The Best 82 Gynecologist Jokes
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny gynecologist jokes. From clever one-liners to hilarious puns, we've got everything you need to take your mind off of your next appointment.
Top 10 Funniest Gynecologist Jokes and Puns
You know when you get the urge to eat something just because it's there?
Anyways, I lost my job as a gynecologist today.
So an old Nun goes to the gynecologist...
...for her normal check up. The doctor checks her out, and tells her the bad news. "Sister, I hate to tell you this, but you've got crabs." With a look of panic on her face, she says "That's impossible, I've never been with anyone! Can you look again?" Reluctantly, the doctor agrees to have another look. After a second check, the doctor looks up and says, "Sorry sister, they're not crabs. They're fruit flies, your cherry's gone bad!"
What does a farsighted gynecologist have in common with a puppy dog?
They both got a wet nose.
A Gynecologist walks into an exam room
Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"
What not to ask a gynecologist when seeking dating advice.
What do you look for in a woman?
Why is a pizza delivery guy like a gynecologist?
They're allowed to smell it, but they get in trouble if they eat it.
Teehee
What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist.
They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure.
One time I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist....
Unfortunately, I couldn't find any openings.....
A great cardiologist is being buried.
All of his colleagues and fellow surgeons are reunited to mourn his. All except for one man who is laughing. The cardiologist's coffin was in the shape of a heart to honor his career. The man continues to laugh. Finally they ask him why he is so happy at a funeral and he responds "I was picturing my funeral because I'm a gynecologist".
Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning?
He smelled a little fishy.
A blonde goes to her gynecologist...
A blonde goes to her gynecologist and tells the doctor that no matter how hard she and her husband have tried, she just can't get pregnant.
The doctor says, OK, take off your clothes and lay down on the table.
The blonde says, Um, all right. But I was really hoping to have my husband's baby.
You can explore gynecologist pregnancy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gynecologist obstetrics dad jokes. There are also gynecologist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A couple of newlyweds on were on their honeymoon and moments before the passionate love making commenced, the wife says to the husband, "Please, be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
The husband was shocked and replied, "How's this possible? You've been married *three* times before!"
The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, *god*, I miss him!"
You know how sometimes...
You know how sometimes even when you're not hungry you'll get tempted to eat something just because it's in front of you?ο»Ώ ο»Ώ
Well, that's how I lost my job as a gynecologist.
A man and wife are lying in bed...
The man says "hey honey, do you want to make love?"
She says "normally I would, but I have an appointment with my gynecologist in the morning, and that seems like it would be gross."
The man says "I understand" and rolls over.
After a few moments, the man rolls back over and asks "when's your next dentist appointment?"
A man from Oklahoma takes his daughter to the gynecologist...
He tells the doctor that he'd like to put her on birth-control pills. The doctor asks him how old she is.
"She's thirteen." the man says.
The doctor is somewhat startled, "That's seems a bit young, is she sexually active?"
The man replies, "Naw... she jus' lays there like 'er mother."
I wanted to be a gynecologist, but I failed medical school in the last semester.
I was so close I could taste it.
I've got a friend who's a female private investigator.
Or gynecologist, as she likes to be called.
A gynecologist decides to make a career change...
He always loved cars, and because he made so much money, salary really didnt matter to him. He decides to become a mechanic. He approaches his local shop and inquires about a job. "You need to get certified first" says the head mechanic, "ill give you the test myself, in the shop."
The doctor studies day and night and finally feels ready for his practical exam.
He comes in and is asked to fix the transmission and engine of a beaten down, old car.
After the test, he is seated in the office and the head mechanic comes in.
"Congratulations doctor, you scored 150 out of 100 points"
"im confused" the doctor says, "how did i get 150 out of 100"
"well..." the mechanic says "you fixed the engine perfectly, so thats 50. You also fixed the transmission perfectly, for another 50"
"Great! But where did the last 50 come from?"
"I gave you a bonus. You did it all through the exhaust pipe"
What Does a Gynecologist and a Pizza worker have in common?
They both get to smell it, but neither gets to eat it.
Whats a similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?
They both smell it, but they can't eat it.
What's the worst thing about being a gynecologist?
You can't eat on the job.
What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. (Credit to my uncle)
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: - Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks...
Husband: And what did the dentist say?
As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.
She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
What do you call a deaf gynecologist?
A lip reader.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common?
Always have to smell it, never get to eat it.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist
I love being a gynecologist
I find that I'm always hard at work.
My wife told me "My gynecologist says I can't have sex for two weeks"
I said "And what did your proctologist say?"
What profession is it important to know how to read lips?
A gynecologist.
What do a dog and a nearsighted gynecologist have in common?
A wet nose.
How is a gynecologist like a pizza delivery boy?
They both get close enough to smell it, but if they eat it, they'll be fired.
Ever heard of the blind gynecologist?
He could read lips
At the Hotel Bar...
A man was sitting at a hotel bar, when a group of men sat down next to him and ordered a round of drinks.
"You guys with a convention?"
"Yes, we're with the Gynecology conference"
"Really? I was this close" he holds up his finger and thumb about an inch apart "to becoming a Gynecologist."
"So what did you end up doing?"
"I'm a proctologist."
What do you call a gynecologist who really loves his job?
Ovary Enthusiastic
An old lady goes to the dentist
Sits down, drops her pants, and lifts her legs. The dentist says "I'm not a gynecologist!" She says " l know, I just need my husbands teeth back!"
This doctor is so lucky
An E.N.T. Professor retired from college. In the farewell college faculty
gifted him a silver ear.
Thanking the faculty the professor said: Thank god I am not a gynecologist.
Three doctors are talking about death
The first, a dentist, says, When I die, I think I'd like my tombstone to be shaped like a tooth made of white marble.
