The Best 66 Had A Stroke Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Had A Stroke jokes. There are some had a stroke golf jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these had a stroke bench puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Had A Stroke Jokes and Puns
3 Old Women and a Flasher
Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a man
comes by and flashes them.
Two of them have a stroke, and the third one couldn't
reach.
Death Notice
An old man and his wife had just moved to Australia when the wife passed away after a stroke. While talking to the neighbour about her passing, it was mentioned that in their new country, it is common to announce deaths with a classified ad in that section of the newspaper. Well, the old man decides that's a great idea and heads back home to dial the newspaper.
"Hi there, I'd like to place a death notice."
"OK then. Firstly, sorry for your loss. Now what would you like it to say?"
"Have it say, "Ruth died.""
"Well, um, that's, um, somewhat blunt, but the minimum charge is for five words. Is there anything else you'd like to add?"
"OK. Let me think, um... "Ruth died. Toyota for sale.""
Three old ladies
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher runs up and opens his trench coat in front of them.
The first old lady has a stroke.
The second old lady has a stroke.
The third old lady can't reach that far.
So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by...
The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him.
What was it called when Einstein masturbated?
Stroke of genius.
So three old ladies are sitting on a park bench....
When all of the sudden a flasher comes by and, before they can reach for their canes, opens his trench coat and flashes them. The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady couldn't reach that far.
Three old women were sitting on a park bench...
...all of a sudden, a man ran in front of them wearing a long overcoat. He opened up his coat, and he was wearing nothing underneath. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third one couldn't reach.
So I taught my Grandad how to use skype ...
Only problem is, I can never tell if it's just buffering or if he's having a stroke.
Three little old ladies
Three little old ladies were enjoying an evening on the town, when suddenly they were accosted by a flasher. The first little old lady had a stroke! Then the second one had a stroke! But the third one refused to touch it.
Two nuns
Two nuns are sitting on a bench. A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. One of the nuns has a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach.
(NSFW) Little Johnny rides again
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
You can explore had a stroke breaststroke reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean had a stroke tall dad jokes. There are also had a stroke puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Three Little Old Ladies
Three little old ladies were at the bus stop in front of their church when a young man ran up to them and exposed himself. The oldest one had a stroke. The other two couldn't reach.
I used to be embarrassed by my geology fetish.
I started off stroking gravel but now I'm feeling a little boulder.
What do you call a handjob from a rocket scientist?
A stroke of genius.
Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench
A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach.
What do you call Albert Einstein giving a handjob?
A stroke of genius.
Three nuns are sitting on a bench when
a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach.
My grandfather had a stroke this week..
He saw a picture of my grandmother when she was younger and couldn't help himself.
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench...
A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them.
Two of the ladies immediately have a stroke. The third couldn't reach.
My girlfriend's dog came running up to us for a cuddle.
"I love you Freddy," she said, stroking his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
She said, "I don't think so, I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."
The god Thor is bored one day and decided to try out having sex with a mortal woman...
He heads down to earth and finds a beautiful young woman. Pouring on the charm, he convinces her to go to bed with him. He goes back to her place and enjoys her in every possible way, absolutely plowing her with all his god-like strength and endurance. 7 hours later, he rolls off. She's laying there, gasping and panting, shaking, and exhausted from the most incredible sex she's ever had in her life. She can't even speak. All she can do is stroke his chest with a trembling hand. He understands her point, though. He was amazing.
"I've got a confession to make," he says. "I'm actually Thor."
"You're thor!? I'm tho thor, I won't be able to thit down for a week!
The baby
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this…
Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault.
What's it called when a smart girl jerks you off?
A stroke of genius!
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a long coat walks up to them and exposes himself...
The first old lady says, "My goodness!" and immediately has a stroke. The second lady, seeing the first lady, also has a stroke. The third lady couldn't reach.
A man walks into a barber shop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.
"And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Last night I witnessed my dad having a stroke
I really wish he would lock the door when he does that.
Studies find if a woman has a glass of wine a day increases the chances of a stroke.
If you let her have more she might suck it too.
Doctors have confirmed that masturbation is life threatening
Many men have died after having a stroke
My grandma caught me masturbating and she had a stroke...
She has such soft hands...
A man is in bed with his Thai girlfriend. [NSFW]
After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his goods, something she had lovingly done on many occasions. Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?' She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'
Golf is like urinating in a public toilet
- Keep your back straight
- knees bent.
- Feet shoulder width apart.
- Form a loose Grip
- keep your head down
- avoid a quick backswing
- stay out of the water
- try not to hit anybody
- if you taking too long you should let others go ahead of you
- you shouldn't stand directly in front of others
- be quite when others are about to go
- keep strokes to a minimum
Woman is at a maternity hospital in a lot of pain.
