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Gun Show Jokes

34 gun show jokes and hilarious gun show puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gun show that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Gun Show Short Jokes

Short gun show jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gun show humour may include short gun control jokes also.

  1. Studies show that owning a ladder is 10 times more dangerous than owning a gun. That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac trys to come at me with a ladder.
  2. Studies show owning a ladder is more dangerous that a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, just in case some fool tries to sneak in here with a ladder
  3. Pick up line for a one-armed gym rat. I go two tickets to the gun show, you want the extra?
  4. Got pulled over tonight. Cop asked if I had any weapons. I showed him my guns. He laughed.
  5. The NRA showed Trump and Obama the newest NRA advertisement and asked what they thought. At the same time, Trump and Obama sternly said... "Stick to your guns."
  6. A man walks into a gun store and asks "what is the best gun for bears?" The guy behind the counter shows him a selection of guns, then the man adds : "which ones of these are good for twinks too?".

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Gun Show One Liners

Which gun show one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gun show? I can suggest the ones about guns ammo and handgun.

  1. What is a chef's favorite gun? A-salt-rifle
    I'll show myself out
  2. Every body loves guns! Everytime I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
  3. What can you say at Mr. Olympia and a public school? Welcome to the gun show
  4. Jose Cuervo showed up at his girlfriend's house with a gun... Tequila
  5. Guns N' Roses will play their first show in St. Louis since 1991. Sounds like a riot!
  6. Do you know where I can buy tickets to the Gun Show? at the Armitorium.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about gun show can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of gun show puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Gun Show Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about gun show you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean machine gun jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make gun show prank.

Jesus's favorite gun

My uncle is a member of the NRA. He came over for the Christmas dinner wearing a shirt with Jesus on it. I noticed his shirt and complimented it.
He then took his jacket off and showed me the back. On it, Jesus was holding a PK in one hand and an AK-47 on the other. Above it was text that reads "What would Jesus shoot?" That question was a no brainer. I answered "a nail gun."
I don't know why he got mad. Jesus was a carpenter.

Show me where the money is! , yelled the bank robber.

Teller: ........... .
Robber: *waving his gun* Tell me where the money is or I'll shoot!
Teller: ........... .
Penn: He always does this .

A black man walks into a gun store in Texas.

"I would like to see that glock on the display wall"
"I am sorry sir we are out of stock for those" replied the salesman.
"Ok, show me the one beside it, the rifle"
"We are out of those, as well"
Suspecting the salesman is a racist he goes to a lawyer.
When the lawyer, who is white, walks into the store and asks, "what have you got against b**......" when he is interrupted.
"Well we have handguns, rifles, shotguns..."

The mob boss sends two of his men to kill a gangster...

They park outside his house half an hour before his expected return, check their guns, and wait. Half an hour later, the gangster's not there. They keep waiting in silence, an hour passes - and he's not there. Time passes, and the target is still not home. Finally, one of the hitmen looks at the watch and says:
"We've been here for three hours, and he still ain't showed up."
"Jeez," the other hitman says, "I hope nothing happened to him."

A boy and his mother are watching TV

There are a lot of guns being fired in the show. So after the show is over the kid has the gun shots in his mind, and keeps repeating "BANG BANG BANG", "BANG BANG BANG"... This continues throughout the day. By the evening the mother is really tired and out of anger tells the boy "Be Silent".
So the boy starts "ANG ANG ANG", "ANG ANG ANG"..

I thought of an idea for a new reality TV show...

It's about a group of Middle Easter Islamic terrorists that are entering their 40s. They stop buying an excessive amount of guns and explosives and instead start purchasing luxery cars and motorcycles. I call the show Midlife ISIS.

A policeman pulled a man over and as he approached the window he immediately drew his gun and screamed "Where's the little girl!"

The man said, "What little girl?!"
The officer aimed his gun and yelled again, "SHOW ME THE LITTLE GIRL!"
The man now in tears, said, "I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW!"
The officer smiled and said, "...There's the little girl."

You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

That's why I own ten guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!
^(Source: Gravity Falls. Can't find a good clip of the moment)

3 gunmen died from a car c**......

