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Grocery Shopping Jokes

104 grocery shopping jokes and hilarious grocery shopping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grocery shopping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Grocery Shopping Short Jokes

Short grocery shopping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grocery shopping humour may include short grocery jokes also.

  1. Garlic powder $5.99. steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99. Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless
  2. They say don't go grocery shopping when you are hungry... But it's been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.
  3. WARNING!! They said you only have to wear masks and gloves to go grocery shopping but they LIED! Apparently you have to wear clothes too.
  4. When I go grocery shopping, I choose the checkstand with the sexiest checker Self-checkout every time
  5. My wife gets jealous when I go grocery shopping... There's always a cashier checking me out.
  6. Grandpa: "Back in the day, you could walk into a grocery store with $ 2 and leave with a full shopping cart. But nowadays they have security cameras everywhere!"
  7. My wife and I went grocery shopping with our masks on when we got home and took off our masks, I discovered I brought home the wrong wife. Stay alert people!
  8. Your insistence on having your father walk you down the aisle may seem odd to some Especially considering the two of you are only going grocery shopping.
    _______________
    I stole this joke.
  9. Grocery Shopping I wrote down some stuff I needed at the grocery store. When I got there, I realized I forgot the note at home. I wandered around the store feeling listless the whole time.
  10. My girlfriend left me today because i'm to insecure No wait she's back, she just just got back from grocery shopping

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Grocery Shopping One Liners

Which grocery shopping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grocery shopping? I can suggest the ones about supermarket shopping and grocery store.

  1. Grocery shopping on a diet is easy in Germany.. Just look for the *gluten tag*.
  2. Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries? Traitor Joe's
  3. Where do pianists put their groceries while they shop? In a Chopin cart.
  4. Where does Mike Flynn do his grocery shopping? Traitor Joe's
  5. How does a ninja shop for groceries? No one knows.
  6. I do my grocery shopping at Office Depot It's a staple diet.
  7. Where do fungi go shopping? At the grocery spore.
  8. Ajit Pai is shopping in a grocery store...
  9. What neighborhood grocery store did Benedict Arnold always shop at? Traitor Joe's.
  10. Grocery shopping fosters risky behavior. I always put all my eggs in one basket.
  11. A kid and his mom are shopping at a grocery store.
  12. Where does Neil DeGrasse Tyson do his grocery shopping? Black Hole Foods
  13. Embarrassed Shopper I get so embarrassed grocery shopping when I see the Salad Dressing
  14. What do you call a group of guys grocery shopping? Brocery shopping
  15. Where do dogs shop for groceries? Wagmans.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about grocery shopping can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of grocery shopping puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Grocery Shopping Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about grocery shopping you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean grocery cart jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make grocery shopping prank.

Two nuns are doing their grocery shopping.

As they pass the cooler full of beer, one nun says longingly to the other one, "A cold beer would go down great tonight!" "Indeed," the other nun replies, "but how can we show up with beer at the check-out counter?" "Don't worry, I have a plan," the other nun answers. "Grab a six-pack." The cashier is surprised when he sees the beer, but the one nun is ready with an explanation. "We use the beer to wash our hair" she says. "At the convent, we call it 'Catholic shampoo.'" Without hesitation the cashier bends down, grabs a package of pretzels, and throws it in one of the nuns' groceries bags, saying "The curlers are on the house."

A woman went shopping.
She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste...
All of a sudden the salesman asks her:
"You're single, aren't you?"
A bit surprised woman smiles and answers:
"That's right, but how did you guessed that?"
"Because you're so ugly."

A young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered a butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what he was going to do about it?
He said he'd offer to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16.
She agreed.
The butcher had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"

While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes.


"Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them.
Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.


Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not.
I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?"
The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."

My favorite part of grocery shopping is rushing home to look at the shopping list on my counter to see what I forgot to buy.

Made this joke up while working at Whole Foods a couple years back...

