Hails Jokes
27 hails jokes and hilarious hails puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hails that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hails Short Jokes
Short hails jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hails humour may include short hailed jokes also.
- The devil asked his resident weatherman what the forecast was for the week ahead... "Hail, Satan"
- So when I donate a kidney I'm hailed as a hero, but when I donate 20 kidneys I get arrested? Make up your mind hospitals!
- I dont get it If someone donates 1 kindey, they're hailed a hero, but I donate 5 and get arrested!?
- I've spent the day in a German police station. Word to the wise… Don't go hailing a taxi in Germany like you do in other countries.
- I asked a priest why I couldn't just say a bunch of hail Marys before committing a sin Apparently the church isn't a fan of anything Pre-Marytal
- When the Romans landed in Britain... When the Romans landed in Britain,
The weather proved a teaser!
The emperor asked "Could this be rain?",
But the answer was "Hail, Caesar" - To silence her critics who hail her as Satan, Hillary is set to launch a new post-apocalyptical video game after winning the election! It's called President Evil.
- What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast? "Hail, Caesar"
- What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxi cabs!
Got this from a joke book my niece got for Christmas. Most of them were groaners but this one actually made me laugh! - Ever hear about the Roman general who had a fit every time there was cold weather? Hail.. seizure
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Hails One Liners
Which hails one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hails? I can suggest the ones about hollers and hail mary.
- Someone donates one kidney and is hailed as a hero. I donate five, and get arrested?
- What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.
- I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain but it hurt like hail.
- what did the cloud say to the atmosphere? what the hail was that?!
- What did the rain say when it was too cold What the hail
- What's worse than raining buckets? Hailing taxis
- Today I went outside and I shouted, "Hail Satan!" Satan: Nah, I'm pretty sure it's sleet.
- Ice started to fall from the sky the other day... Oh hail no.
- What did the Italian say after the hail storm? "My car! issa Al Dente."
- Why didn't Jesus make the basketball team? Because he only throws Hail Mary's.
- What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land? "Aw *hail* naw!"
- I'm making it hail! Said the man throwing coins at the strippers
- Where do only the finest South Pacific neckbeards hail from? M'laysia.
- Have you ever got hit by frozen rain? It hurts luke hail.
- I think I just got hit by freezing rain. It hurt like hail, I'll say that.
Silly Hails Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about hails you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean praise jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hails pranks.
A man approaches an ancient temple seeking enlightenment
He hails the monk guarding the gate, "I have come to seek enlightenment for I know nothing"
The monk perks up, "Greetings, what is your name traveler?"
The man smiles, "I am Steve"
The monk laughs, "Lying so soon?"
A Japanese businessman hails a taxi...
As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by.
"Oooh," exclaims the businessman, "that's a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!"
Moments later, another car speeds ahead.
"Ahhhhh," exclaims the businessman again, "a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!"
Then once more, another car rushes ahead.
"Oooooh," exclaims the businessman, "a Mitsubishi! Made in Japan and very fast again!"
Then they reach their destination.
"Why bill so big?!" complained the Japanese.
"Meter's made in Japan," replied the driver. "Very fast!"
An elderly classical languages professor goes to Rome for a conference.
He hails a taxi as he leaves the airport, and the driver points to a sign saying "Tell driver your destination". The professor hesitates for a moment. He doesn't speak Italian, but doesn't want the driver to misunderstand his directions in English. Suddenly realizing that Italian is descended from Latin he says, "Adducere me ad Marriott deversorium"
The cab driver nods and puts the car in gear. As he into traffic he says, "Wow, you sure haven't been to Rome for a long time."
Pouring rain, New York City. A drunk hails a cab.
Cabbie rolls down the windo, the drunk man says "hey mister, do you gave room for half a chicken and a six-pack in here"?
Annoyed, the cabbie says "sure"
the drunk says BLUGHHHHHH
A commissar goes to a collective farm...
... And hails a farmer to ask about how his village's farms are doing.
The farmer says "Oh Comrade Commissar, if we stacked all the potatoes in a pile, it would reach the foot of God!"
The commissar raises an eyebrow and says "Comrade farmer, we live in the USSR. There is no god."
The farmer replied: "That's okay, there are no potatoes either."
A man hails a cab...
...and gets inside. The driver starts, and decides to mess with the man a little bit. "I'm actually a spy you know" he says to his passenger. "Really?" The passenger says. "Yeah, you see the man on that bike? I need to take him down" He speeds up a bit and right when he's about to hit the bike messenger, he slows, just missing him. The driver then hears a thud, when the passenger says, "You missed him, but I got him with the door!"
Do You Know A Good Place to Get Scrod?
A traveller who is a huge fan of seafood arrives in Boston for the first time. He leaves the airport and hails a cab. After he gets in, he excitedly says to the cabbie, "Hey, I'm new in town. Can you tell me a good place to go to get scrod?" The cabbie replies [in a thick Boston accent], "Pal, I've got to congratulate you. I've heard that question a lot over the years, but that's the first time I've ever heard it in the pluperfect subjunctive."
(it's a long story)A farmer sees a stranger walking down the road...
A farmer sees a stranger walking down the road. In a few minutes the man comes back and hails the farmer. He says "I see you have some Honeysuckle growing down the road. I was wondering if you had an old jar that I can collect the honey in?"
The farmer is confused and says "Well you can have a jar, but you won't get honey from a Honeysuckle."
The man replies "If you know how you can."
So the farmer gives him the jar. Soon he comes back to show the farmer and, sure enough, the jar is full of golden honey.
A few days later the stranger comes by again. He says "I see you have some Milkweed growing along the road. Would you have a bucket I can collect some milk in."
The farmer laughs and says "That was a good trick with the honey, but you can't get milk from a Milkweed."
The man replies "If you know how you can."
The farmer gives him the bucket and soon enough he comes back with the pail full of milk.
A week later the stranger comes by again.
He says to the farmer "I see you have some Pussywillows growing.."
The farmers interrupts with "Wait'll I get my hat!"
Heads or tails?
h**...: \*hails\*
Did you hear of the dyslexic satanist?
He now hails Santa.
A man gets off the plane
in a country he has never been before. He steps out the airport and hails a cab.
Once he's in and tells the address, the cabbie starts driving like a lunatic. The man starts grabbing his seat while the cabbie does dangerous movements.
When they come across a red light, and the cabbie doesn't stop, the man gathers up his courage to say "At least stop at the red light" in a soft voice.
Cabbie responds "manly drivers do not stop at red lights"
A little while later there is a green light at an intersection and the cab stops. Surprised the man asks "What kinda lunatic are you to drive past red lights and stop at green?"
Cabbie says "there are other manly drivers too"
What rapper hails from St..Petersburg ?
Metro Boomin