Following is our collection of funny Hair jokes. There are some hair hairdresser jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hair black hair puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said- "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair" the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-"my monkey has grown hair"
Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas" .
Eclipse it.
He kept getting in everyone's hair.
A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)
But then again, not everyone cuts their own hair.
Frantic, she asks her mom what's going on.
Her mother replies, "Don't worry sweetie, the part where the hair grows is called the Monkey. Be proud that your Monkey is growing hair."
The girl sighs in relief, and later at the dinner table she smiled and told her older sister Beth, "I've got hair growing on my Monkey."
The sister laughs and replies back, "That's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve rope here"
Rope walks outside, frizzes up his hair, and ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar.
Bartender says "Hey, aren't you the same piece of rope that I just kicked out of here?"
Rope says "No, I'm a frayed knot"
...and says, "I want you to cut my hair longer on the left side and shorter on the right side. Make it uneven along the back, jagged in the front, and take out a big chunk right near the top."
The barber says, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't do that."
The man replies, "Why not? It's what you did last time."
I said, "Why are you so upset? It's just hair. I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend."
Classic conditioning.
So I took a photo of her hair!
You can explore hair curls reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hair hairpiece dad jokes. There are also hair puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
So I showed her a picture of her hair.
A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".
...and asked his father, who was a minister, if he could use his car.
The father said, "If you bring your grades up, study the Bible, and get a haircut, then you can use the car."
One month later, the teenager asked his father about using the car again. The father said, "Son, I'm proud of you. You have brought your grades up and studied the Bible every day. But you still haven't gotten a haircut!"
His son said, "Dad, in my studying of the Bible, I found that many great people had long hair. Samson had long hair. Moses, Noah, and John the Baptist had long hair. Even Jesus had long hair."
His father said, "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!"
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
Artificial intelligence
*
However, i didn't freak out about it like the other people in the elevator.
My friend was having some issues with his hearing, so he booked a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked him over and had a look in his ears. The doctor said "okay. So, describe the symptoms". My friend said "well, there's homer. He's the dad. And there's Marge, she's got big blue hair..."
Chemo patients are so sensitive.
He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"
Absolutely no pubic hair.
What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous??
It fro's up.
He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.
Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
and tries to order a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve pieces of string here"
The string goes back outside, ties himself up, and messes up his hair.
The string goes back into the bar and orders again.
The bartender asks, "Aren't you that piece of string?"
"No," says the string, "I'm a frayed knot"
I asked how he could tell which one is which.
He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.
And Brian has a cock.'
So they can run their hands through their hair.
But instead of letting his hair down he lets everybody down.
the Dad says, "first you gotta cut that hair."
Boy says, "but Dad, Jesus had long hair"
and Dad says
"that's right son, and Jesus walked everywhere"
(credit goes to the band The Silver Jews)
Because heroes never dye.
What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common?
They both want to get there before the hair
Apparently that's not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
I dreadlocks.
She gets worried and asks her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly says, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she tells her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiles and says, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
So he could run his fingers through his hair!
I've been a customer of his for 15 years and I didn't even know he cut hair.
Now, I understand why my pubes are growing like crazy recently.
It's a nice way to tell her i love her.
And also that we're outta napkins.
She said, "If you lost a few kgs, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
She says, "I'm just not doing very well in your class. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to raise my grade?"
The professor looks her up and down and asks, "What are you willing to do to raise your grade?"
"I'd do *anything*," she answers coyly, playing with her hair.
"Anything?"
"*Anything*!" she repeats with a knowing grin.
"Would you....study?"
I just didn't expect it to be in my Big Mac
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.
Seated at the bar is a classy looking lady in her mid-70s.
The sharp old gentleman walks over and sits alongside her. He orders a drink and takes a sip.
He slowly turns to the lady and says: "So, tell me; do I come here often?"
Conditioner
He asked me to describe the symptoms.
I said homer is a fat bloke and marge has blue hair
The bar tender says sorry we don't serve you kind round here
The string leaves, twists himself up, parts his hair and walks back into the bar,
The bartender says sorry aren't you the same guy from before
The string replies I'm a frayed knot
Darth Braider
(I know, I know. She's a kid though. Lol)
Eclipse it.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.
It was the Best Barber Queue ever!
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the hell out me.
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress and Prada purse.
"I've been stung by a nasty insect of some kind," she tells the doctor, "...but I'm ashamed to tell you where."
"It's okay," says the doctor. "Our communication is privileged; I won't tell anyone."
"Okay," says the woman. "It was at Walmart."
A man goes into the doctors and says "doctor doctor I think I'm going deaf" and the doctor says "can you describe the symptoms" and he says "yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair"
A woman visits the doctor
Doctor: Madame, you are obese.
Woman: What?? I demand a second opinion!
Doctor: Your hair looks stupid.
Voice: *Nice tie.*
The man looked around. Nobody was there except him and the bartender.
Voice: *Really cool shirt, too.*
The man was concerned. He thought he must be losing his mind.
Voice: *I like your hair like that!*
Finally concerned, the man said to the bartender, "I keep hearing this voice."
The bartender replied, Those are the peanuts, sir. They're complimentary.
But not everyone cuts their own hair either.
"I really need to shave my ass"
Well, besides cancer.
Then she said "There's something I want to get out of the way right now," and she reached up and took a wig off her head, and it turned out she was as bald as a new-laid egg.
"Alopecia," she said. "It's a condition that causes hair to fall out."
"Oh," I said. "...Just on your head, or from anywhere else as well?"
"Well," she dimpled, "there's only one way to find out."
"Of course!" I said, and took out my phone. "Hey, Google..."
... olive skin, green eyes, snakes for hair.
But I had to break it off with her because she was constantly objectifying me.
Later I saw him at church giving a speech about how everyone needs a Middle Eastern guy with long hair and a beard in their lives.
But then it grew on me
But after a few weeks it's growing on me!
I would be more upset, but I think it's growing on me.
Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the train, it seems pretty painful.
But it's starting to grow on me
Just happened.
Wife, looking at IMDB: On, hey, that actress was born in Abu Dhabi.
Me: Yeah, I knew that. I could tell by her hair cut.
Wife: Her hair cut?
Me: Yeah. She has an Abu Dhabi do.
Wife: [3 seconds of silence] That was NOT funny.
I don't know, but they had a real falling out
Here is mine:
Wash your body!
Oh yeah.
Clean your body!
Uh huh
Wash your body!
It's bath time tonight!
Let's get clean, alright!
Clean your fingers and your toes...
Wash your face, don't forget your nose
If it's Monday night we wash your hair.
But everytime wash behind your ears!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hair bad hair day jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working hair big hair piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.