Following is our collection of Groan jokes which are very funny. There are some groan scream jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these groan squeal puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The blond says: "Doctor, doctor, look! Anywhere I touch myself it hurts!
-she continues to touch random places on her body she even pokes the doctor's nose and still she lets out a groan-
-The Doctor looks at her and thinks to himself and thinks, and then blurs out-
"Your finger is broken"
So a priest walks into his church and sees a Higgs boson particle hanging around; says "what are you doing here?" the particle says "I've always been here - you can't have mass without me..."
*groan*
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him, he hears
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man sprints toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket
clapping-clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and.......
The coffin stops
Q: How do you catch a rabbit?
A: A hare net.
Because he was a groan man.
1.Q. What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?
A. A Dino-sour
2.Q. Were do robots go to worship?
A. Mech-a
He wants to go home but is extremely drunk so he decides to walk. After two steps he falls down. He stands up, walks another two steps and falls down again. This continues all the way home where he climbs up the stairs in agony but doesn't utter a single groan since he doesn't want his wife to notice and gets into bed next to her, makes sure he didn't wake her up and sleeps.
The next day, his wife tells him: "Tim, you moron! Didn't I tell you not to go out drinking??? You're a dead loss!" - "But how did you know?" - "You forgot your wheelchair at the bar, that's why!"
He was charged with won ton destruction
^^*cue* ^^*groan*
Q. What do you have if you are holding a mothball in your right hand and a mothball in your left hand?
A. A **VERY** large moth...
In Geometrees.
I am not embarrassed to say I made this up two weeks ago while teaching quadrilaterals. The groan from my students could be heard for miles.
He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrrrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
You can explore groan tentacles reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean groan cornea dad jokes. There are also groan puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
They were home groan.
Because you shouldn't shoot the messenger!
(Groan, although I'm mildly proud of this)
Running out of sausage is a busy pizza maker's wurst nightmare.
A groan man.
she's groan immune.
A *cow*culater.
I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.
I shall seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and control you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.
And you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu
A groan up!
A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father.
I like to travel a lot, and last year I flew and visited Hiroshima, Japan. It was fairly cold that day so it wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worst....
Because it's not a republic without a notary public.
Well, that and sex.
Jar Jar Binks
Because he was a paw bearer.
It stars Harrison Fjord.
An ironing board.
"It was ribbitting."
Thanks for your time. I know. This one made everyone I know groan, and I wanted to share.
Tennis
...but the third has groan in significance.
Don't look! I'm changing.
(I've made hundreds of people groan at this joke before considering putting it on here. c:)
But they will someday when you are a groan man.
An opera-tuna-tea.
My ears are still ringing from my wife's groan.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and...with his odd diet...he suffered from bad breath.
This made him...
...a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
First, a new joke is created when dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock. But it's not until the punchline becomes apparent that the dad joke is fully groan.
I'm all groan now.
An unclehistamines wife
-updoots for groan.
They lack proper lumber support ...
I tell her puns.
When it is fully groan.
I said, what did you expect? You married a groan man
... but they were all full groan.
when it's full groan, of course!
Woman looks deeply unhappy at herself in the mirror while getting ready for bed. She exclaims, Just look at me!..My hair is grey, wrinkles under my eyes, my boobs sag, my legs fat (GROAN!) . Husband, say something nice! Please!
Husband: Well, at least your eyesight is okay!
That way they're full groan.
That makes you a groan man (or whatever you identify as)
But they've groan on me.
when it's fully groan.
It's become full groan...
Their weapons were at a staff meeting.
Yes, yes. Groan, downvote, and move on. It popped into my head and I shouldn't have to suffer alone.
When it's all groan up
With 2nd lockdown looming in the UK, I saw a man with 4 cases of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 7 sombreros, I think Hispanic buying
when it's full groan.
In the dad-a-base!
The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I crap like a cow." "So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the groan cringe jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working groan hippopotamus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.