Guitarist Jokes
103 guitarist jokes and hilarious guitarist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about guitarist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
No musician’s life is complete without a few funny jokes! Get ready to laugh with this collection of jokes about guitarists and playing the guitar. From talking about the differences between a lead and a bass guitarist, to jokes about a bad rhythm guitarist, and even ones about jazz and treble. Read through these jokes and let the laughter flow!
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Funniest Guitarist Short Jokes
Short guitarist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The guitarist humour may include short guitar player jokes also.
- What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.
- What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? A bassist.
(Don't get triggered, I play bass and I find this funny) - What did the guitarist say to the accordion player? Your instrument sounds like a dying cat, but at least it’s not a banjo.
- It's the year 2295... Dude: I'm a classically trained guitarist.
Neo-90s Kid: Radical!
Dude: So anyway, here's Wonderwall. - They say I play like a prison guitarist I'm always behind a few bars, and I can never find the right keys
- Why do women throw underwear at guitarists at concerts? Just in case their G-string breaks.
- I heard an Iraqi guitar tutor is offering to teach guitarists songs in obscure tunings Lessons will be in BAGDAD
- A guitarist met a bassist and they had a jam... After a while, the bassist stopped and said:
"That is very good and all, but why won't you play A?"
The guitarist replied "because 440 Hz" - A band visited the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone without a guide. Everyone suffered from radiation poisoning, except the lead guitarist.
- What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a folk guitarist? A rock guitarist can play all night without tuning and folk guitarist can tune all night without playing.
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Guitarist One Liners
Which guitarist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with guitarist? I can suggest the ones about musician and guitar playing.
- How many guitarists does it take to play Wonderwall? Apparently, all of them.
- What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist? By selling your guitar.
- Why are bass guitarists always safe? Because they stay out of treble.
- How many guitarist does it take to play stairway to heaven? Apparently all of them
- What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig? "...Would you like fries with that?"
- You hear about the legendary guitarist that had no vehicle ? Carless Santana
- How did the guitarist die? He crashed his pickup into a bridge and broke his neck.
- How does a bass player pick up girls? He says "Hi I'm a guitarist"
- What to you call a Guitarist with no arms? An Amputee.
- How do you invite a guitarist to a party? Chordially.
- How many guitarists does it take to cover 'Dust In The Wind'? Evidently all of them.
- How many guitars does a guitarist need? Just one more.
- What's a guitarist favour type of cheese? Shredded cheese
- Why did the guitarist get arrested? Because he kept plucking minors.
- Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground? It didn't have any pickups
Guitarist Bass Jokes
Here is a list of funny guitarist bass jokes and even better guitarist bass puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are bass guitarists always standing at the front door? Because they don't know when to come in.
- There are 10 types of guitarists in the world: those that can only strum a 6 string... ...and those that know bass too.
- If a guitar player is a guitarist and a bass player is a bassist, what is a lyre player? A hipster.
- What's the fastest way to make money as a bass guitarist? Trade your 'need food' sign for one that says 'no amp'
- How does a guitarist protect his guitar from being stolen? He stores in a bass case.
Drummer Guitarist Jokes
Here is a list of funny drummer guitarist jokes and even better drummer guitarist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you say when there's a singer, guitarist, bassist, and a drummer in a boat? Abandon ship
Lead Guitarist Jokes
Here is a list of funny lead guitarist jokes and even better lead guitarist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Knock knock Who's there?
Pete Townshend was lead guitarist for the.
Pete Townshend was lead guitarist for the who?
Yes. - How much talent did the lead guitarist of Cream have? A Clap-Ton.
- What did Ozzy Osbourne say when his lead guitarist died? "Where we're going, we don't need Rhoads!"
Silly Guitarist Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about guitarist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean play guitar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make guitarist pranks.
The Edge walks into a bar.
U2 guitarist The Edge walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll ......................................... have a pint of Guinness."
The bartender replies "What's with all the delay?"
A date with the lead guitarist
(oc)
This groupie finally got a date with the lead guitarist of her band.
The next day, her friends asked her how things went. "Well", she replied, "it was frustrating... the guy spent half his time tuning up and the other half playing out of rhythm."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Musician Jokes
Q: how do you get a guitarist off your porch?
A: pay for the pizza
Q: how many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 6. One to change it and 5 to sing about how good the old one was.
Q:what did the drummer get on his I.Q test?
A: saliva.
What did the guitarist say to the magician...
