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Haff Jokes

5 haff jokes and hilarious haff puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about haff that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Uproarious Haff Jokes to Share with Friends

What is a good haff joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

British clock in german hands

During world war II, a british clock found its way into german hands. The strange thing about this clock was it went tick-tick-tick-tick, instead of tick-tock-tick-tock. The germans could not figure this out.
Finally, it went to the gestapo. Their chief interrogator softly whispered to the clock " We haff ways to make you tock"

Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying "Tick, tick, tick, tick,..."?

"Ve haff vays of meking you tock."

What did the German clock maker say to the broken clock?

Ve haff vays of making you tock!

German coast guard

An American cruise ship was following the German coast when it got caught off course in a storm, hit some rocks in the shallow water, and started to sink.
The captain of the ship got on the radio:
"Help! Help!"
He got a reply:
"Hello, ziss is German coast guard. Do you haff a problem?"
"Help us! We're sinking! We're sinking!"
..."Vot are you sinking about?"

A fighter pilot is shot down over Germany in World War II...

He wakes up in a German POW hospital. A German officer is standing over his bed as he comes-to.
"I'm verry sorry to inform you, but vee haff had to amputate your left leg," says the officer.
"Oh no," cries the pilot, "lost a limb? This is terrible news. Crutches for the rest of my life and all that. Listen, could you boys do me a favor? Could you drop my leg over my base, so it can receive an American burial?"
The German confers with his peers and answers, "Ziss vee can do."
A week later, the American awakens to find the officer standing over him again.
"Unfortunately, zee infection has spread, and vee must take your uzza leg."
"No! Crikey! I'll have to get a little cart, and sell pencils in front of the library. Listen; can you boys drop my leg over my base, so it can receive an American burial?"
Again, the German speaks to his fellows. "Ziss vee can do."
After another week, the American wakes to the German again.
"Vee are very sorry, but zee infection has spread to your right arm. Vee must take zat one as vell."
"Oh, cruel gods! No, no! Listen, can you boys do me a favor? Can you drop..."
"ZISS VEE CANNOT DO!!" the German interrupts.
"...but...why not?" asks the American.
"Vee sink you're trying to escape..."


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about haff can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of haff puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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