Guitar Jokes

Funniest Guitar Short Jokes

Short guitar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The guitar humour may include short musical instrument jokes also.

1. A friend gave me a free guitar the other day, but I've been having trouble playing it I guess I can't complain though, it's not often someone just gives you something with no strings attached
2. My wife rotates playing her guitar, drum, or flute once a month. It's part of her minstrel cycle.
3. What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
4. For sale: Guitar
   Yoyo
   puppet
   Kite
   £5 for the lot
   Genuine reason for sale
   No strings attached
5. This guy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.... I said, Is that a fret?
6. I was carrying my ukulele in its case at school and my friend asked, "You play an instrument?". I replied, "Yeah, I play a little guitar."
7. How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb? Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, "Pssh, I can do that."
8. A woman approaches me as I'm playing my guitar. "Excuse me, is that a Squier Stratocaster?" I may have overreacted when I responded: "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY FENDER?!"
9. My friend's worried he's addicted to playing guitar I told him not to fret but he says he can't help it
10. So, I have had a pretty weird morning... First I find a hat filled with money, and then out of nowhere I get randomly chased by an angry man with a guitar!

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Guitar One Liners

Which guitar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with guitar? I can suggest the ones about piano and saxophone.

1. I was cleaning one of my finger guns. I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
2. My friends are like my guitar. I don't have a guitar...
3. What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter? amanda Lynn
4. What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist? By selling your guitar.
5. What did al gore play on his guitar? An algorithm.
6. Someone said they'd attack me with the neck of their guitar... "Is that a fret?"
7. I used to be ugly, but then I bought an acoustic guitar Now I'm ugly and annoying
8. I'm about to reveal a secret to being an excellent guitar player Stay tuned
9. What's the difference between a guitar player and a couch? A couch can support a family.
10. How do you get a guitar player to shut up? Put sheet music in front of him
11. I always keep my guitar in my car It's good for traffic jams
12. How do you protect your accordion from being stolen? Put it in a guitar case.
13. Do you want to know the secret of making your guitar sound better? If so, stay tuned.
14. What's a priests favourite chord on a guitar A minor
15. What does former Vice President Gore play on the guitar? An algorithm

Guitar Playing Jokes

Here is a list of funny guitar playing jokes and even better guitar playing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why are accordions better than guitars? You can play both melody and harmony at the same time, so you don’t need any friends.
• I got kicked out of band camp for trying to play a guitar with a bow. They said I violated it.
• Piracy is killing the music industry I mean, have you tried playing guitar with a hook?
• When playing the guitar in public... keep in mind not to finger A minor, you could get arrested.
• I'm learning how to play the neurotic guitar. It's a lot like an acoustic guitar but it's a little more high strung.
• No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say... I play a little guitar!"
• I always thought about playing the guitar But there were just too many strings attached
• A guitar player was panicking because he couldn't play his open strings His instructor told him don't fret
• What do chemists say when they wanna play a song at guitar? "Anyway, here's van der Waal."
• I sold my guitar to a man with no arms I said to him "How will this work?"
  And he replied "I'm not sure, I'll play it by ear"

Play Guitar Jokes

Here is a list of funny play guitar jokes and even better play guitar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was at a party playing guitar once and somebody asked me if I could play Wonderwall
  I said maybe
• Me, neighbor and cops are making a band I play electric guitar, Cops are playing drums on the door and neighbor sings outside the window.
• What did the mathematician play on his guitar? An algo-rhythm
• I saw someone playing the guitar with a pool stick. It was acoustic.
• How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar? He shreds.
• At my restaurant job, everyone who works in the kitchen is also a musician. The dishwasher plays guitar OK, but the prep cook shreds on the mandoline.
• What do playing a guitar and running a marathon have in common? I can't do either of them.
• since we live in Birmingham, I thought it would be a good idea to learn how to play home sweet Alabama on my guitar and play it for my sister. She wasn't impressed, but our kids loved it!
• My son told me I need to stop playing wonderwall on guitar I said maybe..
• I play a little guitar But I'm saving up for a big one.

Guitar Strings Jokes

Here is a list of funny guitar strings jokes and even better guitar strings puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the guitar at the music store say to the customer browsing through their selection of stringed instruments? "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!!!!"
• A little guitar humor I broke a g-string trying to finger A minor
• What's the difference between Netflix and a Bass guitar? Netflix has stranger things 4 and a Bass guitar has 4 Strange Strings.
• I'm selling a guitar for £5 No strings attached.
• What does a stripper and a guitar have in common? The G-String is always going off.
• Walking down the street today someone handed me a free air guitar... No strings attached...
• I got a pretty sweet deal at a music shop for a vintage guitar Should've known it came with strings attached
• I once met a very misfortunate polyamorous musician He was in a no strings attached relationship with his guitar.
• Just bought a guitar. The sale felt a little dodgy, lots of strings attached.
• What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend? My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Guitar Player Jokes

Here is a list of funny guitar player jokes and even better guitar player puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp? Give him sheet music.
• Why are guys always looking at girl guitar players? They're checking out their G-Strings
• Guitar players are actually quite a religious bunch... They've all found Gsus at some point.
• What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player? One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick.
• The bacteria on U2's guitar player are total badasses. They are living on The Edge.
• What do women and bass guitars have in common? You have to slap them for people to think you're a good player
• Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player? He kept trying to tune her G string.
• How did the amateur bass player introduce himself? Hey guys, so I play the guitar, lowkey
• You're worried that you're a guitar player who can't play open strings. Don't fret.
• Did you hear about the guitar player with insomnia? He was having fretful dreams.

Guitar Pick Jokes

Here is a list of funny guitar pick jokes and even better guitar pick puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear about the autistic guitar pick? He's a plectrum on the spectrum.
• I'm OK at guitar but I can't pick up the piano.
• I went to the doctor and said my family are all sick of me playing the guitar He said, if you keep picking it they won't ever get well.
• When I finally found the perfect guitar plectrum... I knew it was a good pick.
• I like my women like I like my guitar picks Thiccc
• Why do girls fall for guitar players? They have good picks
• Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.

Charming Humor Guitar Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about guitar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean playing instruments jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make guitar pranks.