**What do you call a Whole Foods employee that shops at another grocery store?**
>!A "Traitor" Joe !<

A guy is grocery shopping when he sees a beautiful blonde, who smiles and waves at him.

She stops to talk to him, and he can't remember who she is. Instead of faking it, he fesses up and says, "Hi - you look really familiar, but I don't remember how I know you."
She responds, "My name is Taylor, and I think you're the father of one of my children."
The guy's mind reels with shock, and he thinks back to the only time he was unfaithful to his wife. He asks, "Were you the dancer at my batchelor party, who my friends paid to tie me up and ride me, while I was drunk?"
The lady responds, "No - I'm your son's Math teacher."

A young man shopping in a supermarket

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
She then said, "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mum' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $137.85," said the clerk..
"How come so much? I only bought 5 items."
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."

A mid 30's guy is grocery shopping, and a 20 something blonde catches his eye.

She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. When they moved closer, she said to him, "Hi - I think you're the father of one of my children."
The guy freaks out. He says, "I've only cheated on my wife 3 times - in Vegas 5 years ago, in Orlando 4 years ago, and in Seattle 3 years ago. You look familiar, but I just can't remember. Who are you?"
She says, "I'm your son's Sunday school teacher."

An old couple go shopping...

... At the grocery store. The wife continuously nags the husband about the cost of all the things he wants to buy and he grumbles back at her. When they get to the canned fruit aisle she looks at a can of peaches and exclaims "that's ridiculous!" at the price. Looking both ways, she slips it into her purse.
After they leave the store a police officer stops them, informing her she was seen stealing the peaches on video. When she gets to court to answer for her crime the judge says, "this kind of petty theft is unacceptable and becoming more common. I'm afraid I need to make a lesson of you." He looks at her carefully. "How many peaches are in the can you stole?"
"Seven" she replied.
"Very well. I am sentencing you to seven days in jail."
Just then the husband piped up. "Uh, your honor?"
"Yes?"
"I should probably tell you she also stole a can of peas."

A Chinese girl parked in a handicap space...

And continues onto the shops, unaware she accidentally parked in the handicap space. Coming back to her car, she sees a ticket inspector writing a bunch of tickets. She has a lot of groceries an is hurried in putting them away. The parking inspector takes one look at her, says 'carry on and have a nice day', and continues walking.
Puzzled, she resumes putting away the bags then decides to continue shopping. She later returns to her car and sees the same parking inspector. She approaches him and asks 'why didn't you give me a ticket earlier for illegally parking?'. The man replied 'love, I'm just happy that you're off the road.'

Shopping for Melons

My wife sent me to the supermarket with a grocery list, but when I unfolded and read it, all it said was "melons".
I guess it was the honey dew list.

Two grizzlies are out grocery shopping...

Then one grizzly turns around and says to the other : "it's kinda quiet in here today dont you think?"

A man approached me on the train...

...and said "Remember Leonardo DiCaprio," and then ran away.
Later when I was grocery shopping, the same man came over to me and said "Remember Leonardo DiCaprio," and then ran away.
Then at night, when I was at a bar, the man came, said "Remember Leonardo diCaprio," and ran away.
When I had gone to bed and was trying to fall asleep, he entered my room, said "Remember Leonardo DiCaprio," and ran away.
At that point I had gotten tired of him so I called the police. They asked if I could tell them anything about him. "I do not know his name," I told them, "but he reminds me of Leonardo DiCaprio."

At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said...

At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said "last year we talked about making our husband's do more of the work often considered women's work, let's hear how that went."
First a lady from the USA got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more cleaning until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he cleaned the whole house from top to bottom." Everyone cheered.
Next a lady from Britain stood up and said "I told my husband I wasn't doing laundry until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he not only did his laundry, but mine as well." More cheers.
Then a lady from Australia got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more grocery shopping until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye"

Daddy, why do you do all the work around here?

