Gym Jokes

167 gym jokes and hilarious gym puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gym that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get pumped with jokes about gym class, teacher and junkies, that every gym bro can learn and tell while workout. Maybe you need something funny to relax and get motivation for New Year's resolutions. Fortunate you are that we have lifting joke, weight loss one liners and many other gym related jokes.

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Short Gym Jokes
Gym One Liners
Gym Membership Jokes
Gym Teacher Jokes
Gym Bro Jokes
Bad Gym Jokes
More Gym Jokes

Best Short Gym Jokes

Short gym puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gym humour may include short workout jokes also.

I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then I didn't show. I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.
A 40 year old man asked the Trainer in the Gym, 'I want to Impress Beautiful Girls, which Machine should I use?' The Trainer replied, 'Outside the Gym, there is an ATM. Try that'
I planned a date with this girl at the gym today, but she didn't show up that's when I knew we weren't gonna work out
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women He said the atm outside
I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not. I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"
I don't know why I broke up with my girl at the gym... I guess we just weren't working out.
Why did the chicken go to the gym? To build up it's pecs.
(apologies in advance. I made this up).
I just quit my job at the gym because I wasn't big or strong enough I've handed in my too weak notice
I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds! The only problem is I'm British...
The guys at the gym called me a fat loser ... It's really great how they notice my effort.

Gym joke, The guys at the gym called me a fat <a href="/loser-jokes.html" title="Loser jokes">loser</a> ...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about gym can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of gym puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Gym One Liners

Which gym one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gym? I can suggest the ones about fitness and exercise.

This idiot on the treadmill at the gym. Just put a water bottle in the Pringles holder.
I signed up for a gym membership this year. So far I've managed to lose £200.
I just joined a gym for religious minorities. Jehova's Fitness
Why do some couples not go to the gym? Some relationships don't work out...
Why doesn't where's Waldo go to the gym Because no one can spot him
I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today That's 7 years in a row now
I proposed to my girlfriend at the gym and she said "no." I guess it didn't workout.
I have Abs olutely wasted my gym membership.
Elton John bought his pet rabbit to the gym... "It's a little fit bunny...."
I go to the gym so infrequently I still call it James
Got fired from my job at the gym... Apparently I just wasn't working out.
Finally I am the hottest guy in my gym. I have 102 °F fever.
I do resistance training every day It's called refusing to go to the gym
Just got a repressed memory foam mattress, it holds me just like my gym teacher did
Gym bro #1: "Bro, we're out of protein powder." Gym bro #2: "No whey..."

Gym Membership Jokes

Here is a list of funny gym membership jokes and even better gym membership puns that will make you laugh with friends.

My bank just called me about suspicious activity on my account. They didn't believe I bought a gym membership.
It was a real pain canceling my gym membership. They made me hand in a too weak notice.
I decided to cancel my gym membership today... ...just didn't work out.
My wife and I are arguing about getting gym memberships It's a healthy debate
Expensive Gym Membership My gym membership costs $120 a year.
That's pretty steep considering it's $60 a visit
I just cancelled my gym membership It wasn't working out.
I just cancelled my gym membership I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
Today, I learned that some people are disgusted that others pee in the shower I don't think it was necessary to cancel my gym membership over it though.
My gym membership costs $120 a year. That's pretty steep considering it's $60 a visit
Not feeling creative? Open up a gym membership and see how many excuses you can come up with not to go.

Gym Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny gym teacher jokes and even better gym teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?'
I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'
In eight grade my gym teacher gave me a D. That's how I got an A.
A young boy goes to his father and says "Dad, I think my gym teacher is gay". His father says "Why do think that?"
The boy responds "Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."
I said to my gym teacher How often would I have to come in here to learn to do the splits. He said it depends how flexible are you? I said well I can't do mondays.
What did the priest do to the possessed gym teacher? He exorcised.
My gym teacher was shouting at me like Power comes from the legs! I know you can do it! It felt really bad as I was standing on a ledge on the 31st floor.
If a "cougar" is an older woman who is into younger men, what do you call an older woman who is into younger women? a gym teacher
Kid 1: My gym teacher swam half way across the English channel but had to turn back Kid 2: Why only half way?
Kid 1: Well he was became tired.
The last words of my gym teacher: "All spears to me!"
The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun, and the principal gets an u**.... What do they arm the lunch lady with? A salt rifle

Gym Bro Jokes

Here is a list of funny gym bro jokes and even better gym bro puns that will make you laugh with friends.

