The Best 9 Gunshot Wounds Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Gunshot Wounds jokes. There are some gunshot wounds jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gunshot wounds puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Gunshot Wounds Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the 80 year old woman that tried to kill herself?

She was told that the most effective way would be to shoot herself through the heart, just below her left breast... She woke up in hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Police talking on the radio...

* Sergeant, we've arrived at the scene.
* So, what's the situation?
* A woman killed her husband. There were 35 stab wounds, two gunshot wounds, and after decapitating him, she finally burned his body.
* Wow, what was the reason she gave for the crime?
* He stepped where she was cleaning the floor.
* Did you manage to capture the woman?
* No, Sergeant. We are waiting for the floor to dry ...

Back in the civil war, gunshot wounds used to be the most gruesome, awful way to die.

Now it's considered kid stuff.

What do you call a Mexican golfer with a gunshot wound?

Hole in Juan.

Where did the stalker go when he took multiple gunshot wounds to the abdomen?

The ICU


I was at the farm with my friend when we chanced upon a cow with multiple gunshot wound

My friend looked up and said "holy cow"

Achy breaky heart.

At the age of 98, Mildred was distraught to be left a widow. She decided to ended it all with her husband's revolver and join him in death. To make sure she did it properly she called the doctor and asked exactly where the heart is located. The doctor replied that the heart is just below the left breast. Hearing that she took the revolver and placed it on the spot and fired. Half an hour later she was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound-to her left knee.

My horse broke it's leg and my dad told me to shoot it...

Now my horse has a broken leg and a gunshot wound.

Thanks Dad, those medical bills are gonna go through the roof.

Sheriffs discover a dead black man in the woods...

... with 75 stab wounds and 36 gunshots to the chest. Sheriffs report it as the worst suicide they've ever seen.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gunshot wounds jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working gunshot wounds piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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