A young child kept noticing that at his home his dad always seemed to do all the house-work, and his mother did nothing. It was his dad that fixed the meals, shopped for groceries, cleaned the house etc.
Finally, one day, the son goes up to his father and asks him, "Daddy, why do you do all the work around here?"
His dad replies "Well, when you were born, I had a deal with your mother. For my part of the deal, I have to do all the work around here."
"So, what was her part of the deal? Was it worth all the effort that you put in everyday?"
"Ofcourse it was worth the effort, Goku, ofcourse it was."

A husband and wife are shopping in their local grocery store.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife.
They carry on with their shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."

M. Night Shyamalan

Mark: While grocery shopping last night, I noticed the overweight cashier looked really familiar. It wasn't until I left that I realized it was Chubby Checker. Irony, right?
Paul: What do you mean?
Mark: Chubby Checker was a chubby checker.
Paul: I still don't get it.
Mark: That's The Twist!

Why did the cow exit the grocery store with 6 carts teeming with food?

She went shopping on four empty stomachs.

A husband and wife are grocery shopping

The husband grabs a case of beer and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks his wife.
"It's on sale, just $19.99!"
"Put it back, we can't afford it."
Dejected, the husband puts it back and they continue. A few aisles over, the wife picks out a face cream and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's $40, but it makes me beautiful and s**... for you" says the wife with a smile.
"So does the beer, and at half the price."

I went shopping . . .

I went to the supermarket to get some groceries. When I got to the dairy section, they only had one piece of cheese left.
It was provolone.

A programmer went to go grocery shopping.

A programmer went to go grocery shopping. He called his wife and asked what was needed.
His wife said: "You need to get 2 loaves of bread. Oh, and also, if there's eggs, buy a dozen."
So he came home with a dozen loaves of bread.

I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach

and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4.

Butcher Shop

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?
Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"

A woman asks her husband, a programmer, to go shopping.

Wife: Dear, please, go to the nearby grocery store to buy some bread. Also, if they have eggs, buy 6.
Husband: O.K., hun.
Twenty minutes later the husband comes back bringing 6 loaves of bread. His wife is flabbergasted.
Wife: Dear, why on earth did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
Husband: They had eggs.

A woman wants to buy a pair of spectacles.

A woman walks into a shop and says," Doctor, I think I need a pair of spectacles! "
The shopkeeper replies," You certainly do ma'am! This is a grocery store.

A woman is shopping at a grocery store.

She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".

We went shopping for a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving.

We're expecting 20 people at our house and my husband wanted to find the perfect turkey for the s**.... After picking through the stock at the grocery store he can't find one he wants. He says, "Don't these get any bigger?" I replied. "No, honey. They're already dead."

Cheeky

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said,"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much? I only bought 5 items!"
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."

One of everything.

A man walks into a grocery store and grabs a shopping cart. He grabs one egg, one tomato, one head of lettuce, one steak, one banana, one apple, and one of everything else in the store.
He walks up to the counter and starts putting his items on the belt. After the cashier gives him a weird look, she says, "You must be single."
He says, "I am. How did you know?"
She says, "Because you're extremely ugly."

A woman went to a grocery store..

She gets a shopping cart and went to buy the stuff she needs.
First, she bought a tray of eggs.
Next, 3 bottles of milk.
And last, lettuce.
Now that she's done, she went to the cashier and puts her groceries on the conveyer belt.
The clerk, saw the stuff she bought.
He noticed the tray of eggs, the bottles of milk, and the lettuce.
The clerk told the woman, "You must be single."
And the woman, was so shocked and surprised on what the clerk said, "Yes, I am single! How do you know?" asked the woman with a shocked expression.
And the clerk responded, "Because you're ugly."

A man and his son were at the grocery store today...

They were using a cart that had a child-size car attached to the front with the kid inside. While I was shopping, I noticed the dad started hitting the cart into the wall, it was a pretty bizarre sight to see. Before I could intervene, the kid yells,
Kid: DAAAAAD, stop!!! What are you doing?! Stooop!
Kid: Daaaad?! We're not going anywhere! What are you doing?
The dad finally stops after a minute, looks his son straight in the eye and says, as a matter of fact,
Dad: "I don't know son, you're the one who's driving."
I've never laughed so hard while eavesdropping, dad jokes are great. Happy Saturday!

