Grow Jokes

Funniest Grow Short Jokes

Short grow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grow humour may include short plant jokes also.

1. When I was growing up # was pound, not hashtag Good thing it changed, since "pound metoo" would've been sending the wrong message
2. When she was growing up, everybody laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to be a comedian... Nobody's laughing now.
3. Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
4. I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
5. When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant I started crying. I know how it feels to grow up without a father!
6. My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore.
7. When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him.
8. Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god... ...so we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.
9. Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world? Because its capital is Dublin all the time!
10. Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby? At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up

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Grow One Liners

Which grow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grow? I can suggest the ones about produce and expand.

1. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
2. Which country has the fastest growing capitol? Ireland. It's Dublin every year.
3. "Dad I want to be a feminist when I grow up" "Well, pick one honey, you can't do both"
4. How much space is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
5. I told my neighbor I was too scared to grow an apple tree. He said grow a pear.
6. Crocodiles can grow up to 20 feet but most have just four.
7. Apple farmers who are too scared to diversify should just grow a pear.
8. What kind of tree does a chicken grow on? A poultry.
   (came up with that in the shower)
9. Alligators can grow up to 20 feet But most of them only grow four
10. I'm not racist my best friend growing up was black Until my dad sold him
11. Why arent There Many jewish gardeners? Because money doesnt grow on trees
12. Some Giraffes can grow up to 18 feet But most only have 4
13. What do you call a tree that grows meat? Dmitry!
14. What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun? An Ultra-Violet
15. My doctor told me I have a tumor At first I was upset, but it's starting to grow on me

Grow Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny grow up jokes and even better grow up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Little Boy: Daddy I want to be like president Trump when i grow up! Dad: "Well pick one son, you can't do both"
• What country's Capital has the fastest growing population in the world? Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.
• A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
• Where's the best place for a horse to grow up? In a stable environment.
  Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.
• Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, 'Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.' We laughed about it. Then my wife said, 'Don't make the same mistake I did.'
• Me: I want to be a mirror cleaner when I grow up Mum: why's that?
  Me: It's something I can see myself doing
  Mum: ...
• I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper… Now those days are behind me…
• I walked into my boss's office and handed him a pear... "What's this for? he asked.
  I replied, "A raise. My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."
• People always make fun of my dad because his name is Chip and he is a Dorito farmer You might think that is cheesy but actually we got to grow up on a really cool ranch
• So my girlfriend is getting a bit older and her teeth are starting to fall out. It's okay, though. They'll grow back.

Grow Old Jokes

Here is a list of funny grow old jokes and even better grow old puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My 6 year old daughter told me this morning that she wanted to grow up and be a feminist.. I told her she could only choose one.
• I heard married women sometimes grow an appendage out of their back side as they age. Maybe it's just an old wives tail.
• Human-beings get rich as they grow old: Silver in Hair;
  Gold in Teeth;
  Sugar in Blood;
  Precious Stones in Kidney;
  And a never ending supply of Gas!
• What do you call an animal rights' activist that never grows old? PETA Pan
• 5yr old: Daddy I'm mad at you! Me : Why?
  5: You know why!
  Wife: [wipes tear] They grow up so fast.
• Growing old First you forget names;
  Then you forget faces;
  Then you forget to zip up your fly;
  And then you forget to unzip your fly.
• Growing up, I always wanted to be someone. Now that I'm old, I've realised I should have been more specific.
• We were so poor when I was growing up..... That my dad bought me an air guitar for Christmas.
  My friend was even less well off. He asked if he could have my old one!!!
• Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old? They can't lego of their childhood.
  Tell some more Lego puns, here!
• From my 10 year old - " What grows on money trees? "Cash - ooh"'s

Knee Grow Jokes

Here is a list of funny knee grow jokes and even better knee grow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee? Tony.
• Today I Learned we are all born without kneecaps. I guess that makes us all knee grows!
• Why are basketball players so tall? Because their knee grows
• What did the black guy want after the cops broke his leg Knee Grow
• Why are most professonal atheletes african ? Their knee grows a lot
• Where do you go to fix a broken knee? To Africa. Where the Knee Grows.
• What do you call an african with long legs? Knee grow
• I recently hurt my knee and I decided to get surgery in Africa Where the knee grows

Grass Grow Jokes

Here is a list of funny grass grow jokes and even better grass grow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow? A Prograsstinator
• Once, when my grandma stepped out of the bathtub... and my sister commented that the hair on her ''privates'' was getting rather sparse, Granny retorted that "grass don't grow on a racetrack".
• My Chia Pet was so boring... ...It was so boring, I'd rather go watch the grass grow
• What car is it best to grow grass on? K-K-K-Kia
• I just lost a grass growing competition. The grass was Greener in the other side
• What do the small grass-like substance that grows on the side of rocks and small winged insects similar to butterflies have in common? The way Mike Tyson pronounces them.
• How tall does the grass grow in Germany? Nein feet tall.
• Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.

Cheeky Grow Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about grow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grow pranks.