Hail Jokes

98 hail jokes and hilarious hail puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Say hail and farewell to the punchline with hail jokes! Take a break from the raindrops with puns about hail, heil, and tornadoes! Laugh out loud at these silly jokes that involve hail in some way, and feel free to spread the laughter.

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Short Hail Jokes
Hail One Liners
Hail Mary Jokes
Hail Storm Jokes
More Hail Jokes

Best Short Hail Jokes

Short hail puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hail humour may include short salute jokes also.

The devil asked his resident weatherman what the forecast was for the week ahead... "Hail, Satan"
So when I donate a kidney I'm hailed as a hero, but when I donate 20 kidneys I get arrested? Make up your mind hospitals!
I dont get it If someone donates 1 kindey, they're hailed a hero, but I donate 5 and get arrested!?
I've spent the day in a German police station. Word to the wise… Don't go hailing a taxi in Germany like you do in other countries.
I asked a priest why I couldn't just say a bunch of Hail Marys before committing a sin Apparently the church isn't a fan of anything Pre-Marytal
When the Romans landed in Britain... When the Romans landed in Britain,
The weather proved a teaser!
The emperor asked "Could this be rain?",
But the answer was "Hail, Caesar"
To silence her critics who hail her as Satan, Hillary is set to launch a new post-apocalyptical video game after winning the election! It's called President Evil.
What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast? "Hail, Caesar"
What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxi cabs!
Got this from a joke book my niece got for Christmas. Most of them were groaners but this one actually made me laugh!
Ever hear about the Roman general who had a fit every time there was cold weather? Hail.. seizure

Hail joke, Ever hear about the Roman general who had a fit every time there was cold weather?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about hail can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of hail puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Hail One Liners

Which hail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hail? I can suggest the ones about praise and greet.

Someone donates one kidney and is hailed as a hero. I donate five, and get arrested?
What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain but it hurt like hail.
what did the cloud say to the atmosphere? what the hail was that?!
What did the rain say when it was too cold What the hail
What's worse than raining buckets? Hailing taxis
Today I went outside and I shouted, "Hail Satan!" Satan: Nah, I'm pretty sure it's sleet.
Ice started to fall from the sky the other day... Oh hail no.
What did the Italian say after the hail storm? "My car! issa Al Dente."
Why didn't Jesus make the basketball team? Because he only throws Hail Mary's.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land? "Aw *hail* naw!"
I'm making it hail! Said the man throwing coins at the strippers
Where do only the finest South Pacific neckbeards hail from? M'laysia.
Have you ever got hit by frozen rain? It hurts luke hail.
I think I just got hit by freezing rain. It hurt like hail, I'll say that.

Hail Mary Jokes

Here is a list of funny hail mary jokes and even better hail mary puns that will make you laugh with friends.

How did the Catholic priest make one team lose the Superbowl? He told the quarterback to do 20 hail Marys.
During confession I told my priest I'd been shooting up a designer drug called "Jesus Christ". He said "Ten Hail Mary's. Thou shalt not take god's name in vein."
It's not that I'm praying that Katy Perry has a wardrobe malfunction but... Let's just say it's another time a Hail Mary is applicable to football.
What's Notre Same football's favorite play? A Hail Mary.
A man goes to a confession booth claiming he has a tendency to be involved in a lot of b**... type things... His punishment was 30 Hail Mary's.

Hail Storm Jokes

Here is a list of funny hail storm jokes and even better hail storm puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What do you get when you drive a german compact car through a hail storm? A volkswagen Golf ball.
Bad weather? FEMA representative: During the last storm did you receive any damage to your property?
Homeowner: Hail, yes.
My mother always used to tell me not to go outside when there's gonna be a storm... She said it would all go to hail.
One day, Adolf h**... looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds. Worried, he contacted a meteorologist and asked him what the weather was going to be like.
The meteorologist replied, "Hail, h**...!"

Hail joke, One day, Adolf h**... looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds.

Hilarious Fun Hail Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about hail you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean applause jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make hail prank.

In a tundra, a man was trying to shelter himself from the weather

It was hurting like hail.

How Worcestershire Sauce got its name

In the late 1800s in New Orleans a chef in a restaurant had just whipped up a concoction to be applied to meat and he asked a waiter to take it out to a well-lubed patron for a test. The diner was of course most agreeable and added quite a bit of it to his cut of beef. Upon tasting it, he rather liked it and turned around to hail the waiter by clumsily calling out, "Hey, whorsh diss'here sauce??", and so the name was thereupon given.

What is h**...'s favorite kind of weather?

Hail

Two Mexicans were walking through the desert...