Whata country..

You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores.
He says, "On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk -- you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice -- you just add water, and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to my self, "What a country!"

I was doing some shopping at the supermarket...

...and had a cart full of groceries and a lovely bouquet of flowers. Coincidentally, my wife walked in just as I was checking out.
She noticed the flowers I was buying and jokingly said "Those had better be for me!"
The teenager at the register turned and said "Even if they weren't, they definitely are now!"

A dinosaur goes to a supermarket

A dinosaur goes to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping. He gets to the register and the worker scans all his items. When all the scanning is done, and the dinosaur has to pay, the worker asks:
'So how are you paying today?'
The dinosaur replies:
'With tyrannosaurus checks.'

Where is my wife

A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She has short black hair. She is wearing a pink tube top and blue Jeans. What does your wife look like?
Old man: It doesn't matter. Lets look for yours.

Judge: I'm sentencing you to an evening of grocery shopping. Don't forget the coffee.

Husband: You don't have grounds for that.

Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99.

Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless.
(The most common first comment I see for every joke is "repost". I just made this one up. If someone came up with the same punchline before, guess what, it's a coincidence. Great minds think alike)

Looking for raisins

I was looking for some raisins while grocery shopping but
My search was fruitless

Bob was grocery shopping in France...

Cashier: That'll be 20 euros.
Bob: Alrighty!
Cashier: Would you like a bag?
Bob: Sure. Baguette. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The programmers shopping list

The programmer's wife sent him to the grocery store.
"Hun, I need you to buy a loaf of bread, if they have eggs, buy a dozen.." she says.
Programmer comes home with 12 loafs of bread.

A woman is doing some grocery shopping...

She's going to the checkout line and the cashier says:
"Coke... mayo... some corn flakes... a bottle of wine... some chips. Let me guess, you're single right?"
The lady goes "Well... yeah, how do you know?"
The cashier answers, "Because you're ugly"

I like to bring reusable shopping bags to the grocery store

It's important to me to have something to forget and leave in the car.

Heard this gem from a coworker yesterday

A man and his wife are out grocery shopping when the husband stops in beer section and gets a 24-pack for $10.
The husband puts the 24-pack in the cart and his wife stops him and say "We can't get that, we have to stick to the budget!" so he puts it back on the shelf.
Later on the wife stops in the cosmetics section and gets a container of face cream for $20. When she puts it in the cart, her husband stops her and says "We can't get that honey, it's not in the budget".
The wife says
"This face cream is what I use to look good!"
The husband says
"Well the beer makes you look good for half the price!"

Shopping for singles

I went to a small grocery shop. I am on my way to pay and look for a line. I suddenly notice one young and pretty cashier with almost empty line so I go for it. I start to unload my groceries on a tilt. One pack of hard cigarettes, 6 beers, frozen pizza, some bacon and chocolate bars.
The cashier smiles at me and says: ''You are single, right?''
Little shocked I reply with a smile ''Yes... why? Did my selection of grocery gave it away?''
''No, you are ugly as f*c**....''

A husband and wife were grocery shopping ...

A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asked the wife.
"It's on sale. Only $10 for a case," he replies.
"We can't afford it. Put it back," demands the wife. They continue shopping and a few minutes later the wife puts a $20 jar of face cream into the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
"So does the Budweiser and it's half the price," retorts the husband.

A Spanish teacher is at the grocery store-

-and as he's shopping he sees a sign exclaiming "Soy milk!"
So he stops and says, "Hola milk! Soy Ricardo!"

