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Gum Jokes

136 gum jokes and hilarious gum puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gum that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Find out why everyone is talking about gum jokes! From Bazooka to Double Bubble and everything in between, get your cravings for a good laugh satisfied with these hilarious gags! Enjoy a bubblegum softness in your smile with Listerine and a few of these great jokes. Whether it's Fallout 76 or 5 Gum, get ready to laugh till you bubble!

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Popular Gum Short Jokes

Short gum jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gum humour may include short bubblegum jokes also.

  1. Guns are like gum... Pull it out in class and everyone acts like you've been best friends since kindergarten.
  2. What is the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says "Spit out the gum!"
    A train says "Chew! Chew!"
    Ye, courtesy of my 8 year old daughter.
  3. What flavor gum does the President prefer? Governmint
    Ill walk myself to the nearest border
  4. What's the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, "Spit out your gum!"
    The other goes, "Choo Choo Choo"
  5. I'm thinking about starting a business that recycles discarded chewing gum... I just need help getting it off the ground.
  6. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?? The teacher tells you to to spit out the gum, while the other says "chew-chew!"
  7. I'm trying out a new idea for using gum that's lost its flavor. Right now, it's just an ex-spearmint.
    (Sorry)
  8. A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor It was a weapon of math disruption.
  9. [OC] In my day we used to use subliminal advertising to sell candy. And, buy gum, it worked!
  10. What flavor gum does a scientist prefer? Exspearamint.
    inspired by the presidential gum joke.

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Gum One Liners

Which gum one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gum? I can suggest the ones about soft and tooth.

  1. What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? Gum
  2. How to get gum out of a child's hair? With leukemia.
  3. What is a flat earther's least favorite flavor of gum? Spheremint
  4. My teacher said, "Are you chewing gum?" I said, "Do I look like chewing gum to you?"
  5. The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips... So I got kicked out of KFC.
  6. What is the easiest way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.
  7. What's the moon's favorite gum? Orbit.
  8. I quit smoking and I'm using gum as an alternative... It sure is hard to keep lit.
  9. What kind of gum do bees chew? BUMBLEGUM.
    Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.
  10. What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum.
  11. What is a train's favourite food? Gum. *chew* *chew*
  12. What is hard when it goes in and soft and sticky when it comes out? A chewing gum
  13. What kind of gum do astronauts chew? Hubble Bubble
  14. What is an old person's favorite flavor of gum? Retire-Mint
    ^Thank ^you, ^goodnight
  15. I want some gum Got any spare-mint?

Chewing Gum Jokes

Here is a list of funny chewing gum jokes and even better chewing gum puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "Are you chewing gum?" the teacher asked the student. "Do I look like chewing gum to you?" the student replied.

  • My son got sent home from school today for chewing gum in class.
    I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking.
  • What's the similarity between a pack of chewing gum and a gun? When you pull it out in class, everyone wants to be friends
  • what is the difference between school and train? The school says spit chewing gum but the train says "chew chew chew"
  • How does a train driver operate a train while eating gum? He goes chew chew chew...
    creds to my 5yo brother
  • So apparently the new fashion trend of the day is to stick chewed gum in your hair It's a unique look but it's hard to pull off.
  • I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum... I just need help getting it off the ground...
  • What's hard before you use it, wet while you're using it and soft and flaccid after you are done using it? Chewing gum.
  • What goes in mouth dry and hard and come out soft and sticky? Chewing gum
  • What's the most effective way to remove a sticky chewing gum from your hair ? Cancer.

Teeth Gum Jokes

Here is a list of funny teeth gum jokes and even better teeth gum puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding.
  • Do you have gum? There's already some above your teeth.
  • What do you call a midget with no teeth A gum job.

