guitars Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious guitars puns

A woman is accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars

The Judge asked "First time offender?"

She replied, "No, first time a Gibson, then a Fender."


A woman is in court..

A woman is in court charged with beating her husband to death with his guitars.
As she stands there, the judge is looking over her offences and asks;

First offender?

The woman replies 'No, first a Gibson then a Fender'.


For you guitarists out there...

After going through a brutal divorce, a woman decides to get revenge. She goes to get ex's house, and proceeds to destroy each and every one of his guitars. When she gets to court, the judge asks her;

"First offender?"

She replies; "No. First a Gibson, then a Fender."


A woman stood in court accused of attacking her musician husband with his own guitars.

The judge looked down from his elevated position and asked "First Offender?"

The accused replied "No your honour, first a Gibson then a Fender".


A woman was accused of attacking her husband

A woman was accused of attacking her husband with several guitars. When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?"
She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."


A local music shop is giving away free guitars!

No strings attached!


How are women and bass guitars similar.

It's a good idea to trim your nails before fingering them.


A woman is accused of beating her husband with his guitars.

During the arrest, the cop says, "first offender?"

The woman says "Nope, Gibson"


I like to de-stress by listening to U2 and pretending there's no guitars.

I find it really takes the edge off.


What do women and bass guitars have in common?

You have to slap them for people to think you're a good player


I love my guitar collection....

but one of the guitars is a bit different from the rest, I think he's a bit acoustic.


Not to Brag:

Not to brag, but I own the world's largest collection of air guitars.


I have a chronic fear of guitars.

They have too many frets.


Why were the Maple Leafs strumming guitars and singing sombrely on the ice?

They were playing the Blues


How are fish and guitars similar.

You can tuna fish and you can tuna guitar.


My friend had all of his guitars stolen, and he's real sad about it.

Can't even play the blues anymore.


What do you call a search for small guitars?

Uke hunt!


What kind of fish do guitars eat?



What do you call a music store that sells bass guitars for insects?

A Flea Market.


I like my guitars like I like my women.

Skinny, black and easy to finger


Why are strippers always shopping for g-strings?

Because they play their guitars too hard!


What did the guitars do when they were unhappy with their government?

Formed a coustic d'Γ©tat


Why won't Jonas Bjerre, Johan Wohlert nor Silas Utke Graae JΓΈrgensen use guitars?

Because guitars make music.


A woman was sent to court for assaulting her husband with his own guitars.

The judge asked, "first offender?"

"No, your honor. First, it was a gibson. Then, it was a fender."


A woman was in court being sentenced for beating her husband to death with his electric guitars...

Judge: First offender?

Woman: No, first a Gibson, then a Fender.


what do you call a drummer that hates guitars?

an instrumentalist!


What are the most funny Guitars jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Guitars? Well, here are the best Guitars dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Guitars pick up lines to share with friends.


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