Gun Control Jokes
43 gun control jokes and hilarious gun control puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gun control that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Gun Control Short Jokes
Short gun control jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gun control humour may include short handgun jokes also.
- What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns? I think he would be most strict on nail gun control.
(Credit to Taylor on PKA) - Why do Democrats push for more gun control? Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.
- Perfect solution to make the Right want gun control... Rename schools to uteruses so they'll care about kids dying there.
- There's generally 2 sides to any gun-control debate The Trigger-happy and the
T R I G G E R E D - Why don't Republican politicians introduce stricter gun control bills? Because it's easier for the NRA to write no changes. on the memo line of their donation cheques.
- I asked a Republican about gun control... He said, "It's bad to politicize today's tragedy! It's too soon to discuss last week's tragedy. It's a bit late to discuss last month's tragedy."
- I live in a country with gun control I don't understand why people in Tshirts think they have the right to bare arms
- If we really cared about gun control, we should just still Alaska back to Russia. The whole state's basically a giant AK-49.
- Gun Control Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. Chris Rock
- Why did they stab Julius Caesar? Nobody had guns, because Rome had much better gun control laws.
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Gun Control One Liners
Which gun control one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gun control? I can suggest the ones about guns and guns ammo.
- We need to have a conversation about gun control. Alright, shoot.
- What do you call a sentry gun that can't control its body? Tourrette
- Gun control is very similar to any Muslim It doesn't fly with me.
- I believe in gun control... ...as long as it's with two hands.
- My music teacher gave a lecture about gun control the other day It was a glock and spiel
- We don't need gun control! Their hasn't been a school shooting in like at least a month
- We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
- What does the G stand for in United States Of America ? _Gun control_
- gun control in the US
- Well it seems everyone's so up in arms about gun control these days.
- Why do feminists support gun control? They don't like triggers
- We've enough gun control.
- What do you call a p**... who's upset about gun control? A sandy h**...
Hilarious Fun Gun Control Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about gun control you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gun show jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gun control pranks.
So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday
So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber p**... for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, s**... down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.'
GOT MY CONCEALED GUN PERMIT YESTERDAY
went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm for home protection.
When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "s**... down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!!
They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still don't think I looked that bad.
Concealed Carry
Got another concealed carry p**... yesterday.
In the afternoon, I went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.
When I was ready to pay for the p**... and ammo, the cashier said, "s**... down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!
As an intelligent senior citizen, I do not get flustered often. But this time, it took me a while to get my pants back on.
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.
I still don't think I looked that bad!
Joe wakes up to a noise on the roof...
...so he goes outside and sees that a bear has climbed up on top of his house. Joe runs inside and calls the first pest control number he sees in the phone book. The man on the other end says that he can remove the bear no problem and will be there shortly. 30 minutes later the man pulls up in a truck. Joe watches the man unload a big cage, a ladder, a shovel, a shotgun, and the biggest German Shepard Joe has ever seen. He asks the man what his plan is to get the bear off the roof. The man says that he will climb up the ladder and using the shovel will scare the bear off the roof. When the bear hits the ground the dog will grab it by the nuts and drag him into the cage. Joe says "that sounds like quite the plan but what is the gun for". The man says "if the bear knocks me off the roof then shoot the f!@#ing dog"
Male Birth Control.
....Because its easier to unload the gun than shooting at a bulletproof vest.
the fowled experiment
scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
british engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. arrangements were made. but when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cab.
horrified the britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA's response was just three words, "thaw the chicken".