Bubble Gum Jokes

Here is a list of funny bubble gum jokes and even better bubble gum puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is pink, hard when it goes in, soft when it comes out, dry when it goes in, and wet when it comes out? Bubble gum. Got this joke from a high school science teacher, one of the weird ones.
  • What did the guy at the restaurant say to the bubble gum he found stuck under the table? I have a bad feeling about this, Chewy.
  • What is pink , goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet ? Bubble gum.
  • Did you hear about the witch who ate 10 packs of gum? She had some double bubble toilet trouble.
  • Working in the bubble gum industry is rough... After awhile, they just chew you up and spit you out!
  • What did the cherry tree say to Abe Lincoln? Don't axe me!
    I read that on a bubble gum wrapper.
  • What goes in big and hard and comes out soft and soggy? Bubble gum.
  • When someone offers you a bubble gum, you take it Unless its a poisonous one, then you dont take it
  • What's soft to start and takes a while to get hard? Bubble gum
  • Pikachu wanted some bubble gum And then he Pikachew

Big Gum Jokes

Here is a list of funny big gum jokes and even better big gum puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's Han Solo's favorite gum? Big League Chewie
  • I used to think it was no big deal that my gums bled whenever I flossed, but I talked to my dentist about it and she said that it can actually be a bad sign. So now I never floss.
  • What's Clifford's favorite gum? Big Red, dawg.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about gum can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of gum puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheeky Gum Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about gum you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean mouthwash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make gum prank.

May I have a piece of gum?

Two gay guys are in a large passenger plane flying across the Pacific. In the middle of the flight, one turns and tells his partner: "Let's have s**.... Right here and now." His partner says: "Are you crazy? In front of all these people?" The first gay guy says: "Don't worry. They're all asleep. Here, see for yourself." He leans out into the aisle and yells: "Excuse me, can anybody let me have a piece of gum?" There's no answer or any kind of interest. His partner is convinced and they have s**... right then and there.
The plane lands and as the passengers are disembarking there is a stewardess by the exit asking everyone if they had a good flight. One man says, "The flight was fine but I have a horrible headache". The stewardess says: "Oh you poor thing, why didn't you ask for some aspirin?" And the man says: "Are you kidding? I saw what happened to that poor guy who asked for a piece of gum."

A man walks into a barber shop for a shave.

While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.
"And what if I s**... it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

Three snails were drinking at a bar. One of the snails got up to buy chewing gum at the store. He asked his snail friends if they wanted some gum too. They said yes.

3 years passed. One of the snail friends said he still hasn't returned, we might as well drink his beer . Suddenly a voice from the door yelled, if you touch my beer, I won't be buying you guys any chewing gum! .

What do r**... fathers like to chew on?

Dad gum

So we all know about Gandhi right?

Well Gandhi as well know was a very important person who in recent times has taken on a mystic quality to some. He often fasted for long periods of time making him rather weak and fragile, he went barefoot for long periods of time and so it's fair to assume he built up lots and lots of callouses and he was reported at one point to have very bad breath because of a gum disease. This all means he was a...
Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis

Whats the same about a package of gum and a gun?

If you take it out in class, everyone will want to be your friend

Food scientists have finally managed to remove the mint flavor from gum

The ex-spearmint was a complete success

When I was a kid I could go to a corner store with a $1 and get 2 cokes, 1 kitkat and a gum

Nowadays there are CCTV cameras everywhere

If the grocery store prohibited gum in employees mouths, would it be safe to say that….

Baggers can't be Chewsers

Three men were waiting outside the labor ward...

A nurse came out to tell the first man: "Congratulations. You are the father of twins." "Twins!"he exclaimed "How about that? I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Co!"
Five minutes later, a nurse came out to tell the second man: "Congratulations. You are the father of triplets." "Triplets!" he said "What a coincidence! I work for the 3M Organization!"
Upon hearing this, the third man stood up & muttered: ''I need some air, I work for 7 up!"

I went to the store today to buy some coconuts.

And a pack of gum, so it wouldn't be weird.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

A teacher says to spit our gum out, a train says choo choo choo.

Jeffrey d**... didn't like Tic Tacs or gum.

He preferred men toes.

At least she didn't say s**....

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says: "Spit your gum out." the other says:
"Chew Chew."
/Badum cshhhh

What's the difference between a depressed criminal and a cat cutting down a gumtree with a chainsaw?