Pick a chord, any chord.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
B'dum tsss
A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.
**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.
1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted
4. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality
5. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither
6. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?"
7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: One to screw it in, four to say that Neil Peart could've done it better
8. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So that they can use the handicapped parking space
9. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Give him the money for the pizza
10. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer
Anyone got any more?
Musician's Joke: The guitarist of a band walks into their rehearsal room and sees the bassist and the drummer having an argument
Guitarist: "Why are you arguing?"
Bassist: "The drummer detuned one of my strings."
Guitarist: "So what's the problem?"
Bassist: "He won't tell me which one!"
So there's a rock band playing a concert...
And they're almost at the end of their set and exhausted, and their minds start to wander. The guitarist looks out into the crowd and thinks to himself "gee, that girl in the front row is pretty cute, I should see if I can get her to come backstage after the show". The drummer thinks to himself "gee, after this gig I'll be able to afford a new high hat!" All the while, the bassist is up there thinkin "gee....D....F...."
A wavy guitarist has a low self esteem
He just wanted to B-flat
Can I borrow your G-String? Mine broke...
said one guitarist to the other
How do you know a guitarist is sad?
They start to fret.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate guitarists...
They're so picky.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Musicians are perverts.
The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly f**... minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[dirty] what do guitarists wear during s**...
G Strings
How do metal guitarists handle their expensive instruments?
Very Djently.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a t**...?
You can actually negotiate with a t**....
Bob was a great guitarist
Until the day he stepped in a puddle while playing his Fender Strat, that was the moment he became a great conductor.
The singer thought he was the boss of the band
but it was the guitarist who pulled all the strings.
What do you call an acclaimed guitarist who raises chickens?
A Hen-drix
In the recent news of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds both passing away...
...Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, has confirmed to still be alive.
Why did the hovering guitarist always look worried?
He was always fretting over something or other...
How do you become as good a guitarist as Steve Vai?
You take your Vaitamins.
Why was the guitarist banned from church?
Because he struck a Gsus
How many guitarists does it take to replace a light bulb?
2. One to screw it in, and one to say he could do it better.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
guitarists are pretty good as bisexual lovers
on the one hand, their f**... must be pretty good; on the other, their wrist action must be pretty good too.
I may be a Canadian blues guitarist...
..but I'm not your Buddy Guy.
A guitarist traveled back in time to the Medieval Ages and became an apprentice to a noble knight
He was a squier.
A local guitarist went to jail today
It was a major incident that involved a few minors and some g-strings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guitarist died and his family had no means of paying for the f**... expenses.
Guess you could say they had a lot to fret about.
Why don't guitarists like ukuleles?
Because they don't fret the small stuff
My friend was a pretty good guitarist
But that one time he stepped in a puddle while playing his electric guitar on an old, badly grounded amp, he became a great conductor.
Why did the anxious guitarist quit the band?
He didn't want to fret anymore.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Roy Moore and a guitarist have in common?
They both enjoy f**... minors.
A rock guitarist plays 3 chords in front of 1.5 million people
but a jazz guitarist plays 1.5 million chords in front of 3 people
Why Is it difficult to cook for a guitarist?
Because they're so picky
A man asked Satan...
"How can I become the best guitarist in the world?"
Satan answered, "Give me your soul."
The man was bewildered. "What if I gave you a dollar instead?"
Satan smiled. "Then I'll make you the best bass player in the world."
What does the guitarist of the Black Keys do on Daylight Savings time?
He sets his clock an Auerbach.
What do you call a guitarist who only knows two chords ?
A music critic
What is a Guitarist's preferred laptop?
Asus
How do you know the guitarist is at the door?
He's got the wrong key, doesn't know when to come in.
-Nick Mason
What Did The Can Of Duster Say To The Guitarist?
Needs more wah.
Why Did Michael Jackson's Guitarist Quit?
Because Michael kept asking him to pull down the G string and Drop the D into A minor.
Did you hear about the guitarist who was recently detained for suspected crimes of terrorism?
They had to pull some strings but they finally got that confession.
Why are violinists braver than guitarists?
They never fret.
Why did the girl become s guitarist?
To play herself
Q. Which shredding guitarist is best for putting out electrical fires?
A. Eddie Van Halon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend got arrested for saying he was an axe m**....
Turns out he's just a really bad guitarist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do women like guitarists?
Because they are good at f**....
Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?
Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.
You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Rockin World go round.'