A woman goes to the grocery store

A woman goes to the grocery store. It's a regular Saturday afternoon. At the end of the shopping she is going to the cashier. She puts following items on the conveyor belt: pepper, cucumber, salami, ham, cheese and Oreos. The cashier does his job and scanns the items and then asks: "madam, are you single?". The woman is confused and asks: "yes, how do you know?". The cashier replies: "because you are ugly af."

A woman is in line at the grocery store when a very drunk man behind her looks the items in her cart and slurs "you mus' be single...!"

She was set to ignore him when she notices her shopping. There's nothing in her cart that would indicate her relationship status...
Curiosity gets the better of her and she answers him
"I am actually, but, how did you know?"
The drunk straightens up slightly and says "cos you're f**...' ugly...!"

A blonde is out grocery shopping,

but she's having trouble finding the Toasties. So she asks one of the stockers, to which he replies "I'll see" and walks off. After ten minutes passes without the stocker returning, she finds another stocker where she can find the Toasties, to which he replies "I'll see" and then walks off. After ten minutes, she's fuming at the poor service, so she finds another stocker. This time she demands he take her over to where the Toasties are shelved. So he leads her past the baking goods in Aisle A, the condiments in Aisle B, to the Toasties in Aisle C.

A man asks another "do you have a car?".

"Sorta", he replies.
"What do you mean?", asks the man.
"Well, it's my wife's car when she goes grocery shopping, it's my son's car when he goes to his girlfriend's, it's my daughter's car when she goes out at night and it's mine when it's out of gas!".

What's for Lunch??

Wife: Have you had your Lunch??
Husband: Have you had your Lunch??
Wife: I'm asking you??
Husband: I'm asking you??
Wife: Your copying me??
Husband: Your copying me??
Wife: Lets go grocery shopping.
Husband: I've had my lunch.

[punchline challenge] So an elderly couple is going grocery shopping...

The cashier notices something about what they're buying and asks:......

Here is a joke from the Soviet Union (also popular in other communist countries before 1989)

A CIA agent is sent on a spy mission to Moscow, Soviet Union. He goes to a grocery store and writes down in his diary "There is no food".
He then goes to a clothes shop and puts down in the diary "there are no shoes".
He goes out of the shop and a KGB agent waits for him outside. "You know, 10 years ago we would have shot you for that."
The CIA agent writes in his diary "There are no bullets".

A guy in a grocery store notices an old woman staring at him

He walks to her and say can I help you?
the woman says I have lost my son and when I saw you, you reminded me of him.
" please call me mother" the old woman says. the guy feeling for the poor woman calling her mother throughout the shopping.
at the exit the old woman looks back with her eyes full of tears and says "goodbye my son" and the guy says "goodbye mother"
and the guy proceed to checkout and he received the 500 bill and says oh I didn't buy that much!! and the seller says i know, your shop is just $30 and the rest is your mother's bill she said "my son will pay for it"

A man goes to the doctor and finds out he only has three months to live...

He says, "but Doc...three months isn't enough TIME!"
The doctor pauses and thinks. Then he says, "Stay home every day, all day long with your wife and kids - no office, restaurtants, movies, or shopping...and only leave the house once a week for groceries...."

"Trust me, it will be the LONGEST three months of your life !"

Arabic joke translation attempt

A guy walks into a grocery store and asks the shop guy, do you have cucumbers?
Store guy replies: yes I do
The man replies: put it in your a**...
The next day, the man does the same thing, walks in, asks about cucumbers and tells the store guy to put it in his a**....
The following day, the store owner thinks, this has to stop.
The man walks into the store, asks if the shop guy has cucumbers.
The guy replies: no I don't have any.
The man tells him: get them out of your a**....

A woman was shopping for turkey at her grocery store. She finds a 12 lbs one and a 13 pound one, frustrated she asked a shop worker, "Do these get any bigger?"

The worker replied, "No, they're all dead."

A husband and wife were grocery shopping...

He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only £10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They continue shopping. Later on, she puts a £20 jar of face cream in the basket. "What are you doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. He said, "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."

jokes about grocery shopping

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these grocery shopping jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.