Grocer Jokes
57 grocer jokes and hilarious grocer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grocer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious jokes about green grocers, fishmongers, delis, and even detergent! Perfect for any grocery store fan, these jokes are sure to get you and your friends in stitches.
Funniest Grocer Short Jokes
Short grocer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grocer humour may include short supermarket jokes also.
- A vegan said to me people who sell meat are disgusting. I said people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
- A man walks into a grocery store. Asks for a pound of tomatoes.
The grocer says, "we call them kilos over here."
The man replies "fine, a pound of kilos then." - I asked my grocer why garbage bags have become so expensive. He said there's been a hefty demand increase.
- A vegan said to me : people who sell meat are disgusting I replied with : people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer
- A vegan told me people who sold meat were disgusting. I said people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.
- Age old debate. People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
- I have a librarian friend and a grocer friend who rarely want to hang out with me because they're just too shelf conscious.
- As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer
- A man walks in to a green grocer's "Excuse me ma'am, are these carrots genetically modified?"
"No" interrupted the carrot. - I went on a couple of dates last week at the local supermarket. The grocer was outraged, and said I destroyed his fruits.
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Grocer One Liners
Which grocer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grocer? I can suggest the ones about shopkeeper and local supermarket.
- Selling meat is disgusting, but selling fruit is grocer.
- If the Hulk worked in the produce section of Kroger... would he be a Green Grocer?
- Vegans think butchers are g**... But people who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer
- People who sell meat may be g**... But those who sell vegetables are grocer.
- People who sell meat are g**... But people who sells fruits and veggies are grocer
- People who sell meat for a living are g**... .. But people who sell veg are grocer
- I think supermarkets are really g**..., but the people that work there are grocer.
Green Grocer Jokes
Here is a list of funny green grocer jokes and even better green grocer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the vegetarian turn down the job at the green grocers? The celery was unacceptable!
Uproarious Grocer Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about grocer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean retailer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grocer pranks.
Grocery Economics
A man and his economist friend are having lunch.
the man mentions that he's noticed something strange when he buys groceries each week. "I always buy a tub of margarine, but I've noticed that, even though it's the same price every time, there's less margarine in the tub. I can't figure out what's going on."
The economist friend nods with a knowing smile and responds "what you have there is a case of the Law of diminishing Margarinal returns."
They say don't go to a grocery store when you're hungry
But I ran out of food a week ago
I was at the grocery store with my gpa when a couple girls in super short skirts walked by....
Gpa said, looks at those jet skirts, as we both admired the two ladies. I had to know, what's a jet skirt? Gpa replied, it's a skirt so short that when they bend over you can see the cockpit.
Grocery shopping on a diet is easy in Germany..
Just look for the *gluten tag*.
At the grocery store.
Customer: "Are these GMO carrots?"
Worker: "No, why do you ask?"
Carrot: "Yeah, why do you ask?"
Grocery produce aisle
ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots?
CLERK: No, why do you ask?
CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?
He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."
When I go grocery shopping, I choose the checkstand with the sexiest checker
Self-checkout every time
Talking to a vegan today
I was talking to a vegan today and they said : "I think butchers or anyone who sells meat is disgusting ! " to which I replied "well I think people who sell fruit and veg are grocer"
At the grocery store today and when asked paper or plastic, I said you make the call the guy replied no can do. ...
I asked why not? To which he replied
Baggers can't be choosers.
A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are g**...!"
I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."
I went to the grocery store to grab some milk
But the lady at the cash register said her pump was broken.
Grocery store meat departments are starting drone delivery but customers think it's risky.
Its a high-steaks situation
Grocery store workers must let the customer decide if they want paper or plastic
because baggers can't be choosers.
Grocery store
I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"
A woman asked the grocer if he had any cucumbers.
He said, Yep, they're 79 cents each or two for a dollar. She said, Okay, give me two, I'll eat one.
Vegan lady and a butcher
A vegan lady went on a blind date with a man. She asked him what do you do for a living. He said he is a butcher. The lady said "eww that's grouse".
The butcher replied "a person who sells vegetables is grocer".
A duck goes to a green grocer
He asks ya got any grapes? The shopkeeper says no the duck asks ya got any grapes? The shopkeeper says no and the duck asks you got any grapes? The shopkeeper is very annoyed at him and says If you ask if I have any grapes one more time I'll nail your head to my counter! The duck asks ya got any nails? And the shopkeeper says no so the duck asks ya got any grapes
A vegan once said to me, "people who sell meat are g**...!"
So I replied: the people who sell vegetables are grocer
:Grocery Store : Bag Boy - Paper or Plastic? Mark - Whatever, you Pick.
Bag Boy - Sorry, Baggers can't be choosers.
A guy walks into a grocery store and says "I want half a pound of butter"
He looks and sees shelves completely covered with boxes of salt. All over the grocery store, hundreds and hundreds of boxes of salt. So he says to the grocer, Listen, I don't want to pry, but do you sell a lot of salt? And the grocery man says, Me, if I'll sell a box of salt a month, I'm lucky. But the guy that sells me salt… Boy, can he sell salt."
A man walks into a grocery store with a gunshot wound.
The grocer asks him if he needs a doctor.
The man says he just wants to know where the spice isle is.
Confused the grocer asks why and the man replies Because thyme heals all wounds.
Grocery Shopping
I wrote down some stuff I needed at the grocery store. When I got there, I realized I forgot the note at home. I wandered around the store feeling listless the whole time.
Some people think that being a mortician or undertaker is g**..., but
Selling fruit and veg is Grocer.
Lady goes to the market to buy potatoes.
Lady: excuse me, sir, but are these potatoes genetically modified?
Grocer: probably, but what's it to you?
Potato: yeah, what's it to you?
A customer asked a grocer, "How much is a banana?"
Grocer: $1
Customer: Would you sell it for .60 cents?
Grocer: You could only get the skin for that price.
Customer: Here's .40 cents for the banana, keep the skin.
So I was at the grocery store the other day…
and the bagger asked me if I wanted paper or plastic sacks.
I said either is fine. I'm bisacksual.
I went to the grocery store. The sign outside said: "No food or drinks inside".
So I went home again.
When I was at the grocery store, I asked an employee where the cereal was, and he said, "I'll see." And walks off. 5 minutes later, I asked another employee about the cereal, and he too said, "I'll see," and walks off.
I eventually found it myself. It was in aisle C.
If the grocery store prohibited gum in employees mouths, would it be safe to say that….
Baggers can't be Chewsers
A vegan said to me people that sell meat are g**....
I said to the vegan people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
why did the grocery shopper glue 10 boxes of rice together and walk out without paying?
because that container said gluten-free.
They say don't go grocery shopping when you are hungry...
But it's been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.
I used to be able to go to the grocery store with $20 and come back with food for a month
Try doing it nowadays with cameras everywhere
Grocery bagger at the store earlier told me that they're not gonna make bananas any longer.
I replied, oh really? He responded, "Yeah, they're already long enough."
He got me good. I really enjoyed that today.
My co worker was complaining that she kept ordering kasewurst
from our distributor but they kept sending knockwurst, to which I replied "Sounds like your kasewurst scenario is the worst case scenario."
I immediately texted my wife looking for a pat on the back. I think she wants a divorce now.
