The Best 36 Guessing Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Guessing jokes. There are some guessing multiplayer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these guessing guess who puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Guessing Jokes and Puns

Little Ghost

So this little ghost floated by my room twice headed the same direction: left to right, left to right. I'm guessing it was just deja boo.

Taste the soup

A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.

The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...

-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.

-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!

The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?

Two Russian sailors decide to quit drinking,

but they still have a bottle of vodka left, and they refuse to let it go to waste, so one says:" Anatoli, i shall hold the bottle in one hand behind my back, if you can guess which one, we will drink it, if not, i will throw it overboard." They agree on this. The first sailor hides the bottle, the second guesses:"Left!"
"Keep guessing, Anatoli, keep guessing."

Guessing joke, Two Russian sailors decide to quit drinking,

What do you call a master at guessing Anime characters?


So with the iPhone 6S coming out...

I'm guessing it will be a huge 6-s.

I met a local girl when I was in Shanghai, I asked her if she could escort me

for a city tour and asked for her mobile number, so I could call her.
She got excited and said: "sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight"
Wow, I'm guessing this is how Chinese women express their hospitality!
But then, My friend interpreted for me & told me what she really said : 666136429.

Everyone keeps guessing who Rey's parents are, but who delivered her as a baby?

OB-Gyn Kenobi

Guessing joke, Everyone keeps guessing who Rey's parents are, but who delivered her as a baby?

We Played the Guessing Game

Mom: What did you do at school today?

Mark: We played a guessing game.

Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam?

Mark: That's right.

I took a drug test today...

I'm guessing I passed, I got a THC+.

I've been trying to play two truths and a lie on chatroulette..

Kept guessing that they are playing pantless was the lie..

I've no idea why I'm a virgin.

But I'm guessing it's because my Siamese twin is really ugly.

You can explore guessing zootopia reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean guessing bleachers dad jokes. There are also guessing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I'm guessing Trump has been Rick Rolled too many times ...

Because he just gave you up, let you down and deserted you.

Not making it up: I actually saw a turn signal used on a BMW.

I'm guessing it was borrowed.

Google - Boy or Girl?

Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
Student: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....and
you ask only one question.....
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

Is Google a boy or a girl ?

Google is a Girl because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and starts guessing, suggesting and
you ask only one question,
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.

Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."

Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."


Officer: "Wow, I couldn't do that sober."

Driver: "Me neither."

Guessing joke, A Driver gets Pulled Over

I'm guessing you guys have heard of Murphy's Law, right? It's the cynical principal that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole's Law?

It's thinly sliced cabbage.

A man rubs a lamp and a genie pops out and grants him a wish.

Genie: What is it you wish for mortal?

Man: Well, I'd like to stop second guessing myself all the time.

Genie: Really?, Is that what you really want to wish for?

Man: Hey, its my wish so I get to-...Heyy!

Guess what?

I don't like guessing games.

My absolute favorite thing ever in the whole world has to be exaggeration.

No wait, second guessing. Yeah second guessing is my favorite thing.

People often say I'm introverted and shy. They never seem to say that when I draw

Guessing it's probably the barrel they're suddenly looking into.

What did the cat say in the race car?


Context: My 5 year old told me this today. I'm guessing he didn't make it up...

When is the worst time to have a heart attack?

When you are playing charade... especially when your teammate is a bad at guessing.

A new business opened up down the st called the carpet exchange

I'm guessing it's the new lesbian bar in town.

I'm guessing that the Banksy painting was from Lars Ulrich's collection.

Seeing as how it was Hardwired to Self-Destruct.

Started my new job yesterday at O2....

I'm guessing it went well as my boss didn't call me......

I got fired from my job by a jealous manager for breaking too many records.

I'm guessing that the vintage music industry is just not for me...

For some reason, I never could get into the male emo bands of the 00s.

I'm guessing it's because there was just too much wangst.

Not to brag, but I have a psychic ability of guessing what is inside a wrapped present.

You can say....It's a gift.

A travelling salesman walks into a bar...

He's going over the menu when a local guy slides onto the stool next to him, and just says one word: Waterloo.

Guessing he's onto something of a local speciality, he asks for one himself. He takes a deep swig and pulls a face: This doesn't taste like anything at all!!! he exclaims.

The local guy asks the bartender: Well, what did he expect? It's a water, innit Lou?

A man noticed that his friend only smoked two cigarettes at a time.

He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. He told me to smoke for him too"

Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! Your brother finished his sentence?"

His friend said: "No, I quit smoking"

I heard a chicken in my attic, but I've never seen one in my house before

I'm guessing it's a poultrygeist

I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today...

Well I'm guessing she was poor. She only had $1.00 in her purse.

Girl guides

I was accompanying my eight-year-old daughter who was
selling cookies door-to-door for the Girl Scouts. After visiting
several homes, she commented on the different styles of
doorbells: some buzzed, some rang, some warbled.

We made a game of guessing what the next bell would sound like.

At the precise moment she touched the doorbell at one house,
the church tower began to chime. She wheeled around with a look
of amazement on her face. "Now THAT'S a a door bell"

My gf told me if I trimmed my bush it would make my deck bigger

She's been spending a lot of time with the landscaper so I'm guessing she learned it from him

Mom: What did you do at school today?

Me: We did a guessing game

Mom: But I thought you had a math exam.

Me: That's right!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the guessing chapman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working guessing guessing game piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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