Guess Jokes

Funniest Guess Short Jokes

Short guess jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The guess humour may include short predict jokes also.

1. Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples to orange is unfair.
   
2. Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.
3. A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!' 'Mmm?'
   'Not that many!'
4. In exactly 3030 years, there's a chance things could be really good, and theres a chance things could be really bad I guess it will be 5050
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5. In Britain we call it a "lift" but Americans call it an "elevator". I guess we're just raised differently.
6. I asked my wife, I'm stuck on this crossword clue Overworked postman — can you help? She said, Sure. How many letters?
   Me: I'm guessing—- Too many.
7. I bought a locket today and put my own picture in it. Guess now I really am.... Independent
8. I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family. They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.
   I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.
9. So I put a giant map of the world up on the wall and gave my wife a dart. I told her wherever it lands is where we go on holiday. I guess we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
10. I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.. Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog...

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Guess One Liners

Which guess one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with guess? I can suggest the ones about estimate and hint.

1. I never understood school shooting jokes I guess they're aimed at a younger audience...
2. My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
3. Guess who woke up with 20 missed calls from his ex? My ex.
4. What vegetable do you need when you get a flat tire? A-spare-I-guess.
5. What does a vegetable get in bowling? A-spare-I-guess
6. I witnessed the break up of an obese couple I guess they didn't work out.
7. I dated a blind girl and she broke up with me. Guess who's back with a different voice
8. Did you hear about the stolen Tesla? I guess now it's an Edison
9. I proposed to my girlfriend at the gym and she said "no." I guess it didn't workout.
10. Guess what came in the mail today I did, I ran out of tissue.
11. Saw a falcon eating avocado toast. Guess it's a millennial falcon.
12. I capture lions for a living... I guess you could say I take pride in my work.
13. GUESS WHAT I SAW! Wood.
14. The Ketchup shortage this year was so predictable. But I guess Heinz sight is 2020
15. My sister said I'm being immature. I guess she isn't getting her nose back

Guess Who Jokes

Here is a list of funny guess who jokes and even better guess who puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My buddy just got a job in marketing with Kellogg's cereals... I guess you could say his job is Raisin Bran awareness.
• My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data. I guess the N's justify the means.
• I told god a Holocaust joke. He didn't laugh. after a moment of awkward silence, I said: "Well I guess you should have been there".
• What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes? I guess you had to be there.
• Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was... ...an ether/oar situation.
• My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore.
• My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" My mom answered "Who?"
  "Your daughter"
  courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago
• My coworker just found out she won't be able to attend next week's Innuendo Conference… I guess I'll have to fill her slot instead.
• A friend gave me a free guitar the other day, but I've been having trouble playing it I guess I can't complain though, it's not often someone just gives you something with no strings attached
• My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants... Guess I won't be needing those anymore.

Let Me Guess Jokes

Here is a list of funny let me guess jokes and even better let me guess puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I don't hear people talk about beyblade anymore.. Guess they've just let it r.i.p.
• I believe every child should be given a chance... ...and that's why if they can guess the number I'm thinking of, I'll let them go...
• I tried to cheer my mentally challenged friend up... ...but I guess I shouldn't have said "Don't let an extra chromosome get you down."
• Let's play Clue: Royal Edition I'm guessing Charles, with a pillow, in the bedroom.
• I let my goats get whatever they want, they are spoiled rotten I guess you could say I have a bleeting heart
• I got fired from my job for assuring my clients that I will never let them down I guess being an elevator operator isn't my forte
• I stopped using my Bayblades I guess I.... let them RIP
• So, this fortune teller came in to buy a sweatshirt, but we were out of her size... Let me guess. She's a medium?
• My mom and dad insist that i pay them for letting me stay in their basement I guess thats why they're called PAYRENTS
• I guess this is why they don't let kids be lawyers You just know one would've gotten Jared off.

Guess What Happened Jokes

Here is a list of funny guess what happened jokes and even better guess what happened puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My grandfather handed me an antique clock, but it was missing its minute hand and hour hand I guess that's what happens when you get a second hand clock
• My plan for tomorrow is to get some new glasses After that I guess I'll just see what happens
• I've had my gym subscription for 4 months now and nothing has changed Guess I'll have to go there personally and see what's happening
• a caring mother makes her son loafs of bread shaped like batman, to make his sandwiches fun every time. guess what happens when it's in the oven? the dark knight rises.
• A man steals and crashes a train and is then given the electric chair, but nothing happens. guess he was a bad conductor
• Do you know what happens when your designer jeans get tangled in the dryer? Guess knot
• A blind man is being interviewed about an experimental procedure to restore his sight A reporter asks him what he thinks will happen.
  The blind man responds, I don't know, I guess I'll see.
• It appears that Jared Fogle has gain 30lbs since going to jail I guess that's what happens when you stop the child portions
• I've been getting in touch with my inner self recently... ...but I guess that's just what happens when you get single ply toilet paper.
• I didn't believe it when they told me the government had accidentally opened a portal to another dimension while trying to spy on the Russians... But I guess stranger things have happened.

Guess What Love Jokes

Here is a list of funny guess what love jokes and even better guess what love puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer... Plus it's super fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.
• My wife fell in love with me again during covid-19 I guess you could call it stuck-home syndrome
• My girlfriend left me for telling too many bad jokes... I guess her love was pun-conditional.
• Einstein's second wife was his cousin ... ... so I guess sometimes love is relative.
• Gf tells me "to make love like to me like they do in the movies".. Long story short..Im due in court soon. Guess we don't watch the same kind of movies.
• I got a black eye from my wife just for explaining how much I love her… I guess she just MissHeard me.
• I'm a vertebrate that's in love with the president elect. I guess you could say I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush.
• I love cheese. One of my closest friends love selling me some of his. Guess you can say he is my quesa-dealer.
• I'm a psychology student and I love it I guess it's true that if you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life
• I love to make lists. I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list when I'm at the store.

Hard To Guess Jokes

Here is a list of funny hard to guess jokes and even better hard to guess puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend had a German plumber hook up his new shower.... I guess old habits die hard because he hooked up the gas line instead.
• I just got an eye infection for rubbing it too hard. I guess I can’t masturbate for awhile now.
• An anti vaxxer tried the 10 year challenge... I guess it wouldn't be a challenge if it wasn't hard
• I live in the United States. Upon taking some classes in France I notice a gorgeous bombshell pass me. I check her out hard. I guess you could say I was really studying a broad.
• I'm a huge fan of ALL of Bruce Willis's work. I've seen every movie he's in. I guess you can say.. I'm a Die Hard fan.
• I tried to change the colour of my monk's costume so I could reuse it but I guess old habits dye hard.
• The Nuns robes The Nun had tried ever so hard to change the colour of her old robes but to no avail. I guess old habits dye hard.
• I asked a German mathematician if he would tell me what the square root of 81 is. He said "*nein!*" and walked off. Guess that one was too hard for him.
• I live in a house between a crack den and a brothel. I guess you could say i'm between a rock and a hard place.
• How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach? Take a guess, it's not hard.

Humorous Guess Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about guess you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean forecast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make guess pranks.