Hacked Jokes

Apple iCloud was hacked releasing n**... pictures of celebrities all over the internet

Thank god Adele uses android

So Kim Jong-un is claiming he personally hacked into Sony's servers in retaliation to them broadcasting a spoof interview.

Is there no end to this Olympic gold Medallist's
talent?

You know what's the saddest part of North Korea getting hacked?

It won't get to see this.

My Friendster account was hacked. Now I'm being extorted for all those testimonials I wrote.

Said no one ever.

One day an obnoxious atheist asked a pious Muslim man to explain to him why people suffered If God existed. The Muslim calmly thought for a minute

And then hacked that disbeliever's head clean off.

I've hacked my phone so it can control my TV's subwoofer.

I've hacked my phone so it can control my TV's subwoofer.
I like to root for the underdog.

What did m**... Jagger say to the guy who hacked into his dropbox account?..

Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!

"Sorry someone hacked my Facebook"

The best comeback when coming out fails.

Computer Hacking Investigator Job Interview

A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of "Computer Hacking Investigator"
The boss asked him:
So, what makes you suitable for this job?
Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.

A woman is pulled over for speeding

Cop: May I ask you why were you speeding?
Woman: That is not possible, I think that Russians hacked your speedometer

Can anybody help me figure out who hacked all those Yahoo accounts??

At least someone could remember my password.

Educational video website Lynda.com got hacked

I hope they learned their lesson.

What did Darth Vader say when the Church of Scientology website got hacked?

"I find your hack of faith disturbing."

I hacked Russia's servers last night and got caught...

I was Putin jail.

Account hacked

My account was hacked the other day. The poster was so polite that he sent me a message to ask me if he could post through my account.
Thank God for the Canadians..

Did you hear that Trump's twitter account got hacked?

Well, I didn't either, but I've got about as much evidence as he does about those wiretaps, so I'm sticking to my story.

Our ATMs cannot be hacked due to 2 high security protocols...

1. No cash.
2. Out of service.

Don't open emails from Lizzie Borden

You will get hacked.

Never let Lizzie Borden onto your Wi-Fi network...

You will get hacked.

I was an hour late for work

I told them that Russia hacked my alarm clock and now I still have a job for the next two years while my boss
appoints a special investigation to look into it :)

For a school presentation, I hacked into the school server.

The teacher gave me a C++.

What did Robbie Rotten say when he hacked into the Pentagon?

*Look at this net, that I just found.*

If you got caught cheating in 2017

All you have to say is "the Russians hacked my e**...!"

Who Came First

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on it's face.
The egg, looking very hacked off, grabs the quilt, rolls over and says, "Well, we finally answered THAT question!"

I was hacked by Russia!

I think Russians might have hacked me...

I think I got hacked by Russia...

Mother Russia do no such thing.
Mother Russia is great.
I love Mother Russia.

Can someone help me please?

I keep getting people messaging me in Russian and I think my account may have been hacked.

Today I awoke with a song in my heart.

Someone had hacked my pacemaker.

Do not accept a friend request from Lizzie Borden....

You will get hacked.

To the guy who hacked my account

I will find you.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day . . .

Teach a man to phish and he'll create a constitutional crisis using hacked emails and kompromat.

I had a dream I was attacked in my kitchen by a giant head of cabbage. I grabbed a knife and stabbed, hacked, and slashed at it, but it still kept coming! I threw a jar of mayonnaise at it, to no avail -- then I hurled a bag of carrots, but nothing would stop it! In the end...

I fought the slaw and the slaw won.

I hacked the recipe computers

at the Campbell's Soup Company. Do you want me to post them in their entirety,
Or just the condensed version.

Grindr got hacked in March of 2018.

Looks like someone found the back door.

My girlfriend is a gold digger

I hacked into hero account to post this.

Sir, your account has been hacked!

A: Facebook?!
B: No, your bank account!
A: Oh! Thank God!

My grandma thinks her phone was hacked

She's been telling me for weeks that she thought her iPhone had been hacked and I kept reminding her that iPhones don't get viruses. Today she told me that it before it happens, she always get a message from his fake name, Mr. Bat Low.
True story

To the person who hacked my Facebook account.

It's totally fine if you can get my total number of friends up to 10.

My 7yo daughter hacked my dad's joke...

My dad asked my 7yo daughter which letter of the alphabet has the most water in it. The answer he was looking for was C.
My daughter immediately shouts out P!

Have you heard about the IT employee who got hacked weeks ago?

Well, he is in pieces now.

Man informs the bank 3months after his credit card got hacked

OC: Why didn't you inform us as soon as you came to know you card got hacked?
Man: Because the thief was spending less than my wife did.
OC: So why inform us now?
Man: The spending rate has 4x increased, seems like the thief's wife has started using it

The executioner decapitated the man in a single s**..., and then hacked him into pieces.

Almost a flawless execution, but then he butchered it.

Hacker sent me an email that he has hacked into my computer.

I said "prove it" and he sent me the username and password of my email, bank and social media accounts.
I replied "Thank you, that was the easiest Forgot Password process I have ever come across".

My brother was murdered today

cop: do you mind identifying the body \[puts hand on my shoulder\] I have to warn you the body was hacked up.
me: \[tearing up\] yes that's my brother Reese.
cop: you're sure?
me: \[nodding\] those are Reese's Pieces.