One's a felon feeling glum, and the other is a feline felling gum.

I have an unopened pack of gum from 1993

You could even say it's in...
..mint condition

why does Han Solo like gum so much?

Because it's chewy

What do a gun and a pack of gum have in common?

When you pull them out in a classroom, everybody wants to be your friend.

This morning I slipped on a gum ball and landed on my face pretty hard.

Actually it was a jaw breaker

What's a scientist's favorite gum flavor?

.......Ex-*spearmint*.

At the barbershop

A man enters a barbershop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.
\- "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.
\- "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech
\- "And what if I s**... it?"
\- "No problem" says the barber.
\- "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!"

What goes in hard but comes soft and wet?

Gum

Well, I wouldn't say the easiest.

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?
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Cancer

Imagine America's best dentists competing against each other in fixing dental problems

We'll call the show "Top Gum"

When i was a kid, you could go into a store with a dollar and walk out with a soda, 4 candy bars, chips, and some gum...

But now, they have security cameras everywhere
[not my joke, I got it from somewhere just don't remember where, and it's provably unfunny but it made me laugh a lil]

Why are the streets of North Korea so clean?

Because your life is worth more then a gum wrapper!

"I'd like to return this gum, it tastes awful"

"Um, sir, those are bandaids."
"I'd like to return these bandaids. I think someone ate some."

An elementary school student gets gum stuck in his hair...

So the nurse takes him to the science teacher and say "Can you get the gum out of his hair?"
The science teacher responds "Of course, its just a matter of having the right solvent."
An hour later the nurse asks the science teacher "Have any luck?"
The science teacher responds "Yes, here's the gum back."

A couple were french kissing

A couple were french kissing, then the guy looks at the girl and says " I think I swallowed your gum"
Nah, says the girl, I just have a cold.

a french girl married a texas guy..

After a while together, she is complaining:
- listen, John, when you kiss me with a chewing gum in your mouth, I can live with that, when you make love to me with your boots and hat on - i can bear with it, but please take your cigar out when we do 69!

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

ex-spearmints

Three Guys Are Getting Ready For Their Dates

The first guy pops a breath mint for his date so his breath smells good. Then the second guy starts chewing some gum so his breath smells good. Then the last guy starts eating onions and garlic. The others say "Don't you want to have nice smelling breath for your date?"
"Nah" he says, "The lips I'm kissing tonight already stink."

Always read the package insert

"Doc, the suppository you prescribed... they really stuck to my gum and teeth".
"What? You didn't s**... them, did you?"
"Of course I did, what else was I supposed to do with them, shove 'em up my a**...?"

A joke my husband made up...What kind of gum does Trump chew?

Double impeachmint. (Yes he is a Dad....)

A man named Joe came into my store wearing a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt. He started to leave, and I noticed he had some Dubble Bubble he hadn't paid for.

"Hey Joe, where you going with that gum in your hand?"

Back in the days a dollar could get me...

A pack of gum, some candy, 2 sodas, 4 pack of chips. Today..well the got cameras everywhere.

Earth went around the solar system asking the other planets for a stick of gum.

They all refused, but Earth still got one; Pluto shares its Orbit.

What's the difference between a train and a teacher?

A train goes choo choo and a teacher says, Spit that gum out!
Hat tip to my nine year old niece, who has better jokes than I do.

Waiting in line

A woman is checking out at the grocery store. She buys a dozen eggs, two boxes of pasta, waffles, a bag of onions, lunch meat, oatmeal, sparkling water and throws on a pack of gum at the register.
The man behind her says "you must be single"
"Why yes I am! Did you figure this out by noticing all the stuff I bought?"
"Nope, it's because you are ugly!"

My girlfriend

My girlfriend was crying because she had gum in her hair.
I told her to cut it out.

Why does Bill Clinton chew gum all the time?

He has an o**... fixation.

Police in yorkshire have discovered a new method of taking Ecstasy, where users dab it into their mouths...

E by gum

jokes about gum

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these gum jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.