Guru Jokes
24 guru jokes and hilarious guru puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about guru that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Guru jokes are humorous stories that relate to instances of faith, gratitude, and expertise. Whether it be about a love guru, an expert paru n guru, or a special guru purnima, these jokes often highlight the importance of following an enlightened master. Enjoy a laugh with these guru jokes and share with friends.
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Funniest Guru Short Jokes
Short guru jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The guru humour may include short yogi jokes also.
- Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth? The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication
- A man asked a wise Guru: "What is the secret to eternal happiness?" The wise Guru answered: "To not argue with fools."
The man says: "I disagree."
The wise Guru replied: "Yes, you are right." - I'm tired of explaining to my spiritual Guru how E-mails work. He can't just understand what attachments are!
- How do you call an australian who is a spiritual leader and a ruler in mongolia ? A Khan Guru
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Guru One Liners
Which guru one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with guru? I can suggest the ones about professor and tutor.
- Where does the guru go after a long day of work? Hooooommmmmmmmmmmmme
- What do you do when a yoga guru goes missing? Nothing. They'll find themself.
- Why did the guru look down upon his students? They couldn't levitate.
- What do you say to the skateboarding Guru? Hey, that trick was really Sikh!
- What do you call a giant, green, bloated space alien? Super Kami Guru.
- Futurologist guru Alvin Toffler has died at the age of 87. Which came as no surprise.
- Where does a guru get his sandwiches? New Delhi
- What did the conformist say to the Guru? You make me Sikh!
Uproarious Guru Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about guru you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean instructor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make guru pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to ask the great guru, "Which is better, large b**... or small b**...?"
The great guru asks him "How much money do you have in bills in your wallet?"
The man quickly counts the money. "Thirty dollars."
"And if you had thirty dollars in coins," said the guru, "which would have the greater mass- the coins or the bills?"
"The coins of course."
"But which would have the greater value?"
At this moment, the man was enlightened.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An attractive young woman goes to a mystic guru
An attractive young woman goes to a mystic guru and says: Oh great guru, please cure me of my ailment guruji! As the woman was attractive, the mystic guru said I will cure you my child, but as token of you gratitude, you must go to bed with me.
She agreed, and the guru had the best s**... of his life with the woman.
Then the guru asked Tell me, my child. what is your ailment? . I have AIDS replied the woman.
Guru asks disciple - If there were two bags in front of you and I tell you one has money and the other has wisdom, which would you take?
Disciple: I would take the bag with the money.
Guru: (Sarcastic Laugh) I would take the bag with the wisdom.
Disciple: Each one takes what he doesn't have.
polygon
the guru was happily teaching math to the students at his home. He said
"5 sides --> pentagon"
"6 sides -->hexagon"
"8 sides -->octagon"
.....then suddenly, the guru got a sudden heart attack, he fell onto the ground making a loud "thud" sound and died on the spot. Hearing the sound, his wife came running from the other room and asked "what happened ?"
Guess what the students said ?
"--> gurugon"
Three gurus on top of a mountain sit in meditation.
One of them opens his eyes and whispers "Life...", then closes his eyes and keeps on meditating.
Seasons come and go, twenty years pass, then the second guru opens his eyes and whispers "...is suffering...". Then stops suddenly and dives deep into meditation again.
After another twenty years of meditation the third guru opens his eyes and says "C'mon guys, are we here for chitchat????"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Spiritual guru met a p**... in forest
the p**... asked if he wanted to have s**... with her. The guru agreed and they have the wildest s**....
After both of them get dressed, the Guru starts walking away from her. The p**... stops him and asks..
p**...: "money?"
Guru: "C'mon, I won't take money from you"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Terrible one-liner I came up with while on autopilot at work.
I'm not saying I'm a s**... guru, but I know most of the ins and outs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tourist: "Guru, what's the secret of happiness?"
Tourist: "Guru, what's the secret of happiness?"
Guru: "Don't argue with s**... people."
Tourist: "That's nonsense."
Guru: "You are right."