Hey, adds the cardiologist, that's not a bad idea, I'd love my tombstone to be shaped as a heartβ¦
The gynecologist is silent for a bit, then says, I think scattering of the ashes is my option.
A gynecologist decided to become a mechanic...
He graduated mechanic school with a 5.2 gpa and asked his teacher how that was possible.
The teacher said "Well, you aced the written exam thats half. Then you reassembled the motor perfectly, and we had to give you the extra credit when you did it all through the Muffler"!
My grandmother went to a gynecologist to check on hey cervical cancer.
The doctor says to my grandmother: "Now, Mrs. Smith, I'm going to insert my finger..."
My grandmother replies: "Can you put in two? I want a second opinion."
What's the best way to freak out your gynecologist?
Become a ventriloquist
Husband and wife get into bed for sleeping
And the husband turns to wife and starts making out.
Wife says "don't start now, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow morning so I need to keep it clean".
Husband disappointed, rolls around and tries to go to sleep.
In a few minutes, he rolls back and asks "do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow too?"
I asked my gynecologist what he looks for in a girl.
He told me he's married and to stop coming to his house.
I was so close to becoming a gynecologist
I could almost taste it.
The Cardiologist's Funeral
A renowned cardiologist passed away, and all his friends from the same hospital attended his funeral. In order to pay tribute to his profession and his passion, he was buried in a coffin shaped like a heart.
After the service, it was noticed that one of the doctors was smiling. When asked why, he said "Oh, I'm just imagining my own funeral. I'm a gynecologist, you see."
So there were a group of guys drinking at a bar...
When another customer leaned over and asked what they were celebrating.
"My buddy here is going to be a Doctor!"
"Really? What specialty?"
"He's going to be a gynecologist!"
"Really? I was this close to being a gynecologist!" He said, holding his fingers about an inch apart.
"What did you end up doing?"
"I'm a proctologist."
How many gynecologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I'm asking because mine had to call like six other guys in to help him, and I'm really starting to wonder why I needed one installed down there in the first place.
My first husband was a gynecologist ...
My first husband was a gynecologist.
All he wanted was to look.
My second husband was a philatelist.
My God, do I miss him.
What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?
They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
My friend always tells everyone that he's a private investigator,
but within our group of friends we know he's just a gynecologist.
In a room full of doctors how do you recognize the gynecologist ?
It's the one with the watch on his elbow
Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist?
He had to read lips.
What's the difference between a hired detective and a Gynecologist?
Ones a Private Investigator, the others a Privates Investigator
A lady goes to a gynecologist for a routine exam
She gets into the gown and positions herself into the stirrups. When the doctor comes in, he tells her that the exam may be painful and asked if she would like to be numbed. Afraid of the pain, she replies, please. The doctor says okay, this will just take a minute . The doctor puts on his gloves, lifts up her gown, begins to put his head between her legs and goes numb numb numb numb...
You know that urge to eat something just because it's there?
That's why I'm not a gynecologist.
What does a gynecologist have in common with a census taker?
They both make their living checking boxes.
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a gynecologist?
**A pickpocket snatches watches...**
What does a deaf gynecologist do?
Read lips.
What do a puppy and a near sighted gynecologist have in common?
They Both have a wet nose.
The gynecologist down the street is selling the upper floors of his practice...
...He only works in the downstairs area anyway...
What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common?
It's okay to smell it, but if you eat it you're gonna get fired.
Mary had a little lamb...
Her gynecologist fainted.
What does a near-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.
A gynecologist is just like a pizza delivery guy
They both get to smell it but they can't eat it.
A lady tells her husband...
My gynecologist said I can't have sex for two weeks. He replies, What did your dentist say?
Gynecologists and midwives are good at telling jokes
It's all about the delivery.
Where do Gynecologists get their training?
...
...
...
Private School
What do dogs and nearsighted gynecologist have in common
They both have wet noses
What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell the product, but they can't eat it
A doctor changes Careers.
A Gynecologist is tired of dealing with Insurance companies and decides to become an auto mechanic. He studies hard, and for the final, he needs to diagnose and rebuild an engine. He need an 80 to pass an become a certified Mechanic.
He takes test, and waits for his score.
He gets a 150 out 100. He calls the instructor to find out why he scored it that way.
The instructor says " Well you got 50 points for Diagnosing the issue correctly, 50 points for rebuilding the engine correctly, and 50 points for doing it all thru the exhaust manifold.
What does a bad gynecologist and a healthy dog have in common?
A wet nose.
If a tennis player can get tennis elbow
Does that mean a gynecologist can get tunnel vision?
What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common?
They can both smell the goods but aren't allowed to eat them.
How do you know a good gynecologist?
He can wallpaper the hall, stairs and landing through the letterbox!
Husband and wife are in bed and the husband starts in on the foreplay.
She stops him and says even though she wants to, she can't tonight. Why not asks the husband. Cause I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be nice and fresh.
Alright says the husband. He sits there for a moment and then says.
Well you ain't going to the dentist tomorrow are ya?
I went out on a date recently with my ideal woman. Highly educated, funny, compassionate, beautiful. When she told me she was a gynecologist, I knew she was the one for me
...she really checked a lot of boxes.
After a long labourous birth...
... the gynecologist finally holds the baby. Just as he is about to give it to the mom, he drops it on the floor.
The mother cries out in distress, and the doctor goes: "April's fools! It was already dead!"
Why did the woman marry her gynecologist?
He checked a lot of boxes.
Who was Princess Leia's gynecologist?
OB-Wan Kenobi
After her divorce, Susan was very picky about her dates. Finally she met a talented and funny young gynecologist.
He checked a lot of boxes.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gynecologist gyn jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working gynecologist pediatrician piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.