Guitar Playing Jokes
111 guitar playing jokes and hilarious guitar playing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about guitar playing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Guitar Playing Short Jokes
Short guitar playing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The guitar playing humour may include short guitar player jokes also.
- A friend gave me a free guitar the other day, but I've been having trouble playing it I guess I can't complain though, it's not often someone just gives you something with no strings attached
- My wife rotates playing her guitar, drum, or flute once a month. It's part of her minstrel cycle.
- I was carrying my ukulele in its case at school and my friend asked, "You play an instrument?". I replied, "Yeah, I play a little guitar."
- A woman approaches me as I'm playing my guitar. "Excuse me, is that a Squier Stratocaster?" I may have overreacted when I responded: "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY FENDER?!"
- My friend's worried he's addicted to playing guitar I told him not to fret but he says he can't help it
- Why are accordions better than guitars? You can play both melody and harmony at the same time, so you don’t need any friends.
- I got kicked out of band camp for trying to play a guitar with a bow. They said I violated it.
- Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. - When playing the guitar in public... keep in mind not to finger A minor, you could get arrested.
- I'm learning how to play the neurotic guitar. It's a lot like an acoustic guitar but it's a little more high strung.
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Guitar Playing One Liners
Which guitar playing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with guitar playing? I can suggest the ones about play guitar and guitar.
- My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall on the guitar. I said "maybe".
- What did al gore play on his guitar? An algorithm.
- What does former Vice President Gore play on the guitar? An algorithm
- Piracy is killing the music industry I mean, have you tried playing guitar with a hook?
- My friend told me he's worried about his guitar playing addiction. I told him don't fret.
- I always thought about playing the guitar But there were just too many strings attached
- What did the mathematician play on his guitar? An algo-rhythm
- What type of guitar does a pigeon play? A-coo-stick.
- I saw someone playing the guitar with a pool stick. It was acoustic.
- How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar? He shreds.
- My son told me I need to stop playing wonderwall on guitar I said maybe..
- I play a little guitar But I'm saving up for a big one.
- What do you call an abominable snowman that plays the guitar? Yeti Van Halen.
- How do you call a bunch of strawberries playing the guitar? A jam session.
- What instrument did the chemist play in the band? The base guitar.
Guitar Playing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about guitar playing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean playing instruments jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make guitar playing pranks.
A man with a broken hand says to doctor, "Will I be able to play guitar after the operation on my hand?" The doctor says, "Yes of course." "That's great! I never could before."
Every time I see a white guy with a guitar at a party I ask myself...
I wonderwall he's going to play?
Blind people can't play guitar
because they can't C sharp.
My friend broke a string playing the guitar. I told him...
...don't fret it.
Took my guitar to an open mic night at a bar. Yea, it s**... cuz they made me play one less chord.
Guess one of 'em was a minor.
50th Anniversary Tour
This year, 60s rock group The Byrds will be embarking on a tour of the United States for the 50th anniversary of their formation. The band announced that former President George Bush will be joining them on stage for several of their songs, however, Bush will be playing both guitar and keyboards in order to cut costs. This just goes to show that a Bush in the band is worth two of the Byrds.
So I sold my guitar...
I sold my guitar to a man with no hands.
So I said to him: "So how are you gonna work that then?"
He shrugged and said: "I'll play it by ear."
All Gratuities payable towards My Uncle Chris.
Talented Octopus
A man walks into a bar with and octopus under his arms. He then stands up on the bar and shouts for everyone inside to hear. "I will bet anyone here 200 dollars that this octopus can play any instrument you give it". Everyone is a buzz and the bartender hands him a guitar that was hanging on the wall. The Octopus takes the guitar and strums on it with great enthusiasm and plays a beautiful arrangement. Another man pulls a harmonica out of his pocket and again, the octopus plays it superbly. A jazz band hands him all of there instruments and the octopus plays them all with amazing skill. Then, a Scottish man wearing a kilt comes up to the octopus and hands it his bagpipes. The octopus, looks at it confusingly then begins to fumble with the instrument. "Ay, you can't play er, can ye" The Scotsman says with a thick accent. The octopus responds "Play her? I'm going to screw her as soon as I get these pajamas off"
So me and my p**... friends have a weekly gathering...
Every week one of us brings a talent down the pub to show the others - this time it was my turn.
I brought along my guitar and after some Dutch courage I began to play.
Within a few seconds of starting the guys started cheering me on, one of them was even weeping, saying how amazing the song was.
I had no idea what the big deal was, I was just f**... A minor.
A girl i was picking up in a bar once said...
..'I don't think i've ever had s**... with a guy whose been playing guitar at the same time' I replied 'Well... I don't know how many songs i can play in 17 seconds'
A v**... fingers his girlfriend for the first time
The woman with bated breath exclaims "I thought you were a v**..." the man replies " I am but i also play the guitar"
A couple weeks ago I saw a sign on a telephone pole that said "learn guitar in 30 days."
I can't wait. Just a few more days and I'll be able to play the guitar.
How does a dog play Hendrix on guitar?
With a chihuahua pedal.