Her husband strokes her back and says, "I'm sorry sweety, you have to go through this"
She says, "Don't worry. It's not your fault."
I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault....
It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'.
Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a stroke, the second lady had a stroke, but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.
Two old ladies were sitting on a bench...
Two old ladies were sitting on a bench having a quiet chat, when a flasher approached from across the park. He stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat, exposing himself.
One of the ladies immediately had a stroke.
The other lady, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.
A man finds God and asked
Man: "God... How long is a millenium to you?"
God: " 1 second "
Man: "God.... How much is a billion dollars to you?"
God: " A penny "
The man started stroking his chin and got an idea.
Man: "God.... Can you lend me a penny?"
God: " Sure.... Just give me a second "
How do most elderly golfers die?
They have a bad stroke
There were two old ladies sitting on a park bench
when a flasher came by. The flasher stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
The first old lady had a stroke,
but the second old lady couldn't reach it.
Excuse me while I typeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sorry, I just had a key-stroke.
At least my massive stroke wasn't all bad news.
My poker playing has improved by about 50%.
If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chances of a stroke by 50%
Let her finish the bottle and she'll probably suck it as well.
[nsfw] What do you call it when a leprechaun gives you a handjob?
A stroke of luck
Kids in class were asked to write 3 diseases
One kid wrote:
1. HIV, AIDS
2. Cancer
3. /
The teacher asked what's '/' ?
Student replied it's a stroke.
As a paramedic, I've learned that there is something you can never say with a straight face:
I'm having a stroke.
Where is the line between romance and perversion?
Romance is stroking a woman tenderly with a feather.
Perversion is when that feather is still attached to the chicken.
Three old ladies
Three old ladies were sitting on a bench seat when a Flasher ran up & Flashed them.
The first old lady had a stroke..
The second old lady had a stroke too...
The third old lady couldn't reach.....
I watched a documentary about stroke survivors last night.
It was a bit one sided.
Why do old people like golf?
Just like in their life, the goal is to get the least amount of strokes before you go in the hole
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Three Old Ladies Sitting on a park bench.
Three old ladies are sitting in the park. Just chatting it up on a park bench like old ladies will do.
Suddenly, a man in a trench coat walks up to them and opens his coat and flashes them with all that god had given him to offer.
Well, the first old lady immediately has a stroke.
The second old lady has a stroke soon after.
The third old lady, being more old and feeble, couldn't reach that far.
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench...
Suddenly, a streaker runs past them! One of the nuns had a stroke! The other tried but she couldn't reach.
I got a hand job from Albert Einstein the other day...
It was a stroke of genius
I got kicked out of the swimming pool today.
Apparently the breast stroke isn't what I thought it was.
Three old ladies are sitting on a bench...
... when a man came up and flashed them. Two of the ladies immediately had a stroke, but the other couldn't quite reach.
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench.
All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the nearby bushes and flashes them.
One old lady had a stroke, the other couldn't reach.
Three old ladies are sitting on a bench
A flasher runs up and opens his coat.
The first woman immediately had a stroke.
The second had one only a moment later.
The third didn't because she couldn't reach.
What's the difference between Joe Biden and Donald Trump?
When Joe Biden speaks, you wonder if he's had a stroke.
When Donald Trump speaks, you wonder if you've had a stroke.
What is the difference between a Joe Biden speech and a Donald Trump speech?
When Biden is speaking you wonder if he's had a stroke.
When Trump is speaking you wonder if you've had a stroke.
Three elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench in Central Park. Suddenly, a man dressed in an overcoat appears from behind a tree. The man casually opens his coat and flashes the unsuspecting ladies.
Surprised, the first lady had a stroke. The second lady also had a stroke. The third lady, though, declined to touch it.
Three little old ladies were on a bench when a naked man walked by
The first little old lady... Had a stroke
The second little old lady... Had a stroke
But the third little old lady's arms weren't long enough to reach.
3 old ladies
3 old ladies were sitting on a park bench. A flasher comes over and rips open his raincoat. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady couldn't reach it.
Just got back from the doctor... he said I can touch myself inappropriately whenever I want to!
Wife: Grabs report "This says you could have a stroke at any time"
My doctor said I could touch myself whenever I felt like it.
His exact words were that I could have a stroke any time.
Same thing.
My swimming instructor asked me what my favourite stroke was.
Apparently "The one that killed Margaret Thatcher" wasn't the right answer.
"The doctor said that I should touch myself whenever I feel like it."
"No, Dave. He said you could have a stroke at any time."
What do you call it when a smart person masturbates?
A stroke of genius.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the had a stroke type jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working had a stroke reach piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.