Groundskeeper Jokes
7 groundskeeper jokes and hilarious groundskeeper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about groundskeeper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Fun Groundskeeper Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What is a good groundskeeper joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I'm directing a film...
... And starring in it, as a shaggy groundskeeper from Northern New England who leads midnight raids on the estate's garden.
I'm the main character, mane caretaker, Maine carrot-taker.
Icefishing
An ice fisher makes a hole in the ice, puts his fishing rod in and suddenly he hears a voice "There are no fish here".
So he moves a bit further away, makes another hold, puts his lure in and hears again "There are no fish here".
He looks up and asks "God? Is that you"
The voice grumbles "No, d**..., I'm the ice rink groundskeeper".
I was working as groundskeeper on a golf course...
...when a lady came up to me and complained of getting stung by a wasp between the first and second holes.
I told her she needed to close her stance a bit.
What's the difference between a psychologist and a groundskeeper?
One you need for a rough patch, the other you need to patch your rough.
A groundskeeper was walking through a graveyard
A groundskeeper was walking through a graveyard when he heard someone sobbing. He turned down a row of headstones to see a man kneeling in front of a grave and wailing.
"How could you do this to me?! ?" He cried. "I can't eat, I can't sleep, every second is agony! Why didn't you say anything?!" he paused when he noticed he wasn't alone.
"I'm sorry for your loss." the groundskeeper said awkwardly. "You must miss your wife terribly."
"My wife?" The kneeling man said through his tears.
"This grave belongs to her first husband!"
Engineering teacher gave us this one.
So a priest, a doctor, and an engineer are playing a round of golf but they are stuck behind an incredibly slow f**.... They keep waiting and finally the groundskeeper drives by and they ask him whats going on with the group ahead.
He explains that the group ahead is made up of four firefighters that, when putting out a fire in the clubhouse a few months earlier, had been blinded by an e**..., and to repay them they are allowed to golf whenever they want.
After hearing the sad news about the four firefighters, the priest immediately says "I will certainly pray for these brave men to regain their sight."
The doctor replies, "And I will talk with my colleagues regarding any cures for injuries like this."
The Engineer asks "Why don't they just play at night?"
A Pastor, a Doctor, and an Engineer...
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumes, "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" the doctor asks.
The groundskeeper tells them that the other golfers are a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving the clubhouse from a fire and that they come and play for free whenever they want.
The group is silent for a moment.
The pastor says, "That's so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor says, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer says, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
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