Gur Jokes
95 gur jokes and hilarious gur puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gur that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Gur Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good gur joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I've developed a f**... for figuring things out.
I just came to that realization.
A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital.
He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.
Am I in heaven? asks the disoriented priest.
No says one of the nurses. We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward.
I once stayed up all night trying figure out where the sun went
Then it dawned on me
I'm seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife…
But I'm pretty sure she'll figure out I'm just after my money.
If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would you choose?
"Gandhi."
Why him?
"More food for me."
I've have got this weird f**... for figuring things out.
Matter of fact I just came to that realization.
I have a friend who always subtly mentions that he went to MIT
I simply hate his behavior. He'd somehow figure out a way to drop it into a conversation just to let people know he's an MIT alumni.
He's always been like this. Even when we were in college together.
When I asked my daughter what she wanted for dinner, she said with a straight face, "uncooked boys."
Ramen. Took me second, but I was much relieved when I figured it out.
My girlfriend has an onlyfans account and it's doing really well
I just have to figure out how to break the news to her
Whoever coined the phrase dad bod missed a golden opportunity...
Should've called it "the Father-figure"
Lots of guys aren't too happy with getting a "dad bod" eventually in life. But I'd say im pretty excited for it
Because it's the closest thing I'm gonna get to having a father figure in my life
They said that my dad was gay.
Now I am trying to figure out which one.
A lawyer dies, and somehow manages to go to heaven
When he gets there, he's greeted by St. Peter himself. The lawyer says, "What happened? I wasn't in an accident and I'm too young to die. I'm only 52!"
St. Peter says, "Nope, by our records, you are 84, and that's a pretty good life."
The lawyer yells, "84! How did you figure that?"
St. Peter responds, "We added up your client billing time sheets."
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting p**....
My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn't heard before.
My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.
Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"
Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."
Doesn't have a clue why I was laughing so hard.
After making love to my wife last night, she told me I had a body built for sin
12 hours later, I still can't figure out if she meant Gluttony or Sloth
Wife: Now that we've been married 20 years, how old do you think I look, honestly?
Husband: From your skin I'd say 28, from your hair 25, from your figure 29.
Wife: Oh, what a lovely thing to say.
Husband: Hang on, I haven't finished adding it up yet.
A man goes to ask the great guru, "Which is better, large b**... or small b**...?"
The great guru asks him "How much money do you have in bills in your wallet?"
The man quickly counts the money. "Thirty dollars."
"And if you had thirty dollars in coins," said the guru, "which would have the greater mass- the coins or the bills?"
"The coins of course."
"But which would have the greater value?"
At this moment, the man was enlightened.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure?
A waist of time.
What's the difference between the USA and yogurt?
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.
I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".
"Is that your real name?", she asked.
I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."
An IQ below 70 qualifies you for having an intellectual disability
Now I just need to figure out if that's in Celcius or Fahrenheit
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