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Gynecologist Jokes

123 gynecologist jokes and hilarious gynecologist puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about gynecologist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Who said the realm of gynecology couldn't share a rib-tickler or two? Our quest for humor often has us scouring the corners of the paradoxical and the unexpected, making gynecologist jokes a thrilling avenue worth exploring. These jokes bring about a different kind of mirth, particularly in circumstances when an atmosphere of ease is much needed.

Whether it's the witty 'gynecologist joke about reading lips', the surprisingly amusing deaf gynecologist joke, or the humorously ironic blind gynecologist joke, the ability to laugh in unexpected contexts can be refreshing. For those who prefer their humor on the lighter side, we've also assembled a collection of clean OBGYN jokes that are certain to please.

These gynecologist jokes, apart from providing a good laugh, also serve to ease discussions surrounding the profession, positively impacting sentiment, and broadening views on what is a vastly important, yet often misinterpreted field. So, brace yourself for a laughter-filled journey that is both entertaining and perfectly suited for almost any context.

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Funniest Gynecologist Short Jokes

Short gynecologist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gynecologist humour may include short gynaecologist jokes also.

  1. You know when you get the urge to eat something just because it's there? Anyways, I lost my job as a gynecologist today.
  2. What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. (Credit to my uncle)
  3. What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common? They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
  4. What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common? Always have to smell it, never get to eat it.
  5. How is a gynecologist like a pizza delivery boy? They both get close enough to smell it, but if they eat it, they'll be fired.
  6. Why is a pizza delivery guy like a gynecologist? They're allowed to smell it, but they get in trouble if they eat it.
    Teehee
  7. What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common? They can both smell it, but not eat it.
  8. I've got a friend who's a female private investigator. Or gynecologist, as she likes to be called.
  9. What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? They can both smell the product, but they can't eat it
  10. What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist. They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure.

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Gynecologist One Liners

Which gynecologist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gynecologist? I can suggest the ones about obstetrician and female doctor.

  1. What do a dog and a nearsighted gynecologist have in common? A wet nose.
  2. What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader.
  3. Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist? He had to read lips.
  4. Why do deaf people make the best gynecologists? Because they're good at reading lips.
  5. What does a near-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.
  6. Ever heard of the blind gynecologist? He could read lips
  7. Small town gynecologists... I bet they spend a lot of time looking up old friends.
  8. I'm not a gynecologist, but I'm willing to take a look.
  9. Gynecologists and midwives are good at telling jokes It's all about the delivery.
  10. What does a deaf gynecologist do? Read lips.
  11. What's the worst thing about being a gynecologist? You can't eat on the job.
  12. What profession is it important to know how to read lips? A gynecologist.
  13. I love being a gynecologist I find that I'm always hard at work.
  14. Mary had a little lamb... Her gynecologist fainted.
  15. I was so close to becoming a gynecologist I could almost taste it.

Blind Gynecologist Jokes

Here is a list of funny blind gynecologist jokes and even better blind gynecologist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the gynecologist that looked up his old girlfriend? He was blinded by the gorgon's eye.
  • What's the good thing about a blind gynecologist? They can double as your proctologists
Gynecologist joke, What's the good thing about a blind gynecologist?

Cheerful Gynecologist Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about gynecologist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean urologist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gynecologist pranks.

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a v**...."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get s**...."

Depressed race car mechanic.

Scene: a psychiatrists practice:
'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonderful thing is out there purring, but I'll never get to enjoy it. ...'
'Well sir, I think I understand just fine, my brother in law has the exact same problem.'
'Is he a mechanic too doc?'
'No, a gynecologist'

So an old Nun goes to the gynecologist...

...for her normal check up. The doctor checks her out, and tells her the bad news. "Sister, I hate to tell you this, but you've got c**...." With a look of panic on her face, she says "That's impossible, I've never been with anyone! Can you look again?" Reluctantly, the doctor agrees to have another look. After a second check, the doctor looks up and says, "Sorry sister, they're not c**.... They're fruit flies, your cherry's gone bad!"

What does a farsighted gynecologist have in common with a puppy dog?

They both got a wet nose.

A Gynecologist walks into an exam room

Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"

What not to ask a gynecologist when seeking dating advice.

What do you look for in a woman?

One time I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist....

Unfortunately, I couldn't find any openings.....

A great cardiologist is being buried.

All of his colleagues and fellow surgeons are reunited to mourn his. All except for one man who is laughing. The cardiologist's coffin was in the shape of a heart to honor his career. The man continues to laugh. Finally they ask him why he is so happy at a f**... and he responds "I was picturing my f**... because I'm a gynecologist".

Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning?

He smelled a little fishy.

A blonde goes to her gynecologist...


A blonde goes to her gynecologist and tells the doctor that no matter how hard she and her husband have tried, she just can't get pregnant.
The doctor says, OK, t**... clothes and lay down on the table.
The blonde says, Um, all right. But I was really hoping to have my husband's baby.

A trip to the dentist

A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits down in the chair, pulls down her pants and spreads her legs. The dentist says to her, "I think you've got the wrong place. The gynecologist's office is upstairs." The woman says back, "No mistake. You put my husband's dentures in, and now you're gonna get them out."

A couple of newlyweds on were on their honeymoon and moments before the passionate love making commenced, the wife says to the husband, "Please, be gentle, I'm still a v**...."


The husband was shocked and replied, "How's this possible? You've been married *three* times before!"
The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, *god*, I miss him!"

You know how sometimes...

You know how sometimes even when you're not hungry you'll get tempted to eat something just because it's in front of you? 

Well, that's how I lost my job as a gynecologist.

A man and wife are lying in bed...

The man says "hey honey, do you want to make love?"
She says "normally I would, but I have an appointment with my gynecologist in the morning, and that seems like it would be g**...."
The man says "I understand" and rolls over.
After a few moments, the man rolls back over and asks "when's your next dentist appointment?"

A man from Oklahoma takes his daughter to the gynecologist...

He tells the doctor that he'd like to put her on birth-control pills. The doctor asks him how old she is.
"She's thirteen." the man says.
The doctor is somewhat startled, "That's seems a bit young, is she s**... active?"
The man replies, "Naw... she jus' lays there like 'er mother."

I wanted to be a gynecologist, but I failed medical school in the last semester.

I was so close I could taste it.

A gynecologist decides to make a career change...

He always loved cars, and because he made so much money, salary really didnt matter to him. He decides to become a mechanic. He approaches his local shop and inquires about a job. "You need to get certified first" says the head mechanic, "ill give you the test myself, in the shop."
The doctor studies day and night and finally feels ready for his practical exam.
He comes in and is asked to fix the transmission and engine of a beaten down, old car.
After the test, he is seated in the office and the head mechanic comes in.
"Congratulations doctor, you scored 150 out of 100 points"
"im confused" the doctor says, "how did i get 150 out of 100"
"well..." the mechanic says "you fixed the engine perfectly, so thats 50. You also fixed the transmission perfectly, for another 50"
"Great! But where did the last 50 come from?"
"I gave you a bonus. You did it all through the exhaust pipe"

What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist?

A pervert.

I asked my gynecologist what the medical term for queefing is...

Twatulence.

What Does a Gynecologist and a Pizza worker have in common?

They both get to smell it, but neither gets to eat it.

Whats a similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?

They both smell it, but they can't eat it.

Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: - Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have s**... for a three weeks...

Husband: And what did the dentist say?

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.

She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"

What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?

At your c**..., m'lady

A cardiologist died...

..and was given an elaborate f**.... A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own f**.....I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist

My wife told me "My gynecologist says I can't have s**... for two weeks"

I said "And what did your proctologist say?"

At the Hotel Bar...

A man was sitting at a hotel bar, when a group of men sat down next to him and ordered a round of drinks.
"You guys with a convention?"
"Yes, we're with the Gynecology conference"
"Really? I was this close" he holds up his finger and thumb about an inch apart "to becoming a Gynecologist."
"So what did you end up doing?"
"I'm a proctologist."

What do you call a gynecologist who really loves his job?

o**... Enthusiastic

An old lady goes to the dentist

Sits down, drops her pants, and lifts her legs. The dentist says "I'm not a gynecologist!" She says " l know, I just need my husbands teeth back!"

This doctor is so lucky

An E.N.T. Professor retired from college. In the farewell college faculty
gifted him a silver ear.
Thanking the faculty the professor said: Thank god I am not a gynecologist.

Three doctors are talking about death

The first, a dentist, says, When I die, I think I'd like my tombstone to be shaped like a tooth made of white marble.
Hey, adds the cardiologist, that's not a bad idea, I'd love my tombstone to be shaped as a heart…

The gynecologist is silent for a bit, then says, I think scattering of the ashes is my option.

A gynecologist decided to become a mechanic...

He graduated mechanic school with a 5.2 gpa and asked his teacher how that was possible.
The teacher said "Well, you aced the written exam thats half. Then you reassembled the motor perfectly, and we had to give you the extra credit when you did it all through the Muffler"!

