Comical Gunpoint Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
A Canadian visits America and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger
The stranger says, "give me all your money and I'll let you live!"
The Canadian replies gleefully, "Oh! You must be what they call a doctor!"
How did Kanye find out that Kim was bound, gagged, and held at gunpoint?
She released the video on pornhub.
(Too soon?)
t**... holding dad at gunpoint-
t**...: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
t**...: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
t**...: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
t**...: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
t**...: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"
A mugger holds a man at gunpoint and says, "Give me your wallet or you're science!"
The man says, "Don't you mean history?"
The mugger yells, "Don't try to change the subject!"
Did you hear about that time a hitman held a writer at gunpoint and forced him to write for Amy Schumer?
The hitman warned him, Don't get any funny ideas!
A thief entered a house one mid-afternoon to find...
a couple in the middle of l**.... He t**... the woman and at gun-point asked the man to handover all their money and jewellery. The man started sobbing and said, "Brother, take anything you want. But please, untie the rope and let her go." The thief replied, "You must really love your wife, having no regard for your own safety." The man said, "No, she's my neighbour's wife. Mine will be back shortly!"
A robber breaks into a house to see a n**... couple at it......
He quickly ties them up at gunpoint and goes around the whole house collecting all the valuables, when the t**... man pleads "Please untie her and let her go, you can keep me t**... for as long as you want"
"Do u love you your wife that much? "
"No!" sighs the man "she's the neighbours wife........... it's nearly time for my wife to return from work!!"
home invader
A home invader breaks into a house and finds a couple in the bedroom and holds them at gunpoint.
The owner points to the woman and says, "You have to let her go right now.
You can have all the money and jewelry in the house, you can have my credit card and car keys.
You can even shoot me but you have to let her go right now." The gunman says,
"You must really love your wife."
"Yes and she will be home in 20 minutes."
When I was younger, I always heard of people getting robbed at gunpoint.
If there's been so many robberies, why do people keep going to gunpoint?
A robber enters a house and holds the wife at gunpoint and threatens the husband to hand over all the money and jewellery..
The husband sobs " Please take whatever you want, but leave her alone" .
Robber : " Wow you must really love your wife ".
Husband " Actually she is my neighbour's wife. Mine will come back from shopping any minute" .
Two friends Sam and Terry are spending the day together
As they are walking home down an empty street they find themselves at gunpoint with a mugger asking for their wallets.
As they take out their wallets Sam says "One sec" He takes a 20 out of his wallet and gives it to Terry
"Here's the 20 I owe you"
You can explore gunpoint robbery reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gunpoint stickup dad jokes. There are also gunpoint puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What if...
What if you were being held at gunpoint by a literate animal (bear with me), and your only hope of escaping (BEAR WITH ME) was by posting a coded message
Drive through counter was being robbed...
While she was held at gunpoint, a cop car shows up at the counter.
Cops : Can we have 2 burgers.
Lady : give the burgers casually and passes a note that says "we have two armed men inside"
Cops : *reads the note* ofcourse they are two armed, how can one armed men make burgers O__o
When the robber tried to rob a board game store at gunpoint..
He was asking for trouble
An Italian man is kidnapped by the mafia…
An Italian man is kidnapped by the mafia, who want him to tell them where his company's money is hidden. They put him in a chair at gunpoint and demand the location, but he won't tell them a single word.
After a while, the mafia members decide that he isn't going to be of any use to them, so they kill him.
At the gates of heaven, god asks the Italian why he didn't just give them the information they needed, and that he probably would still be alive if he had.
The Italian responds, How could I? Those rascals had t**... my hands!
A gangster approaches someone that has information and draws a gun on him.
"Okay, here's how it works," the gangster said. "You have information, and I want that information. So when I ask a question, you answer truthfully, and you may walk out of here alive."
"Ok, shoot" the man at gunpoint said.
A friend of mine told me he's been robbed at gunpoint three times.
I said "What are you, an idiot? Just stop going there."
A nihilist was robbed at gunpoint.
Nothing of value was stolen.
With so many crimes happening at Gunpoint...
...not sure why people keep going there.
A robber held a man in a suit at gunpoint
"Give me your money," demands the robber
The affluent man replies, "You can't do this! I'm a US Congressman!"
The robber shouts, "In that case, give me **MY** money!"
A man holds his sarcastic wife at gunpoint.
He tells her, "I'm not going to miss you."
The wife says, "It wouldn't surprise me if you did."
A masked dude walks into a building
... and asks the woman at the counter to open a cabin at gunpoint. The lady asks "You do know that this is a _sperm_ bank, right?". He signals to open the cabin with the gun. She obeys. "Drink it", he says. She gives him a puzzled look and drinks from the bottle helplessly. The man unmasks himself and the lady is surprised to see that its her husband. He says "See, its not that hard, is it?"
What's the lowest point in an American student's life?
Gunpoint.
The most dangerous place in the world is Gunpoint.
I'm always hearing about it in the news, robbed or kidnapped at Gunpoint. Crazy.
If you're gonna rob me at gunpoint...
All you gonna get is practice.