... when the devil shows up, and holds up a key. He says 'I will let one of you go, if you get this key.'
The three men look at each other, and realize that if any one of them were to take it, the other two would shoot them. So they agree to have a duel - each of them can choose a weapon for the duel, and they agree to shoot at 10 paces.
'I'll take this one' said the first gunman, grabbing a large p**... with a lot of rounds.
'I want this one!' said the second, taking one with a laser pointer.
'Ummm... That one!' said the third, who grabbed a lasso.
The others stare at him in disbelief, but let hi choose it anyway.
They place the key on top of a little mound of rock, and each take 10 steps from that rock. Then the instant they do, they take aim. Not caring about the third gunman, the first gunman points his gun at the second, and the second at the first. They look viciously into each others eyes.
Then they look at the third gunman, who's disappeared with the key.

A man was preparing for his first solo flight over the wilds of Alaska.....

And during the pre-flight check, he pulled out the emergency kit and opened it. Inside he found just a single deck of cards and nothing else.
Turning to the old grizzled flying vet, he asks "Hey bud, sorry to seem concerned but why does the emergency kit only contain a deck of cards?"
The vet laugh heartily at the question. He answers "That's all you'll ever need here in the wild!"
Confused and growing concerned, the pilot asks "Don't....don't we need a gun, matches, fire starter, bullets and water to survive?"
The vet looks at him as replies "No man. If you ever c**..., just pull out the deck of cards and start playing solitaire. Eventually someone will show up and tell you that you're playing it wrong."

The old dentist

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald wrinkled, fat, gray, decrepit son-of-a-gun asked, "What did you teach?"

A Texan's three daughters have a date tonight...

(This joke is especially good live with you miming the actions and doing onomatopoeia - )
A Texan's triplet daughters are going to their first date tonight, so he stands behind their door waiting for their dates to show up.
The first guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thar?"
He stammers "H-hi! My name's Louie, I'm here to get Ruthie and we're going to the movies."
Tex calls Ruthie down and they leave.
The second guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thyar?"
He winces "Hi! My names Freddie, I'm here to get Betty and we're gonna get spaghetti. Is she ready?"
Tex calls Betty down and they leave.
The third guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thar?"
He waves, "Hi! My name's Chuck..."
\> ***BLAM!****!****!*** <

World's Funniest Joke

The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.
The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject.
The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan,was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester:
*Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"*

My grandfather sent me this in an email this morning.

Frank is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home. Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 82, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Frank turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?''
"s**...." he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old toot. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Frank says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."
"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Frank's thingie.
Then one night Frank didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find him and make sure he was O.K.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Frank's little pal!
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing son-of-a-gun!! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"
Old Frank smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"

A guy gets a job at a fruit stand

His first ever customer walks up to him and asks "how much is a pound of apples?" "I don't know." says the guy "let me call my manager." He calls the manager and the manager says "Your supposed to say '25 cents,sir'."
When the guy gets off the phone he sees that the first customer has already left, but another customer is there. The second customer asks
"how much for a pound of apples?" and the cashier replies "25 cents, sir." "Are they fresh?" he asks. "I don't know. Let me call my manager" the cashier says again. The manager tells him the correct response is "Yes! very fresh".
The second customer is also gone by the time the phone call is finished, but a third one shows up. The third customer asks "How much would it cost for a pound of apples?" "25 cents, sir" says the worker. " "Are they fresh?" asks the customer."Yes! very fresh." says the worker
"Should I buy them?" asks the customer. "I don't know. Let me ask my manager." says the worker. The manager is angry now and explains very slowly "Just say '25 cents sir' 'Yes very fresh' and 'if you don't somebody else will'."
The vendor finds this easy enough and if confident now. A burglar comes up to the stand with a gun and says "GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY!". The vendor calmly replies "25 cents, sir." "ARE YOU BEING FRESH WITH ME?" screams the burglar. "Yes very fresh" says the vendor. "DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW?" yells the burglar. "If you don't then somebody else will"

There was a farmer who had three daughters

There was a farmer who had three daughters and all of his daughters were going on their first dates at the same time. The farmer, being protective of his daughters, decided to meet their suitors at the front door with his shot gun.
Some time went by, the first suitor arrived and the farmer answered the door: "Hi I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The farmer thought this on was ok, so he let them go.
The second suitor arrived and the farmer answered the door: "Hi my name's Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer thought this one was ok too, so off the two kids went.
The third suitor arrived and the farmer answered the door: "Hi my name's Chuck" and the farmer shot him.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these gun show jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.