" "Don't worry, I have a plan," the other nun answers. "Grab a six-pack." The cashier is surprised when he sees the beer, but the one nun is ready with an explanation. "We use the beer to wash our hair" she says. "At the convent, we call it 'Catholic shampoo.'" Without hesitation the cashier bends down, grabs a package of pretzels, and throws it in one of the nuns' groceries bags, saying "The curlers are on the house."
A young man goes into the Job Centre in Sydney, and sees an ad for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he goes to learn more.
"Can you give me some more details on this job?" he asks the clerk.
The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the women ready for the gynaecological consult. You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down, and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the examination. There's an annual salary of $75,000, but you're going to have to go to Perth - other side of the country."
The man says "Oh is that where the job is?"
The clerk says "No sir. That's where the end of the line is right now."
Job opportunity
A young man goes into the Job Center in Jacksonville, Florida, and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he goes to learn more – Can you give me some more details? he asks the clerk.
The clerk pulls up the file and says, The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist.
You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions,
then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination.
There's an annual salary of $75,000, but you're going to have to go to Oxford, Mississippi. That's about 620 miles from here.
Oh, okay… is that where the job is?
No sir – that's where the end of the line is right now.
THE MAN of the Italian house
Anthony had just finished reading a new book entitled, _You Can Be THE MAN of Your House._
Inspired, he stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN of this house and my word is Law. You'll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you'll serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, we're going upstairs and we'll have the kind of s**... that I want. Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You'll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you'll massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied, "The f**...' f**... director would be my first guess"
A little boy saw his mother n**.....
and asked her, "What is that between your legs?"
The woman, having not s**... her p**... hair in a while, says, "It's my wash cloth, darling." The woman shaves her p**... hair that night.
A few days later, the boy sees his mother n**... again. "Mom, where did your wash cloth go?"
"I lost it, darling," his mother replies.
A few days after that, the mom comes home to the excited little boy. "Mommy, mommy, I found your wash cloth!!"
"Where, darling?" She asked, confused.
"The lady next door was washing dad's face with it!"
Coming out of retirement
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read --
"The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination."
"The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana."
"Good grief; is that where the job is?"
"No sir; that's where the end of the line is right now."
A young man goes into the Job Center in Downtown Los Angeles, and sees an advertisement for a Gynecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he goes to learn more. 'Can you give me some more details?' he asks the clerk.
The clerk pulls up the file and says, 'The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination.
There's an annual salary of $85,000, but you're going to have to go to Albuquerque New Mexico. That's about 620 miles from here.'
'Good grief, is that where the job is?'
'No sir... that's where the end of the line is right now...
The curious case of the lost washcloth
There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day the little boy walked in and saw his mother n**..., he asked his mother what was the hair in between her legs?
She responded, "It's my washcloth".
Weeks later after the mother had the baby, the young boy walked
in on his mother again, but while she was in the hospital the
doctor s**... her p**... hair, and the boy asked his mother:
"What happened to your washcloth?"
The mother responded, "I lost it".
The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his
mother's washcloth. A few days later the little boy went running
to his mother yelling and screaming,
"I found your washcloth!"
The mother thinking that the child was just playing went along
with the boy and asked,
"Where did you find it?"
The boy answered, "The maid has it and she's washing daddy's face with it."
The boy is at his girlfriend's house making out with her on the couch...
... when they hear her parents coming back home.
They quickly sit up straight, fix their hair and pretend to be watching TV.
The mom says "I brought some food, are you guys hungry?"
They go to the table and the boy says "mmmm this fish cake is delicious!"
The mom says "go wash your hands boy, this is potato cake"
I finally figured out where all my weight is coming from!
My shampoo, which runs down my body as I rinse my hair, advertises greater volume and body. Think I'll start washing my hair with dish washing soap; it says it dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.
Do not shampoo in the shower
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
Recently found out my wife is sleeping with our best friend when I'm out of town.
Every other month I get home from a trip, the sheets are miraculously just cleaned every single time. Hardly coincidental.
She thinks I don't notice the dog hair on the comforter, she never thought to wash that.
Hair dyes do not last more than a week
Paltu voted and asked the polling officer-
Paltu: Sir, will these fingerprints be washed off with water?
Officer: No.
Paltu: Then sir! Can it be washed with soap?
Officer: No.
Paltu: Then how long will it take, sir?
Officer: Will go after one year.
Paltu: Then give me a little more sir?
Officer: Why?
Paltu: I'll put it in my hair, sir. Nowadays hair dyes do not last more than a week.
Two Nuns
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer,
wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one,
but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem.
She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look, so the nun said,
'This is for washing our hair.'
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under
the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.
'The curlers are on me.'
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. There is a small menu on the bar, so he picks it up and reads:
"Cheese sandwich: $2.50
h**...: $5"
A gorgeous woman is the bartender, and she comes over to get the guys order. He asks her "are you the one who gives the h**...?" The leggy blonde flips back her curly hair and silkily says with a wink and seductive smile "why yes, I am."
"Well wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich."
In honor of a bath time song sung by a fellow dad...
Here is mine:
Wash your body!
Oh yeah.
Clean your body!
Uh huh
Wash your body!
It's bath time tonight!
Let's get clean, alright!
Clean your fingers and your toes...
Wash your face, don't forget your nose
If it's Monday night we wash your hair.
But everytime wash behind your ears!
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section.
One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier was surprised, so the nun said, This is for washing our hair.
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer. The curlers are on me. -