After days without food or water, one of them spot a tree on the horizon.
"Look ese" one of them says. "Is a bacon tree!"
The other Mexican becomes excited, and starts running towards the tree. When he is only a few yards away, a hail of bullets hit him, and he falls to the ground. With his last breath he shouts to his friend.
"Run ese, is no bacon tree. Is a ham-bush"

3 drunk men

Three men hail a taxi. The driver—seeing that they're drunk—decides to pull a fast one. So he switches the engine on, then quickly switches it off and announces, We're here!
The first guy hands him the fare, the second guy says, Thanks, but the third guy angrily smacks the
cabbie's head.
What was that for? asks the cabbie, afraid he's been caught.
That, says the passenger, is for driving so fast!

A priest is taking confession when a woman confesses to giving head...

The priest doesn't know what head is but he figures it's bad if it is something she's confessing to, so he gives her a couple of Hail Marys and an Our Father.
Later that day the priest is contemplating his day in the rectory garden when he sees a nun. He can't get this "head" out of his head, so he asks the nun, "Sister, can I ask you a question? What's head."
"Same is in town, Father, $20"

Confession

Matthew goes into a confessional box and says "Bless me father for I have sinned, I have been with a loose woman."
The Priest says "is that you Matthew?"
"Yes father, it is I."
"Who was the woman you were with?"
"I cannot tell you for I do not wish to sully her reputation."
The priest asks "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"No father."
"Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
"No father."
"Was it Ann Brown?"
"No father, I cannot tell you."
The priest says "I admire your perseverance but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys."
Matthew goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and asks "What did you get?" Matthew replies "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three good leads."

So, Jesus and Satan are sitting on a park bench one day

...just chilling, and Satan asks, "Hey JC, what's it called when little chunks of ice fall from the sky? It's not like I get to see it very often."
Jesus says, "Hail, Satan."
And Satan's all like, "YEEEEEAH, BOI!"
And Jesus is all like, "Oh, you."

Pope Benedict and Pope Francis are about to watch the World Cup Final...

Francis says, "sorry, but I spoke to Jesus last night and he said he'd do all he can to help Argentina win." Benedict says, "that's too bad, I spoke to Satan and he said he'd do everything he can to help Germany win." The game starts, and Francis says, "is that referee Italian?" Benedict says, "Yep. Hail Satan."

A man goes into confession...

Man - "Father I have sinned. I had s**... out of wedlock."
Father - "Oh that is bad. Who was it with?"
Man - "Oh no, I don't want to say who it was."
Father - "Well was it Mary?"
Man - "No no sir it wasn't Mary."
Father - "Well than it must've been Susie."
Man - "No father it wasn't Susie. I don't really want to say."
Father - "Ok just go ten hail Marys then you should be ok."
The man goes outside and sees his friends waiting for him.
Friends - "How was it?"
Man - "Not bad, I got two great leads!"

Whilst at college I did experiment with m**....

I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail.
^-- ^Ed ^Byrne

It's okay to smoke w**...

It's okay to smoke w**... in the rain,
but don't in hail

A man walks into a church confession booth ...

"Father, I have a confession to make; I had a t**... with two hot teachers."
"Well my son, we all have our transgressions. I want to you say 10 Hail Mary's".
"Father I can't do that, I'm Jewish !"
"Then why are you telling me this ? "
"Father, I'm telling EVERYBODY"

he can't because he is Jewish

a man saw a priest and said: 'Father i have sinned!' the priest asked what the mans sin was. the man said: 'i'm 86 yrs old and i had s**... with a 26 yr old girl!' the priest told the man to go home and say 6 hail Mary's. the man says he can't because he is Jewish. the priest asks: 'so why are you telling me?' the man says: 'I'm telling everyone!'

What do the North Koreans say when tgey see Kim Jong Un?

Hail mighty shitperor.

A nun goes to confession....

A nun goes to confession. She tells the priest, "Bless me father for I have sinned, I have not worn p**... under my dress for about 3 years ".
The priest replies,"no problem my dear, just say 5 Hail Mary's and do a few cartwheels on the way out".

I saw a synopsis and some abstracts shot down in a hail of bullet points.

I guess it was a summary execution.

Adolf h**... once asked the Germans if it was raining in their place

The Germans replied "No, it's hail h**..."

h**... decides to hire a weather forecaster

[h**...] what's the weather looking like today?
[Forecaster] Hail, h**...!

An 80 year old man walks into a confessional booth

He tells the priest that he just had a t**... with two 20 year old girls. Father said "I'm glad you confessed, adultery is a sin, and your penance is to say five Hail Maries." The 80 year old replied, "I've never said the Hail Mary, I'm Jewish."
The good father asked, "Then why did you come here to tell me this?"
"I'm 80 years old and just had a t**...," he replied. "I'm telling everyone"

A woman goes to confession, tells the priest she has deviant s**... thoughts...

She says she cant help these s**... thoughts and doesnt know what to do. It has gotten so bad she even stopped wearing p**.... The priest says, "ok my child. I want you to do 10 hail marys 5 our fathers and 43 cartwheels."

I was once an avid s... of w......

I did w**... everywhere
I did it in rain
I did it in snow
But I did not, in hail.

