Grow Jokes

Funniest Grow Short Jokes

Short grow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grow humour may include short grew jokes also.

1. When I was growing up # was pound, not hashtag Good thing it changed, since "pound metoo" would've been sending the wrong message
2. When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
3. When she was growing up, everybody laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to be a comedian... Nobody's laughing now.
4. Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
5. I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
6. When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant I started crying. I know how it feels to grow up without a father!
7. My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore.
8. When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him.
9. Little girl: "Mommy, I want to be a feminist when I grow up." Mom: "Well pick one sweetie, you can't do both."
10. Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god... ...so we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.

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Grow One Liners

Which grow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grow? I can suggest the ones about plant and crop.

1. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
2. Which country has the fastest growing capitol? Ireland. It's Dublin every year.
3. "Dad I want to be a feminist when I grow up" "Well, pick one honey, you can't do both"
4. Babies are born with 4 kidneys. When they grow up, 2 of them turn into adult knees.
5. How much space is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
6. I told my neighbor I was too scared to grow an apple tree. He said grow a pear.
7. Crocodiles can grow up to 20 feet but most have just four.
8. Apple farmers who are too scared to diversify should just grow a pear.
9. why are black people so tall? because their knee grows
10. Did you know humans are born with four kidneys? Two of them grow into adult knees.
11. What kind of tree does a chicken grow on? A poultry.
    (came up with that in the shower)
12. Some crocodiles can grow 17-20 ft But most have 4
13. Alligators can grow up to 20 feet But most of them only grow four
14. I'm not racist my best friend growing up was black Until my dad sold him
15. Why arent There Many jewish gardeners? Because money doesnt grow on trees

Grow Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny grow up jokes and even better grow up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way... Maybe being a tour guide wasn't such a great idea after all.
• Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world? Because its capital is Dublin all the time!
• Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby? At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up
• Little Boy: Daddy I want to be like president Trump when i grow up! Dad: "Well pick one son, you can't do both"
• Feed a man corn and he will eat for a day Teach a man to grow corn, he will kill your people and steal your land
• What's the difference between Americans and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture
• Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands
  I like this joke because it never grows old
  This joke is off the hook
  Sorry
• What country's Capital has the fastest growing population in the world? Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.
• A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
• Where's the best place for a horse to grow up? In a stable environment.
  Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

Grow Old Jokes

Here is a list of funny grow old jokes and even better grow old puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, 'Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.' We laughed about it. Then my wife said, 'Don't make the same mistake I did.'
• My 6 year old daughter told me this morning that she wanted to grow up and be a feminist.. I told her she could only choose one.
• I heard married women sometimes grow an appendage out of their back side as they age. Maybe it's just an old wives tail.
• Human-beings get rich as they grow old: Silver in Hair;
  Gold in Teeth;
  Sugar in Blood;
  Precious Stones in Kidney;
  And a never ending supply of Gas!
• What do you call an animal rights' activist that never grows old? PETA Pan
• 5yr old: Daddy I'm mad at you! Me : Why?
  5: You know why!
  Wife: [wipes tear] They grow up so fast.
• Growing old First you forget names;
  Then you forget faces;
  Then you forget to zip up your fly;
  And then you forget to unzip your fly.
• Growing up, I always wanted to be someone. Now that I'm old, I've realised I should have been more specific.
• We were so poor when I was growing up..... That my dad bought me an air guitar for Christmas.
  My friend was even less well off. He asked if he could have my old one!!!
• Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old? They can't lego of their childhood.
  Tell some more Lego puns, here!

Knee Grow Jokes

Here is a list of funny knee grow jokes and even better knee grow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you know everyone is born with 4 kidneys? As you grow up two of them turn into adult knees.
• TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys. When they grow up, two of them become adult knees.
• Why do black men wear baggy trousers? Because their knee grows.
• What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee? Tony.
• I only learned recently that children are born with four kidneys, and later on when they grow up.. ​
  ..two of them turn into adult knees.
• I had two kidneys growing up.. Now I've got two adult knees
• How is God just like a regular man? If you're not on your knees, he's not interested and you know what they say, abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers.
• Why are black people so tall? Because their Knee Grows!
  (Told to me buy a black friend so dont be calling me a racist)
• Why do Africans wear baggy pants? Because their knee grows.
• Today I Learned we are all born without kneecaps. I guess that makes us all knee grows!

Grass Grow Jokes

Here is a list of funny grass grow jokes and even better grass grow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow? A Prograsstinator
• Once, when my grandma stepped out of the bathtub... and my sister commented that the hair on her ''privates'' was getting rather sparse, Granny retorted that "grass don't grow on a racetrack".
• My Chia Pet was so boring... ...It was so boring, I'd rather go watch the grass grow
• What car is it best to grow grass on? K-K-K-Kia
• I just lost a grass growing competition. The grass was Greener in the other side
• What do the small grass-like substance that grows on the side of rocks and small winged insects similar to butterflies have in common? The way Mike Tyson pronounces them.
• How tall does the grass grow in Germany? Nein feet tall.
• Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
• Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.

Cheeky Grow Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about grow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean produce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grow pranks.