Got arrested for playing the guitar.
Because I was f**... A minor.
Today I broke a G string while f**... A minor
d**..., playing guitar is hard!
I get suicidal when I play guitar
So I don't fret about it
Sorry [8]
My friend had all of his guitars stolen, and he's real sad about it.
Can't even play the blues anymore.
If your playing the guitar just remember one thing
Dont finger a minor you could get arrested for that.
I was at a party playing guitar once
and somebody asked me if I could play Wonderwall
I said maybe
What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player?
One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick.
Was at a party the other day, there was a guitar there. I picked it up and someone asked if I could play wonderwall
I said maybe
Why did Gary Glitter never play major chords on his guitar?
Because he exclusively fingered minors.
What do chemists say when they wanna play a song at guitar?
"Anyway, here's van der Waal."
A friend walked up to me while I was playing guitar and said "Sick strat, bro"
I said "Did you just assume my fender? you bigot?"
Jarred from subway started playing guitar in jail.
It's the only way he can legally finger a minor.
Playing guitar is a sin...
...after all, Jesus told his disciples to "fret not."
Who invented mince?
A l**... playing guitar.
Me, neighbor and cops are making a band
I play electric guitar, Cops are playing drums on the door and neighbor sings outside the window.
What did the Russian monarch's guitar playing son want to be when he grew up?
A rocktsar
I play guitar underwater
To drown my solos.
I asked my doctor...
Hey will I be able to play guitar after my hand operation?
Yes.
Oh that's great because I can't play a lick now.
I've been trying to learn how to play Sublime songs on guitar...
I haven't made any progress yet because I don't practice Santeria.
Why does Snoop Dogg always have that guitar on stage but yet he never plays it?
For show.
I sold my guitar to a man with no arms
I said to him "How will this work?"
And he replied "I'm not sure, I'll play it by ear"
Doc, will I be able to play guitar after my arm heals?
Doc: Of course
Dude: Sick! I couldn't do that before!
I'm a chemist and I can play the guitar
Anyway, here's Van der Waal
A man walks into a doctor's office with a broken arm.
He asks the doctor, "Doc, when my arm is healed, will I be able to play guitar?"
Doctor: "Well the fracture doesn't appear to be too bad, so yes you should be able to when it's all healed"
Man: "That's fantastic news! I've always wanted to be able to play guitar."
My friend was a pretty good guitarist
But that one time he stepped in a puddle while playing his electric guitar on an old, badly grounded amp, he became a great conductor.
Learning to the play the guitar is rather simple.
You don't have to fret about it.
A guitar player was panicking because he couldn't play his open strings
His instructor told him don't fret
Why did the air guitar champion not play at the finals?
His guitar was stolen.
What was the first song the chemist learned to play on the guitar?
I think I need glasses for playing the guitar.
I can't even C#
I sold my guitar to a bloke with no arms recently.
I asked him how it was going to work, he replied, "I'm going to play it by ear"
Boll Weavels
There were two brothers that happened to be boll weavels. One brother desired more than just to destroy crops and learned to play guitar. He got so good, he became a successful country music star.
His brother just stayed home and slept. You could say he was the lesser of two weavels.
Why were the Maple Leafs strumming guitars and singing sombrely on the ice?
They were playing the Blues
I built the most American guitar ever
Made completely out of mirror polished, stainless steel from the World Trade Center in the shape of a bald eagle carrying a rifle.
Only has one octave, but I enjoy playing it, from C to shining C.
I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of Free bird being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.
Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.
I had a dream last night...
In my dream I was watching a band play. Buddha was playing guitar, Jesus was playing bass, Mohammed was singing, and Zeus was playing the drums. After the show, Zeus came down and gave me a large metal disc. I think it was a cymbal from god.
I've been playing the same guitar for fifty years.
We have a mahoganous relationship.
Can the queen play the guitar?
No but Brian May
You're worried that you're a guitar player who can't play open strings.
Don't fret.
What do you call a biscuit that's terrible at playing the guitar?
A dodgy jammer
What do people with a speech impediment play on guitar
Thongs
How did the amateur bass player introduce himself?
Hey guys, so I play the guitar, lowkey
Teach a man a guitar and he'll play for a day.
Give a man a guitar and today's gonna be the day that they're gonna give it back to you.
They say Jimi Hendrix was so good at playing guitar he could play in his sleep
too bad he wasn't that good at throwing up
They just invented a mobile computing device that also plays guitar
The "Eric Claptop"
What does a l**... make when they play guitar?
Minced meat
I'm bisexual and I play bass and electric guitar
I suppose I string both ways
Your new tinder bio
I only know how to play a little bit on the guitar, but I definitely know my way around a G-string
What do you call a female police officer playing guitar?
She riff
My 7 year old just came up with these Avatar: The Last Airbender jokes. We were quite surprised.
What kind of music does Toph like?
- Rock-and-Roll
What kind of instrument does Aang play?
- Air guitar
I know it's not much, but I got a kick out of his reasoning and decided to share.
What do playing a guitar and running a marathon have in common?
I can't do either of them.
No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
I play a little guitar!"