Guinea Pig Jokes

Funniest Guinea Pig Short Jokes

Short guinea pig jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The guinea pig humour may include short piglet jokes also.

1. A Guinea pig is the perfect pet.... They only live for 5 days and you don't have to feed or water them.
2. Grampa O'Malley A little boy asks Grandpa O'Malley, "Can I have five bucks to buy a guinea pig?"
   "Here," says the old man as he hands the boy a $10 bill. "Go get yourself a nice Irish girl instead."
3. A mother brings another hamster home to her son. Excited, he runs to his father and says... "Papua, New Guinea pig!"
4. What can get disease and will never live past 4? A guinea pig you vaccine loving autist!
   Btw I'm pro vax just thought this was funny.
5. Guinea Pigs? I've often wondered what you call a guinea pig who is the first one to try something in his group of friends
6. I was a Guinea pig in a new drug trial recently. Then it wore off and I was a boring old human again
7. Guinea Pig, in and of it self is not offensive... I bought my kids a cute Guinea Pig - fine
   Your wife is a fat Guinea pig, not so much
8. The US Government spent $365,000 to test the effect of c**... on quails' s**... drive... The study has been met with fierce criticism by guinea pigs.
9. My doctor says the key to a healthy brain is regular mental exercise. So every morning I do some star jumps with a guinea pig sellotaped to my n**....
10. It took dozens and dozens of flushes, and a plunger, but... my guinea pig's f**... is finally over.

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Guinea Pig One Liners

Which guinea pig one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with guinea pig? I can suggest the ones about swine and little pigs.

1. Where did the guinea pig end up when it came out of the closet? Gnawnia
2. Where did the guinea pig go when the pet shop exploded? Everywhere.
3. What is a guinea pig's favorite unit of time? Wheeks.
   I'm sorry.
4. What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia? A hamster
5. What do you call an anorexic Guinea pig? A skinny pig.
6. What do you call someone who hoards old English coins? A guinea pig
7. I drove my sister's guinea pig to the vet this morning. My new golf clubs work great!
8. I bought a guinea pig today. Sorry, Italian-American pig.
9. Why don't I take my guinea pigs on walksies It's hard on my cavies
10. What do you call an Italian cop? A guinea pig.
11. Did you know guinea pigs die after having s**...? ... at least the one I shagged did
12. How often do guinea pigs have s**...? Once a wheek wheek wheek wheek!
13. How many kilos of m**... do you need to kill a guinea pig?

Amusing Guinea Pig Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about guinea pig you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pigs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make guinea pig pranks.