A meathead is counting loudly in the gym as he does bench press... 1! 3! 5! 7! 9!
Another meathead:
Do you even lift bro
Meathead: Nah I only odd lift bro
I saw a dude ordering an Uber as he left the gym so I asked him, "Do you even Lyft, bro?"
What did the gym bro tell his gf who was mad at him? Babe I'm sorry I just want us to work out
Two Chameleons walk in a gym. The first one says Spot me, bro
The second goes Who said that?
What did the gym guy say to his unfit bro with manboobs? You can do a push up brah!
I went to the gym today and my friend asked me how I got there. I told him I used Uber. He asked me if I even Lyft bro.
what does an informational packet say when asked for a spot at the gym? Bro, sure.
Guy at the gym tried selling me fake steroids... Bro, do you even grift?
Hey bro, how did you get so strong? By picking up chicks in the gym

Bad Gym Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad gym jokes and even better bad gym puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What's the instinctual response to a bad gym selfie? A reflex of course.
TIL: The last time Roy Moore went to the gym, he noticed a hole in his new trainer big enough to put a finger in... ...Too bad she made a formal complaint.
How to spot a d**... in the gym? Really bad so he hurts himself.

Gym joke, How to spot a d**... in the gym?

Cheerful Gym Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about gym you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean health jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make gym prank.

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy.

The guy takes off his shirt she says, "Oh what chest!"
"That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby."
Then he takes off his pants she says, "Oh what legs!''
He says, "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby."
After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says, "Why were you running?"
She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

I was suspicious or my girlffriend cheating on me with this guy from her gym. So i pick up her phone at night when she's sleeping ..

...and drive to this dude's place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects

At the gym

I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out, I ask the guy who is running the gym, Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies? He smiles says Try the ATM in the lobby .

Child: Dad I want to be a plumber when I grow up

Dad: That's a very low goal. Have some ambition

Child: How about being a doctor?
Dad: That's right!
Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....

Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?

Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym.

After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.
One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"
The other said, "What for?"

I regret joining the gym recently..

leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds

A man takes off his shirt in the gym.

A blonde comes up to him and says, wow what a great chest you have! The man replies, Thats one hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes off his pants. The blonde says, Wow! What great calf's you have! The man then replies, that's two hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes of his underwear. The blonde runs off screaming in fear. When the man catches up to her he asks, Why did you run away? The blonde replies, I didn't wanna be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!

A new gym opened near me. They are currently going door to door signing up new members.

It's called Jehovah's Fitness.

I'v been a gym member for 6 months without any progress...

I think I need to go personally to see what 's going on

Today is my first day at the gym.

I walk in and see a bunch of hot women working out. I walk up to the guy who is running the gym and ask him, " Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies over there?" He smiles at me and says, " Try the ATM Machine in the lobby."

A blonde girl called Jenny came skipping home after school.

"Mommy mommy! Today in school, everyone else only counted to 5, but I counted to 10!"
The mom replies, "That's great honey!"
Jenny then asks, "Is it because I'm blonde?"
"Yes sweetie" says the mom.
The next day, Jenny comes home skipping and calling out "Mommy mommy! Today after gym class, everyone was taking a shower and had flat chests! While I had these!"
Jenny lifts her tank top to reveal a pair of 36C's. "Is it because I'm blonde?"
Embarrassed, the mom replies, "No honey, it's because you're 24"

It's been 6 months since I joined the gym and no progress

I'm going there in-person to see what's going on

Why did the priest go to the gym?

For muscle mass.
I thought of this one in the shower this morning.

After playing racquetball at the gym, two guys hit the shower and were getting changed...

and the first guy was putting on a bra. The second guy looked surprised and asked "How long have you been wearing a bra?" The first guy answers "Ever since my wife found it under the bed".

I asked my trainer "Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine"

Bench Bros...

Two guys are in the gym working on their bench pressing when a b**... coed comes up to the rack next to them and begins to do her workout. o**... turns to his spotter and says "hey you think that's a push up bra?" And his spotter says "nah brah, that's a squat"

I'm starting a new business tomorrow.

It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.
I'm calling it, "Resolutions."

I just saw some idiot at the gym.

He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today.

She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.

I'll e**... myself out.

I just opened up a gym where my entire staff asks you a series of annoying questions every so often for the length of your stay.

Welcome to Jehovah's Fitness.

Marriage

Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*

I exercise religiously

I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week.

An old man goes to the gym...