My grandmother went to a gynecologist to check on hey cervical cancer.

The doctor says to my grandmother: "Now, Mrs. Smith, I'm going to insert my finger..."
My grandmother replies: "Can you put in two? I want a second opinion."

What's the best way to freak out your gynecologist?

Become a ventriloquist

Husband and wife get into bed for sleeping

And the husband turns to wife and starts making out.
Wife says "don't start now, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow morning so I need to keep it clean".
Husband disappointed, rolls around and tries to go to sleep.
In a few minutes, he rolls back and asks "do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow too?"

A famous heart surgeon died and everyone was gathered at his f**.... A coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone had paid their respects, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him said, control yourself man.
I'm sorry, he replied, I was thinking about my own f**....
What's so funny about that?
I'm a gynecologist.

Why do females prefer old gynecologists?

Their hands shake.

Yesterday I saw a car with a boot sticker saying, I'm a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal.

It was at that moment that I suddenly realized just how many gynecologists there are on the roads.

I asked my gynecologist what he looks for in a girl.

He told me he's married and to stop coming to his house.

Private investigator

(At a fancy diner with wife and her friend)
Wife's friend: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a private investigator
Wife: Kieth, you're allowed to say gynecologist
Me: People are eating, Linda!

The Cardiologist's f**...

A renowned cardiologist passed away, and all his friends from the same hospital attended his f**.... In order to pay tribute to his profession and his passion, he was buried in a coffin shaped like a heart.
After the service, it was noticed that one of the doctors was smiling. When asked why, he said "Oh, I'm just imagining my own f**.... I'm a gynecologist, you see."

So there were a group of guys drinking at a bar...

When another customer leaned over and asked what they were celebrating.
"My buddy here is going to be a Doctor!"
"Really? What specialty?"
"He's going to be a gynecologist!"
"Really? I was this close to being a gynecologist!" He said, holding his fingers about an inch apart.
"What did you end up doing?"
"I'm a proctologist."

How many gynecologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I'm asking because mine had to call like six other guys in to help him, and I'm really starting to wonder why I needed one installed down there in the first place.

My first husband was a gynecologist ...

My first husband was a gynecologist.
All he wanted was to look.
My second husband was a philatelist.
My God, do I miss him.

My friend always tells everyone that he's a private investigator,

but within our group of friends we know he's just a gynecologist.

In a room full of doctors how do you recognize the gynecologist ?

It's the one with the watch on his elbow

What's the difference between a hired detective and a Gynecologist?

Ones a Private Investigator, the others a Privates Investigator

A lady goes to a gynecologist for a routine exam

She gets into the gown and positions herself into the stirrups. When the doctor comes in, he tells her that the exam may be painful and asked if she would like to be numbed. Afraid of the pain, she replies, please. The doctor says okay, this will just take a minute . The doctor puts on his gloves, lifts up her gown, begins to put his head between her legs and goes numb numb numb numb...

Why do women prefer older Gynecologists?

Their shaky hands!

My dad got fired for taking me to work.

Apparently, Bring Your Kid to Work Day doesn't apply to gynecologists!

A wife has a gynecologist appointment tomorrow

A husband and wife were lying in bed. Getting in the mood, he started caressing her to turn her on.
"Sorry," she said, "I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to make sure I'm fresh and undisturbed before she inspects me."
He rolled over, feeling a little disappointed.
A moment later, he rolls back over and says, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?"

You know that urge to eat something just because it's there?

That's why I'm not a gynecologist.

What does a gynecologist have in common with a census taker?

They both make their living checking boxes.

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a gynecologist?

**A pickpocket snatches watches...**

What do a puppy and a near sighted gynecologist have in common?

They Both have a wet nose.

The gynecologist down the street is selling the upper floors of his practice...

...He only works in the downstairs area anyway...

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common?

It's okay to smell it, but if you eat it you're gonna get fired.

Cocktail

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "bartender, got any specials today?" Bartender answers, "yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink invented by a gynecologist patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff v**...." The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?" The bartender replied, "It's a "Pabst Smir.

A gynecologist is just like a pizza delivery guy

They both get to smell it but they can't eat it.

A gynecologist decides it's time to hung up his speculum.

A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly," the teacher said, "50 points for putting it back together correctly -- and an extra 100 points for doing it all through the muffler."

Gynecologist joke, A gynecologist decides it's time to hung up his speculum.

jokes about gynecologist