Gulp Jokes
22 gulp jokes and hilarious gulp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gulp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy some gulp jokes that will make you giggle and down them in one swallow. From the silly pours to the ridiculous gulps, these jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.
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Funniest Gulp Short Jokes
Short gulp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gulp humour may include short slug jokes also.
- Why did the horses kept saying orange juice?
Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
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Gulp One Liners
Which gulp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gulp? I can suggest the ones about brew and generator.
- A Big Gulp in a North Korean 7-11 should be called a "Supreme Litre."
- Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Gulp. - What did the big mouth bass buy at 7-Eleven? A big gulp.
- My WiFi went down for 5 minutes So I had to....gulp....talk to my family.
- My 40 time Is about 4.2 gulps
Hilarious Fun Gulp Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about gulp you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean assemble jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gulp pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American spy comes into a Soviet bar
And orders a drink.
"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.
The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of v**... and drains it in one big gulp.
"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"
The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, everyone in the bar tearing up, including the barkeep.
"You sing like Russian", he said under tears, "but you are American spy"
He starts dancing the Kozachok, worthy of the Bolshoy dancers.
"You dance like Russian, but you are American spy"
"Ok, you got me. But how do you know?"
"There are no black Russians"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy races into a bar looking very flustered and says to the bartender "Quick, give me a shot of your finest Scotch before the trouble starts"
The guy downs the scotch in a single gulp and glancing nervously towards the doors says **"Quick, give me another shot of you finest Scotch before the trouble starts"**
The guy downs that Scotch too and says, ***"Quick, another shot before the trouble starts".*** The barman pauses and says ***"Ok but I need you to pay for the other shots first"***
The guy looks the barman in the eye and says ***"It looks like the trouble has started"******.***
Professor: April, you are failing my class.
April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I'm sure we can fix this. I'll do annnything to pass.
Professor: {gulp} anything?
April: YES! Anything you can dream up.
Professor: Will you…… study?
Quick, give me a whisky before it gets started!
A man walks into a pub and says to the barman: "Quick, give me a whisky before it gets started!"
"Before what gets started?"
"Never mind, just give me a whisky, quick!"
It sounds urgent, so the barman gives him a drink.
The customer downs it in one gulp and says, "Another, quick, before it gets started!"
The barman gives him another whisky.
But when the man asks for a third one he says, "Hang on, when are you going to pay for these?"
"Oh here we go," says the man, "It's started."
A man walks into a church confessional
He says to the priest, "Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night."
The priest is silent for a moment and then says, "Go home, cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it all down in one gulp."
"And I'll be forgiven?" asks the man.
"No" replies the priest, "but it will wipe that smirk off your face."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cheating wife
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp.
"Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must have happened". Yeah it did, he said.
"I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having s**... with my best friend." The bartender pours the guy another triple shot. "This one's on the house".
The dude gulps it down once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife ? "
The guy answers "Yea, I walked up to her, told her to pack her bag's and get out !"
"What about your friend ?" asks the bartender. "I looked him straight in the eye and said bad dog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian runs into a bar
Quick! Quick he yells at the bartender. A v**... before it starts!
The bartender quickly pours him a shot of v**... which the Russian drinks in one gulp.
Another! Fast before it starts...
The bartender gives him another one which the Russian drinks immediately.
Hurry hurry another one before it starts...
The bartender asks "how are you going to pay for these?"
The Russian throws up his hands and says "ahhhh now it starts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A few guys always used to meet up on Fridays after work for a drink.
One Friday, Pete showed up late, sat down forlornly at the bar and knocked back his first beer in one gulp.
'You OK?' asked Bill, another of the gang.
'Not really,' sighed Pete. 'This morning my wife told me that she's rationing our s**... life – she's cutting me back to just once a week. I can't believe it.'
Bill put a consoling arm around Pete's shoulder. 'You think you've got it bad – she's cut some guys off altogether!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three boys talk in the schoolyard:
Boy one: "You know, my mom's mouth is so big, that she can s**... a whole cinnamon bun in one bite!"
Boy two: "Whatever, my mom can s**... a panini with just one bite!"
Boy three: "Those are rookie numbers! My mom can s**... a whole floor lamp in one gulp!"
Boy one and boy two look at boy three with delusion, and ask him how he knows she can do it, boy three answers:
"I heard when mommy and daddy where talking with each other in the other room the other night. Mom whispered: "turn off the floor lamp, i'll take it in my mouth.""
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man sees another man at a bar...
He had been sitting at a table for 15 minutes staring at his beer. He decides to walk over and take his beer. He c**... it all in one gulp, and the man at the table begins crying in uncontrollably. He begins to feel bad and says "don't worry, I'll buy you a new one". The man replies "you don't understand, I just caught my wife with my brother and I was going to poison myself... But now I have to buy more poison".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Years ago they tried to
*gulp*
Years ago they tried to....*licks lips*..put me in the....
..
Aw this is live
"Mm-Hmm"
...
...
...
"Do you wanna try and read something from the book?"
Yea
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cowboy walks into a bar
and orders a dose of the strongest drink available. The bartender serves a glass, the cowboy drinks it all in a single s**..., hits the glass on the table and asks for more.
The bartender serves another dose and the cowboy again drinks it all in one gulp and asks for more. The bartender serves the third dose of his strongest drink and equally the cowboy drinks everything in one gulp.
Impressed, the bartender says:
"Wow, you drank three doses in one gulp each. You're a real macho".
And the cowboy replies:
"What's the good of being so macho if the man I love doesnt want me?"
Ps.: I appreciate any language improvement.
Little man in a bar, staring sadly at a shotglass for hours.
A big burly guy comes in, slaps him on the back, and downs the shot in a single gulp. The little guy bursts into tears.
"Hey, calm down, man, it was just a joke," says the big guy. "Look, I'll buy you another drink."
"No, you don't understand!" blubbers the little guy, struggling to keep it together. "I'm having the worst day of my life! Today at work, I flubbed a big sales deal. The boss chewed me out in front of the whole company and fired me on the spot. I came home early to find my wife in bed with another man. And just when I had decided to end it all, you went and drank my poison!"
Husband takes his wife to the pub
A nagging wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so one night he takes her along with him.
"What'll you have?" he asks.
"Oh, I don't know. Same as you I suppose," she replies.
The husband orders a couple of straight whiskies and throws his down in one gulp. His wife watches him, takes a sip from her glass and immediately spits it out.
"Yuck, it's horrible," she splutters. "I don't know how you can drink that stuff!"
"Well there you go," cries the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender for his best scotch.
The bartender reaches up to the top shelf and gingerly picks up a bottle of single malt. He carefully pours a shot into a clean glass and put in on the bar. The guy grabs the drink and throws it down his t**... in one gulp. The bartender is aghast and says " Whoa, whoa that is 17 year old nectar from the Scottish Highlands. It should be savored and enjoyed not gulped like a shot of cheap v**... !" The guy says "You would drink it fast if you have what I have." "Why what do you have ?" he asks. The guy says "$1.28 !"
