Grumbles Jokes
13 grumbles jokes and hilarious grumbles puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grumbles that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Grumbles Short Jokes
Short grumbles jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grumbles humour may include short growls jokes also.
- What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket. Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
- Darling! – Wife grumbles, - I noticed that whenever you see a pretty woman, you forget that you are married! Just the opposite, - Husband sighs, - Just the opposite.
- An elderly lady at the doctor's office grumbled about why she was so sore all the time. The doctor joked, "It must have been due to a dissipated youth." She replied, "I wish I could remember him."
- You won't stop that wager-taker's constant complaining... That's just the way the b**... grumbles.
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Grumbles One Liners
Which grumbles one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grumbles? I can suggest the ones about grumpy and groan.
- What do you call an unselfish vocal sound? A humble grumble^^My ^^life ^^is ^^failure
- What do you call a bee which is always complaining? A grumble bee.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Grumbles Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about grumbles you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grins jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grumbles pranks.
After trick-or-treating on Halloween, a teen takes a shortcut through a cemetery.
Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man chipping away at a headstone. "I thought you were a ghost," says the relieved teen. "What are you doing working so late?" "Oh, those idiots," grumbles the old man. "They misspelled my name!"
Heisenberg and Schroedinger are driving together, but they get stopped by a police officer.
The officer asks, "Did you know you were driving at 75 mph?"
Heisenberg sighs, "Oh great, now we're lost."
The cop is unhappy, and checks the car's trunk. He asks, "And why is there a dead cat in here?"
Schroedinger grumbles, "Well there is NOW!"
Hundreds of Russians are outside a bank,
grumbling about waiting hours in a long queue to make a withdrawl.
Suddenly one says '' I've had enough of this, I'm going to shoot Putin!"
He returns five hours later to the queue and his mate says '' did you kill him?''
he said ''no the queue was too long''
After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery.
Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.
I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen.
What are you doing working so late?
Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. They misspelled my name!
A Jewish lady wants an obituary for her husband.
A Jewish lady calls the New York Times and says "I want an obituary for my husband." The person at the times says "it's 10$ a word". "10$ a word!" The lady exclaims. "Fine" she says "Burnstein dies". The lady says "there is a minimum of 5 words". "Fine" she grumbles, "Burnstein dies Buick for sale".
A runner walks into a bar
An ultra runner jogs into a bar and orders a beer. She reaches into her sweaty sports bra and pulls out a sweaty crumpled $5 bill to pay. The bartender gingerly picks up the damp bill with a pair of tongs and dumps it in a bucket. "You realize every time I get money with b**... fluids on them I have to report it to the government," the bartender grumbles. "It's g**... income."
Two guys were out on a lake ice fishing
One looks at the other and sees that he's got a pile of fish, and asks him,
"hey buddy, how'd you catch so many fish and I'm sitting here with nothing?"
"Eep or orms orm" the man grumbled
"What?"
"Eep or orms orm!"
"Buddy, i got no clue what you're saying!"
The man spat in exasperation and said, "Keep your worms warm!"
What am I supposed to do with this? "What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
One dark night, two men are walking home after a party and decide to take a shortcut through the cemetery.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they are startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they find an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, dude," one says after catching his breath. "You scared us half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing, working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbles. "They misspelled my name!"
Icefishing
An ice fisher makes a hole in the ice, puts his fishing rod in and suddenly he hears a voice "There are no fish here".
So he moves a bit further away, makes another hold, puts his lure in and hears again "There are no fish here".
He looks up and asks "God? Is that you"
The voice grumbles "No, d**..., I'm the ice rink groundskeeper".
