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I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.
The Trainer replied, 'Outside the Gym, there is an ATM. Try that'
that's when I knew we weren't gonna work out
Just put a water bottle in the Pringles holder.
So far I've managed to lose £200.
Jehova's Fitness
Some relationships don't work out...
I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"
Because no one can spot him
That's 7 years in a row now
I guess we just weren't working out.
You can explore gym exercise reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gym gymnastic dad jokes. There are also gym puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
...and drive to this dude's place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects
I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out, I ask the guy who is running the gym, Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies? He smiles says Try the ATM in the lobby .
To build up it's pecs.
(apologies in advance. I made this up).
Dad: That's a very low goal. Have some ambition
Child: How about being a doctor?
Dad: That's right!
Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....
Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?
I've handed in my too weak notice
I guess it didn't workout.
The only problem is I'm British...
It's really great how they notice my effort.
olutely wasted my gym membership.
After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.
One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"
The other said, "What for?"
leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds
"It's a little fit bunny...."
A blonde comes up to him and says, wow what a great chest you have! The man replies, Thats one hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes off his pants. The blonde says, Wow! What great calf's you have! The man then replies, that's two hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes of his underwear. The blonde runs off screaming in fear. When the man catches up to her he asks, Why did you run away? The blonde replies, I didn't wanna be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!
I think I need to go personally to see what 's going on
I walk in and see a bunch of hot women working out. I walk up to the guy who is running the gym and ask him, " Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies over there?" He smiles at me and says, " Try the ATM Machine in the lobby."
I'm going there in-person to see what's going on
For muscle mass.
I thought of this one in the shower this morning.
He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine"
Two guys are in the gym working on their bench pressing when a busty coed comes up to the rack next to them and begins to do her workout. One guy turns to his spotter and says "hey you think that's a push up bra?" And his spotter says "nah brah, that's a squat"
It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.
I'm calling it, "Resolutions."
Guess I should've prepared whey in advance
He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
I still call it James
She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
I'll escort myself out.
Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*
Apparently I just wasn't working out.
I have 102 °F fever.
I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week.
An old man goes to the gym and asks a trainer, "I want to impress young beautiful girls. What's the best machine I can use?"
The trainer responds, "The ATM"
It's really good though, does everything! Kit Kats, Snickers, Milky Ways. The lot.
I guess we aren't going to work out.
He pointed outside and said The ATM
The female manager ran out to greet the two male officers as they exited their vehicle.
Please, come quickly. She said in horror, We've found a peep hole drilled into the changing room. Some pervert has been watching us!
Don't worry, the policeman said reassuringly, We'll track down the suspect right away. Please tell all the ladies to go back to their exercising. There's nothing to worry about anymore.
The gym manager nodded, relieved, And what about the hole in the wall?
Rest assured The other police officer said, We'll be looking into it
"So I go to the pharmacy and ask the guy if they have any Viagara. The guy there says yes, so I ask if they work and he replies 'you bet'. So next I ask "can I get it over the counter" to which he replies 'if you take two' "
A man in the gym was at the bench press when the barbell fell on top of him. Despite them being strong, no one could lift the barbell off of him so the man that was trapped tells someone to call a therapist which they do. When the therapist arrives, he asks the man why he called him and the man says "I need to get something off my chest"
Anyway....she filed a formal complaint and I'm banned for life
I used it, but after an hour I started feeling sick...
It's got Snickers, cheetos, Peanuts... Everything!
Apparently it's the ATM machine at my local bank.
It's called refusing to go to the gym
They didn't believe I bought a gym membership.
Boy To Gym Coach: "I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?" Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"
it holds me just like my gym teacher did
He gets to practice in the gym all day and then goes home and practices on his family.
There is a new machine at the gym. It's truly awesome! I almost puked after an hour, it really has it all.
Cookies, chocolate bars, chips, sodas.
Because they don't even lyft.
Gym bro #2: "No whey..."
We all join it, but nobody uses it.
I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? Trainer answers, use the ATM
The ATM
The vending machine.
I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and 3 days in hospital!
"it's got Malteasers, Twix, sodas, you name it!!"
He said, Try the ATM outside.
A blond girl comes home from her first day of kindergarten and says "most of the kids can count to 10, but I can count to 20. Is that because I'm a blond?"
Her mom says"yes dear, it's because you're a blond."
The next day the girl comes home and says "today we had to do our ABC's." Most of the kids only got half way, but I knew them all. Is that because I'm a blond, mom?"
"Yes dear, it's because you're a blond."
The following day the girl comes home and says "we had gym today and I noticed I'm more physically advanced than the others. . Is that because I'm a blond, mom?"
Her mom says " no dear. It's because you're 24."
Diddly squat
In fact it was so posh, their gym was called James.
He asks the manager which machine he could use that would attract the most women.
The manager points to the ATM.
Because there is a lot of weighting.
*sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.
After using it for 30 minutes, I felt sick. Maybe I bought too many chocolate bars...
Because Sarah tonin
I sleep in one of the lockers. So far I haven't been busted.
Cause you'll never see me there
After the investigation, the police state that the victims could only be described as ripped and shredded
The first woman looks at the man and says, "I don't know who this guy is, but he isn't my husband!"
The second woman takes a closer look at the man. Then she turns to the first woman and says, "You are right. He isn't your husband."
The third woman takes an even closer look and says, "He's not even a member of this gym."
For one, they've fixed the water cooler.
She replied, "to get people on reddit to quit repeating the same stupid joke."
I guess the two of us aren't going to work out after all.
Long story short, she filed a complaint and I'm banned for life.
It's a great idea in theory, but I'm still trying to work out the kinks.
changing into their running outfits. One lady notices her friend's tummy and asks: "Sara, why is there wax in your belly button?" Sara says, "Oh, you'll never believe how romantic my boyfriend can be. He just loves to eat by candlelight."
But it didn't work out
Hopefully, she'll realize the two of us are not going to work out.
There's an Olympic sports doctor there 24/7.
But it isn't working out.
But the only thing I exercise is my right to bare arms.
Couldn't help but wonder if he skips on leg day.
A salt rifle
He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital.
As they undressed beforehand, the first man was stunned to see the second wearing a corset beneath his shirt.
"Since when have you started wearing that?" asked the first man.
The second man replied "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment."
It was great... it had M&M's, Skittles, you name it!
..having sex with her gym trainer
I told her this isnt working out.
In her defense, she said it was her cheat day.
You call it James
Turns out they do not have kickboxing classes.
Didn't work out.
What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone?
You skip them both.
He said, hey...what's your secret?
I said, I poo with the door open
Really bad so he hurts himself.
...she calls it James
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gym pilates jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working gym gymnasiumtreadmill piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.