gym Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious gym puns

I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then I didn't show.

I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.

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Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year's resolution was.

She said "Fuck you".

So I'm pretty excited for 2019.

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Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her New Year's resolution was.

She said "fuck you". So i'm pretty excited about 2017.

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Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her new year resolutions were.

She said ยซFuck youยป. So im pretty excited for 2018

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A 40 year old man asked the Trainer in the Gym, 'I want to Impress Beautiful Girls, which Machine should I use?'

The Trainer replied, 'Outside the Gym, there is an ATM. Try that'

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This idiot on the treadmill at the gym.

Just put a water bottle in the Pringles holder.

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I signed up for a gym membership this year.

So far I've managed to lose ยฃ200.

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I just joined a gym for religious minorities.

Jehova's Fitness

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Why do some couples not go to the gym?

Some relationships don't work out...

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I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not.

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

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I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today

That's 7 years in a row now

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I don't know why I broke up with my girl at the gym...

I guess we just weren't working out.

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At the gym

I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out, I ask the guy who is running the gym, Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies? He smiles says Try the ATM in the lobby .

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Child: Dad I want to be a plumber when I grow up

Dad: That's a very low goal. Have some ambition

Child: How about being a doctor?

Dad: That's right!

Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....

Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?

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I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds!

The only problem is I'm British...

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The guys at the gym called me a fat loser ...

It's really great how they notice my effort.

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I have Abs

olutely wasted my gym membership.

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Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym.

After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.

One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"

The other said, "What for?"

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I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today.

That's seven years in a row now.

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I regret joining the gym recently..

leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds

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I'v been a gym member for 6 months without any progress...

I think I need to go personally to see what 's going on

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Today is my first day at the gym.

I walk in and see a bunch of hot women working out. I walk up to the guy who is running the gym and ask him, " Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies over there?" He smiles at me and says, " Try the ATM Machine in the lobby."

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"My vagina is like the local gym," said my wife.

"What?" I asked. "Hot and sweaty?"

"No," she replied. "Only a few members use it regularly."

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Why did the priest go to the gym?

For muscle mass.

I thought of this one in the shower this morning.

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I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today

That's six years in a row now

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Today i asked this hot girl at my gym what her new years resolution was...

She said "fuck you" so I'm pretty excited about 2018

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I told my girlfriend to meet me at the gym but I didn't go

I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.

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I asked my trainer "Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine"

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Bench Bros...

Two guys are in the gym working on their bench pressing when a busty coed comes up to the rack next to them and begins to do her workout. One guy turns to his spotter and says "hey you think that's a push up bra?" And his spotter says "nah brah, that's a squat"

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Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance

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I go to the gym so infrequently

I still call it James

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Got fired from my job at the gym...

Apparently I just wasn't working out.

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Finally I am the hottest guy in my gym.

I have 102 ยฐF fever.

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I exercise religiously

I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week.

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Marriage

Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*

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What are the most funny Gym jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Gym? Well, here are the best Gym dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Gym pick up lines to share with friends.

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