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Gulag Jokes

37 gulag jokes and hilarious gulag puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gulag that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Gulag jokes were a unique form of gallows humor used by Soviet prisoners of war to cope with the harsh conditions of their camps. This article explores the warzone gulag, its cosmonauts, espionage, and other stories of prisoners' defiance in the face of oppression. Learn how laughter and wit kept hope alive in the darkest corners of the Soviet Union.

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Funniest Gulag Short Jokes

Short gulag jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gulag humour may include short concentration camp jokes also.

  1. Her: Come over, Joseph! Stalin: Can't, I'm sending people to gulag
    Her: My parents aren't at home
    Stalin: I know
  2. A russian man was arrested... A man in russia was arrested and sentenced to 25yrs in gulag.
    He was sentenced 5yrs for saying gorbachev was an idiot, and a 20yr sentence for revealing state secrets.
  3. A man is sent to gulag for 20 years The guards ask: what did you do?
    The man replies: Nothing
    The guard angrily shouts: Liar! for nothing you get only 5 years
  4. I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag... 1 year for insulting a political officer,
    30 years for revealing a state secret
  5. A Russian boy sees his father being arrested by the FSB and asks, Papa, why are you being taken to the Gulag? The father replies, I don't know son, I'm not interested in politics.
  6. Journalist asks: -Comrade Stalin, do you have any hobby?
    -I collect jokes about me.
    -And how many have you collected so far?
    -About two and a half gulags.
  7. "Mr. Stalin, what's your hobby?" Stalin: My hobby?
    Interviewer: Yes.
    Stalin: Well, I collect political jokes.
    Interviewer: How many have you collected?
    Stalin: 2 and a half Gulags
  8. A girl approaches Stalin. "Do you want to come to my house?", she asks.
    "I can't, I'm sending people to Gulag", Stalin replies.
    "My parents aren't home..."
    "I know."
  9. Thinking about taking down the Communist government against all it's police forces? Gulag with that.
  10. Stalin took from the rich and gave it to the poor... ... and then he took both of them and put them into the Gulag for 25 years.

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Gulag One Liners

Which gulag one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gulag? I can suggest the ones about prison and soviet.

  1. You see comrade, there is no I in team But there is a U in gulag.
  2. How does Stalin drink water? Gulag gulag gulag.
  3. What is the least popular Russian beer? Gulager.
  4. You think you can escape Stalin's prison camps? Hah, gulag with that.
  5. Knock Knock *Who's there?*
    Putin
    *Putin who?*
    Putin you in the gulag.
  6. Roses are red, So is my flag
    I am KGB agent
    Get in GULAG
  7. What did the NKVD officer say to his son as he was being taken away? Gulag, son.
  8. What sound does Stalin make when he drinks? Gulag gulag gulag gulag
  9. Where do find feminists in Russia? Gulags
  10. What did the KGB man say to his son when he left for college? Gulag, son!
  11. Welcome to the Gulag. Gulag Gang. Gulag Gang. Gulag Gang. Gulag Gang.
  12. A russian man gets killed in a video game Freakin' gulag
  13. What did the KGB man say to the prisoner after he finished interrogating him? Gulag.
  14. Hey Girl Are You From Gulag?... Because you make my log goo...
  15. How do Soviet prison mates greet each other? Gulag to you too.

Gulag joke, How do Soviet prison mates greet each other?

Howlingly Hilarious Gulag Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about gulag you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soviet russia jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gulag pranks.

Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."

In Gulag

Inmates discussing what they were sent to Gulag for.
"I was always 5 minutes late, so they sent me here for sabotage. You?"
"I was always 5 minutes early, so they sent me here for espionage. How about you, comrade?"
"I was always on time, so they sent me here for harming Soviet economy by buying watch in capitalist country"

Three gulag inmates

"Three gulag inmates are telling each other what they're in for. The first one says: 'I was five minutes late for work, and they charged me with sabotage.'
The second says: 'For me it was just the opposite: I was five minutes early for work, and they charged me with espionage.'
The third one says: 'I got to work right on time, and they charged me with harming the Soviet economy by acquiring a watch in a capitalist country.'"

A new prisoner in the gulag is asked.....

"So how long are you in for?"
He replies, "Twenty years." The veteran prisoner is surprised: "Twenty?? What on earth could you have done?" The new man replies indignantly, "I did nothing, comrade! Honest!"
The veteran says, "But the sentence for doing nothing is only ten years."

Two prisoners are talking in a Soviet gulag...

One says: "We're really cut off from the news here. For instance, I never found out the result of the Fischer-Spassky chess match."
The other one replies: "Oh, I lost."

Two Gulag inmates are talking.

A: "What's your sentence?"
B: "Twenty years."
A: "Twenty years? What did you do?"
B: "I did nothing."
A: "Well that is impossible."
B: "Why is it impossible?"
A: "Because you get ten years for doing nothing."

A Russian joke

Russian joke:
A judge exists the courtroom laughing histerically:
"What is it?" asks a coleague
"I just heard the best joke ever!"
"What is it?"
"I can't tell you, I just sent some guy ten years to the Gulag for it."

3 Russian prisoners in a Gulag discuss their crimes

The first says, "I'm here because I spoke out against Nikolai Yezhov"
The second says, "I'm here because I spoke out in favor of Nikolai Yezhov"
Then, the two of them look at the third and recognize him. The third says, "Yes, it's me--Nikolai Yezhov"

Three political prisoners sit in a gulag prison...

One of the men asks the other, "What are you in for?"
He responds, "I opposed Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"
The first man replies "I supported Comrade Popov in 1938. How about you?" he asks the third man
The third man says "I am Comrade Popov."

Three men meet in a Soviet gulag.

They ask each other the reason for incarceration.
"I spoke in favour of Fyodor Antonovich.", says the first.
Surprised the second remarks, " I spoke against Fyodor Antonovich."
With a sigh the third one says,"I am Fyodor Antonovich."

KGB is Always Watching!

One night man tries escape from gulag.
Makes his way to cabin in middle of tundra. Inside is plain, but many family pictures on walls. He falls asleep. In middle of night he is put in sack and dragged out. The next morning he is shot like dog.
Pictures are windows. KGB always watching.

A new prisoner arrives at the gulag, and his fellow inmates ask what he was imprisoned for.

""Nothing! They gave me 10 years for nothing!", the new inmate said.
"Oh come on, don't lie to us!", replied the other inmate; "Everyone knows 'for nothing' is only 5 years!"

Funniest joke I've ever heard

A Soviet judge exits a courthouse after a trial. He is laughing hysterically as a friend greets him.
The friend asks, "Why are you laughing?"
The judge answers, "I think I just heard the funniest joke I've ever heard."
The friend says, "Come on, tell it to me."
The judge says, "I can't. I just sent someone to the Gulag for it!!"

Gulag joke, Funniest joke I've ever heard