Growing Older Jokes
22 growing older jokes and hilarious growing older puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about growing older that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Growing Older Short Jokes
Short growing older jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The growing older humour may include short growing old jokes also.
- As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way... Maybe being a tour guide wasn't such a great idea after all.
- So my girlfriend is getting a bit older and her teeth are starting to fall out. It's okay, though. They'll grow back.
- At age 12, I started responding, "Twelving like a pro." whenever someone asked me what I was up to. Growing older, I've begun to wonder if the payoff will really be worth it by age 69.
- It's nice to see women who don't lose their figures as they grow older. They take such a long time to paint and Warhammer is expensive enough as it is.
- My teenage daughter asked me why.. Women get uglier as they grow older, yet blokes become more handsome?
Simple I replied God's a Man . - People grow different feelings as they get older. For example, at age 3 peeing on people is funny. At age 42 peeing on people is arousing.
- They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.
Share These Growing Older Jokes With Friends
Growing Older One Liners
Which growing older one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with growing older? I can suggest the ones about getting older and getting old.
- What does a square grow when it gets older? Cubic hair.
- How do you stop from growing older? Dying.
- I had an older sister growing up I mean - I still do, she's just dead now
Growing Older Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about growing older you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean growing up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make growing older pranks.
Billy was sleeping in his room
Billy was sleeping in his room when suddenly a flash of light appeared. A man was then standing in Billy's room. Billy was amazed.
Billy asked ''Who are you?''
The man responded with "I'm you from the future"
Billy was amazed to be able to meet his future self.
He asked his older self "What will I be when I grow up?"
The older Billy locked the door and said "A p**..."
The older woman.....
A guy walks into a bar and orders a round of beer for everyone. "My wife just gave birth to my son this morning!" he tells the bartender. "That's great!" the bartender agrees. "I know just how excited you are! My wife just gave birth to my daughter yesterday. Who knows? Maybe someday they'll grow up and marry each other." "Yeah, right," the guy says. "Like my son is going to marry someone twice his age."
It's just a monkey.
When an adolescent girl starts growing p**..., she asks her mother about what's going on with her. The mother replies "it's just a monkey who is starting to grow hair". Later at the dinner table, she tells her older sister that her monkey had started growing hair. The sister replies "Mine even started eating bananas!".
Kids Marry The Darnedest Things
A young son declared, When
I grow up, I'm going to marry you, Mommy.
You can't marry your own mother, said his older sister.
Then I'll marry you.
You can't marry me either.
He looked confused, so I explained, You can't marry someone in your own family.
You mean I have to marry a total stranger?! he cried.
Three babies were in the w**... talking amongst themselves about their future
They get on the topic of what they want to be when they are born and grow up.
The first baby says: "when I get older, I want to be a molder of young minds! A teacher is what I'm aiming for."
The second baby says: "when I'm a adult, I want to heal and save people! I'll be a doctor."
The third baby thinks for a second and says: "I want to be a boxer".
The other two babies look at him in confusion and ask why.
"Because when I get out, I want to beat up the bald headed man who keeps spitting on me!"
An 11 year old girl realized she began to grow hair between her legs.
She immediately got worried and asked her mom about the hair. Her mom calmly replied,
That part where the hair is grown is called a monkey. You should be proud your monkey has grown hair!
The young girl was excited and went to sleep
The next morning, the young girl went up to her older sister Jessica during breakfast and exclaimed,
Jessie! My monkey has grown hair!
Her sister laughed and smiled while she told her,
My monkey is already eating bananas.
The teacher tells the students:
You have to tell me what part of my body do you like the most, and I will tell you what will you be when you grow up. Let's see, Paul, which part of my body do you like the most?
I love your long hair, teacher.
Nice, Paul! You will be a hairdresser when you grow up. And you, Peter, what is your favourite part?
My favourite part of you are your teeth, teacher.
You will be a dentist, Peter, when you grow up. William, it's your turn.
I really like your blue eyes, teacher.
You will be a very good oculist when you grow up, William. And you, Johnny, which part of my body do you like the most?
I think I don't need to say it. I just found out I want to be a milkman when older!
The restaurant
Two elderly couples where walking on a nice Sunday in a park. The two women where walking behind their husbands. One man said: "we where in a restaurant yesterday, where I had the most delicious meat ever". The other man was looking at him and wanted to know what's the name of that restaurant?". "You know" replies the other "since I get older you have to help me out a bit". "What's the name of the flowers, which grow on a thorny bush?" "Roses" said the other. "Yeah that's it" he turns around and shouts: " Hey Rose, what's the name of the restaurant we where yesterday?"
Peanut
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the
middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he
turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home
with her date. After being informed of the problem, their
daughter's date said he could get the peanut out..
The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to
shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young
man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,
'That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when
he grows older?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.