An old man goes to the gym and asks a trainer, "I want to impress young beautiful girls. What's the best machine I can use?"
The trainer responds, "The ATM"

There's a new machine at my gym. Used it for an hour and felt sick.

It's really good though, does everything! Kit Kats, Snickers, Milky Ways. The lot.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up.

I guess we aren't going to work out.

When I was at the gym, I asked the trainer, which is the best machine to hit to attract a woman?

He pointed outside and said The ATM

The police were called to a female gym...

The female manager ran out to greet the two male officers as they exited their vehicle.
Please, come quickly. She said in horror, We've found a peep hole drilled into the changing room. Some pervert has been watching us!
Don't worry, the policeman said reassuringly, We'll track down the suspect right away. Please tell all the ladies to go back to their exercising. There's nothing to worry about anymore.
The gym manager nodded, relieved, And what about the hole in the wall?
Rest assured The other police officer said, We'll be looking into it

Overheard this one from some old guys getting changed at my local gym.

"So I go to the pharmacy and ask the guy if they have any Viagara. The guy there says yes, so I ask if they work and he replies 'you bet'. So next I ask "can I get it over the counter" to which he replies 'if you take two' "

A man was trapped under a bench press

A man in the gym was at the bench press when the barbell fell on top of him. Despite them being strong, no one could lift the barbell off of him so the man that was trapped tells someone to call a therapist which they do. When the therapist arrives, he asks the man why he called him and the man says "I need to get something off my chest"

Went to the gym earlier, and while working out I noticed a hole in my trainer... just big enough to get my finger in.

Anyway....she filed a formal complaint and I'm banned for life

There's a new machine at my gym.

I used it, but after an hour I started feeling sick...
It's got Snickers, cheetos, Peanuts... Everything!

I asked a fitness trainer at my local gym what would be the best machine to use in order to impress girls

Apparently it's the ATM machine at my local bank.

Best Way To Impress a Girl..

Boy To Gym Coach: "I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?" Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

Floyd Mayweather won because of an unfair advantage.

He gets to practice in the gym all day and then goes home and practices on his family.

Going to the gym must be really paying off.

Everytime I leave the room I hear people say 'what an a**...'.

New machine at the gym

There is a new machine at the gym. It's truly awesome! I almost puked after an hour, it really has it all.
Cookies, chocolate bars, chips, sodas.

Why do uber drivers skip the gym?

Because they don't even lyft.

Google+ is like the gym of social networking.

We all join it, but nobody uses it.

A man asks a trainer in the gym

I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? Trainer answers, use the ATM

What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?

The ATM

My favorite machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

My first time in the gym went really well!

I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and 3 days in hospital!

My sister came home today and said "they have this great new machine at the gym.."

"it's got Malteasers, Twix, sodas, you name it!!"

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?

He said, Try the ATM outside.

Kindergarten Blonde

A blond girl comes home from her first day of kindergarten and says "most of the kids can count to 10, but I can count to 20. Is that because I'm a blond?"
Her mom says"yes dear, it's because you're a blond."
The next day the girl comes home and says "today we had to do our ABC's." Most of the kids only got half way, but I knew them all. Is that because I'm a blond, mom?"
"Yes dear, it's because you're a blond."
The following day the girl comes home and says "we had gym today and I noticed I'm more physically advanced than the others. . Is that because I'm a blond, mom?"
Her mom says " no dear. It's because you're 24."

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

I went to a posh school.

In fact it was so posh, their gym was called James.

Guy walks into a gym

He asks the manager which machine he could use that would attract the most women.
The manager points to the ATM.

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting.
*sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

There was a new machine at the gym...

After using it for 30 minutes, I felt sick. Maybe I bought too many chocolate bars...

Why was Sarah smiling at the gym?

Because Sarah tonin

I've been squatting at the gym.

I sleep in one of the lockers. So far I haven't been busted.

I'm like a ninja at the gym

Cause you'll never see me there

A man walks into a gym and kills everyone there brutally

After the investigation, the police state that the victims could only be described as ripped and shredded

Three women are changing at the gym when a man wearing nothing but a ski mask enters the changeroom and starts dancing in front of the women.

The first woman looks at the man and says, "I don't know who this guy is, but he isn't my husband!"
The second woman takes a closer look at the man. Then she turns to the first woman and says, "You are right. He isn't your husband."
The third woman takes an even closer look and says, "He's not even a member of this gym."

Gym joke, Three women are changing at the gym when a man wearing nothing but a ski mask enters the changeroom

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these gym jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.