A man goes to church

And tells the priest "Father, I almost cheated on my wife."
The priest asks him "How do you almost cheat on your wife?"
The man says "Well, me and the woman were n**... but we just rubbed against each other."
The priest looks at him disgusted and says "Rubbing is the same as putting it in. Never do it again, say five Hail Mary's and put $100 in the donation pan."
The next time the priest sees the man he is infuriated "You didn't put $100 in the pan!"
The man looks at the priest disgusted and says "I rubbed the money against the pan, and rubbing is the same as putting it in."

Caesar comes across a problem

During Julis Caesar's campaigns against the Germanic tribes, he came across never before seen weather, it came crashing down on the men and stalled exit of the most recently conquered villages.
Amazed by this, he asks one of the local what it is.
"Hail, Caesar" The man replies.

Kleptocracy

In Trump's new administration what tune will they play when Trump enters the room?
Hail to the thief.

How do you keep Haile Selassie I warm?

A Jah-Koozie

Adolf asked his advisor "How's the weather today?"

"Hail, h**..."

A Viking is arguing with his wife

"It's definitely hail" says Gertha
"No, it's rain!" Says Rudolf
"No, it's round and hard, it's hail!" She retorts.
Getting very flustered now, Rudolf shouts "Look! Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"

Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.

"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kate Dannaher?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"
"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."
Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"
He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."

What do you call a hail damage repair expert?

A dentist.

Hailing a taxi must look a lot like trying trying to pick up a p**....

Every time I try, a taxi pulls up.

Did you hear about the Allies prototype ice bomb from World War Two?

It was called "Hail h**...".

So, Julius Ceaser was afraid of storms but one night he had to go out.

A big storm was brewing, he ordered one of his minders to go out and report the weather to him. Upon his return he was asked " so was it raining?" To which his minder reported " all hail Ceaser"!!

Ancient Rome conquered many lands. The leader of the time decided to tour...

He made it to England where he encountered a type of weather he had never seen before. As the frozen rain fell he asked "what is this?!"
The commander replied "Hail, Cesar".
Cesar replied "Hail! Now, what is this weather?"
...
...
"It's horrible."
"Agree."

How do the people of Arendelle adress Queen Elsa?

"All **hail** the queen!"
*address (typo in the title)

What did the r**... say when it started to rain ice?

*"What the hail?"*
i'll ^see ^^my ^^^way ^^^^out.

What did the German general say to the fuhrer when ice chunks started to damage the planes?

Hail, h**...!

What did the roman meteorologist say to his emperor about tomorrow's weather?

Hail, Caesar

90 year old married man enters confessional

Bypassing the usual protocols, he tells the priest rather abruptly that he had s**... with a beautiful 20 year old woman, who wasn't his wife.
The Priest states my son, you must say 10 Our Fathers, 3 Hail Marys, when the old man cuts him off, and says, wait I am not Catholic. The Priest says, well why are you telling this?
The old man exclaims I'm telling everybody!

What's the kings favourite weather?

Hail.

What's h**...'s favorite weather?

hail

What happens when the temperature drops during a torrential rain?

The weather goes straight to hail.

Forgive me Father for I have Sinned

A teenage boy goes to confession. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I've had premarital s**....
The priest says My son, who was the young lady? Was it Mary O'Toole?
I won't say her name. I don't want her to get in trouble.
Was it Jane Thompson? Laura Smith?
Father, I'm not saying who it was.
He exits the confessional and his friend asks What'd you get?
Ten Hail Mary's, five Our Father's, and three good leads.

A man goes to church to confess his sins.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," he tells him
"What is it that you've done, my child?"
"Father, I've had premarital s**... with 6 different beautiful women. One for each day since Monday."
The priest takes a good look at him before replying, "Well, son, say 10 hail Mary's and drink a pint of lime juice."
"Will that absolve my sins, Father?"
"No, but it sure as h**... will wipe that s**... smirk on your face!"

Two men are lost in the desert when they spot a tree covered in bacon.

One of the men exclaims "a bacon tree! we're saved". However as he rushes over to it he dies in a hail of bullets. It turns out that it wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

Teenage boys

Two teenage boys go to confession. In the booth the first boy admits having s**... with a girl but refuses to name her. The priest asks, 'It wasn't Mary Jones, was it?' The boy says 'No, Father it wasn't'. The priest asks' 'Was it Angela Brown?'. The boy replies 'No, Father. it wasn't. 'It wasn't Jane Carter by any chance?' The boy says 'No father it wasn't' The priest gives up and says 'Well for your penance say fifty Hail Mary's and leave half your pocket money in the poor box.' When the boy leaves his friend asks him how it went. He replies 'Not bad, a $5 fine and three great leads!'

What did Hailey Joel Osmont say when climbing mt everest?

Icy dead people

Hail joke, Today I went outside and I shouted, "Hail Satan!"

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these hail jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.