Gunman Jokes
28 gunman jokes and hilarious gunman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gunman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Gunman Short Jokes
Short gunman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gunman humour may include short handgun jokes also.
- Before you criticize a gunman you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way you'll be out of range and he'll be barefoot.
- You should never yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater The gunman will shoot when he's ready, it isn't polite to rush him
- A gunman tried to shoot up a chirch but could only hit furniture. An earwitness described it as "Pew, Pew, Pew".
- Why did the gunman start shooting at the ocean? Because he found out fish swim in schools.
- What do a Catholic Priest and a school-gunman have in common? They both like shooting into little boys.
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Gunman One Liners
Which gunman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gunman? I can suggest the ones about gunshot and one armed man.
- Why was the gunman bad at arguing? He only had hollow points.
- Why was the gunman on a diet? Because he was still at large.
- Did you hear about the philosophical gunman? He blew people's minds.
- What do you call an italian assassin? A provo-lone gunman
- Why did the gunman go into the salon? He needed a hair trigger. ;)
- Did you hear about the gunman who shot up a Catholic Church? Yeah, it was a Mass Shooting
- What do you call a gunman who exercises? An active shooter!
- Today some crazed gunman shot up a cathedral in Brazil... It was a mass shooting.
- What do you call a rifle store owner who has an introverted personality. A loan gunman.
- How is a panda like a gunman in a diner? They both eat shoots and leaves.
- I am in a gay bar I get shot in the face
Then a gunman walks in
Comical Gunman Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about gunman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean machine gun jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gunman pranks.
home invader
A home invader breaks into a house and finds a couple in the bedroom and holds them at gunpoint.
The owner points to the woman and says, "You have to let her go right now.
You can have all the money and jewelry in the house, you can have my credit card and car keys.
You can even shoot me but you have to let her go right now." The gunman says,
"You must really love your wife."
"Yes and she will be home in 20 minutes."
A heist goes wrong and the hostages are on the verge of being executed.
The nervous gunman makes some small talk with the hostages and asks a woman her name.
"Martha." she replies. The gunman is taken aback, and says "Martha.. that was my mother's name. I can't kill you. Go, run to the exit and don't look back."
After the woman is rescued by the police outside, he turns to a man and asks him his name.
"Martha." he replies.
A man is walking down the street in Belfast one dark night
when he feels a gun pressed into his back and he gets steered into a dark alleyway.
"Alright," the voice behind him says, "Are ye Catholic or Protestant?"
Knowing that the wrong choice might kill him, the man stutters, "I -- I'm Jewish!"
"Well!" the gunman says, "If that don't just make me the luckiest Muslim in Ireland!"
Back in the 80's I was walking in Belfast when I was accosted by a masked man, brandishing a gun.
He asked "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant"? I replied "Neither, I'm an Atheist". The Gunman was silent for a moment, then finally said "Is that a Catholic Atheist or a Protestant Atheist"?
