gunna Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious gunna puns

Remember when you were a kid and when you cried your parents said, "I'll give you a reason to cry"?

I always thought they were gunna hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.


The average person has sex 89 times a year

It's gunna be one hell of a week for me.


How is a 9 Volt Battery similar to an Anus?

You know you shouldn't, but eventually you're gunna lick it.


(NSFW) Two men standing in a bar...

...after a full day of drinking and one of them throws up on himself.
"Ahh man my wife is gunna kill me. I said I was only going to have a couple today and she's already been complaining about how much I drink" he said.
His friend, being a shrewd guy, comes up with an idea:
"Put 10 dollars in the top pocket of your shirt here. When your wife sees you, tell her some other guy threw up on you and offered to pay for the shirt to be cleaned".
Pleased that this solves the problem the 2 friends keep drinking.
After staggering home the vomit-stained man swings the door open to be greeted by his eye-rolling wife.
"Oh my word you said you were only going to go out for a couple and look at the state of you!" she says.
"No, no look this was some other guy I promise. He said he'd give me 10 bucks to get it cleaned! check my pocket!".
She reaches in...
"You said he gave you 10 dollars why is there 20 in here?"
"Oh yeah...he shit my pants as well".


My girlfriend's black.

She's always in a rush, saying, "Come on! Let's go! We gotta move! We're gunna be late! Drive faster! Switch lanes! We gotta beat the crowd!" I look at her every time and say, "Leave it to you to play the race card."


If your gunna tell a joke about a midget being smothered in honey....

Keep it short and sweet.


An old man on his front porch see two boys walk down the street past his house

Each boy is carrying a roll of duct tape.

"What are you boys doing with that duct tape?" said the man

"Gunna catch us some ducks Mister" said one the kids

"I don't think it works that way but good luck."

The kids walk by a couple of hours later with a duck under each of their arms.

Next week the old man sees the same kids walking down the street with chicken wire.

"What are you doing with that chicken wire" asks the old man

"Catch us some chickens" replied the kids

The old man shakes his head and wishes them luck. But a couple hours later the boys are each holding a chicken!

The following week the old man sees the two boys again, carrying a bundle of pussy willow. So he said "wait for me boys, just need to grab my hat"


$10 in the pocket.

John has a bad drinking problem and agrees with his wife that he'll stop drinking. On his way home from work, he can't help but stop by the bar for just one drink.

"Only one tonight, Bill. My wife wants me to stop drinking for good."

He finishes his first and asks for a second. Then a third and a fourth. On his fifth drink, he vomits on his work shirt.

"Oh fuck! Now my wife is gunna know I was drinking! She's gunna kill me, Bill."

"Hey don't worry about it. Tell her you were walking home and a man threw up on your shirt. Tuck a ten dollar bill in your shirt pocket and tell her he gave you money to get it dry-cleaned."

John loves the idea and has a few more before he goes home. As he walks into his house, his wife starts screaming "You son of a bitch, you've been drinking again! You got puke all over you!"

"No, I swear I wasn't! I was walking home and a man threw up on my shirt! He even gave me $10 to get it dry-cleaned," he says, pulling the money from his front pocket.

"John, that's a $20 bill," she replies.

"Yeah, he shit in my pants, too."


Your mama so fat...

I was gunna make a movie about her - around your mum In 80 days but I changed it to mission impossible .


There's this bar on top of the Empire State Building

The first guy looks at the second guy and says" you know the wind is so strong up here, if you jump out the window, it'll carry you right back up."
The second guy looks at the first and says "I'm not stupid I'm not going to kill myself."
The first guy says "watch." So he heads over to the window and jumps out. Sure enough, he floats right Back inside.
The second guy looks at the first with his jaw on the ground. He says "that's fucking amazing! I'm gunna try it!"
He jumps out the window, *SPLAT* dead on the concrete.
Bartender looks at the first guy and says "man you're a dick when you drink, superman


Kid comes home from school and says 'Dad, we're gunna be rich tomorrow'.

Dad's like 'How?!?!'

'My math teacher said he's gunna teach us converting cents into dollars'.


A Guy Walks Into a Bar with a Loaded Six Shooter with 1 in the Chamber

And yells "Who slept with my wife!? I'm gunna shoot that motherfuc***!"

A guy in the back yells back

"You're gunna need more ammo!"


A jewish son asks his father for money.

The son goes up to his father and asks, "Dad, can I borrow twenty dollars?"

His fathers responds, "Fifteen dollars?! What are you gunna do with ten dollars?!"


My company has a 401k program.

I was gunna join, but I figured there's no way I can run that far.


A nerdy white guy is about to spend his first night in prison...

... After lights out, Big Black Mamma Jack jumps off of the top bunk and says: "We gunna have sex. You wanna be the mommy or the daddy?" The nerdy white guy thinking he's smart says: "I guess I'll be the daddy." Big Black Mamma Jack says: "Good! Now get over here and suck your mamma's dick."


I was gunna write the great American nursing home romance novel...

....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.


I wish my surname was Gasket..

That way when people say things like, "I'm gunna blow a gasket!", I reply with a shrug and say, "Let's do this."


Gunna have to go to the doctor's office tomorrow for my girl. I think she has dyslexia.

This is the 5th time she went to cook my sock.


Sometimes me and my Russian husband have poor communication skills..

I'll hear him say, "honey, please pass the salt" But he'll really be trying to say "I'm gunna leave you, bitch"


Rick Astley voted in the referendum.

He's never gunna give EU up


I got a copy of a story line for next years wrestle mania. I decided to spoil it for my friends by telling them that next years wrestle mania

is gunna be scripted.


How do you get a Gen Z's mailing address?

Tell them you're gunna send them a Tide pod.


Why did the black man where a suit to his vasectomy?

"If I'm gunna be impotent, I'm gunna look impotent!"


If you're ever bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gunna do? Tell their parents?


It's a good thing No Mans Sky made so much money for Sean Murry

He's gunna need it for all that plastic surgery before he can be seen in public again.


What did Jeffery Dauhmer say to Lorrana Bobbitt?

You gunna eat that?


Do you like Dragons?

Cause I'm gunna be dragon these balls across your face!


The Sun told me

He was gunna keep it 100 today.


What are the most funny Gunna jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Gunna? Well, here are the best Gunna dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Gunna pick up lines to share with friends.


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