The Best 56 Groan Jokes

Following is our collection of Groan jokes which are very funny. There are some groan scream jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these groan squeal puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Groan Jokes and Puns

A blonde goes to the doctor

The blond says: "Doctor, doctor, look! Anywhere I touch myself it hurts!
-she continues to touch random places on her body she even pokes the doctor's nose and still she lets out a groan-
-The Doctor looks at her and thinks to himself and thinks, and then blurs out-
"Your finger is broken"

Maybe not "particle-ularily" funny...

So a priest walks into his church and sees a Higgs boson particle hanging around; says "what are you doing here?" the particle says "I've always been here - you can't have mass without me..."

*groan*

This one's a groaner for sure, but still fun. Happy Halloween!

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him, he hears
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man sprints toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket
clapping-clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and.......

The coffin stops

The most groan-worthy joke in existence...


Q: How do you catch a rabbit?

A: A hare net.

Why did the mature guy enjoy the painfully corny joke?

Because he was a groan man.


two groan worthy jokes I made up over breakfast

1.Q. What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?
A. A Dino-sour

2.Q. Were do robots go to worship?
A. Mech-a

Tim is out drinking one night...

He wants to go home but is extremely drunk so he decides to walk. After two steps he falls down. He stands up, walks another two steps and falls down again. This continues all the way home where he climbs up the stairs in agony but doesn't utter a single groan since he doesn't want his wife to notice and gets into bed next to her, makes sure he didn't wake her up and sleeps.
The next day, his wife tells him: "Tim, you moron! Didn't I tell you not to go out drinking??? You're a dead loss!" - "But how did you know?" - "You forgot your wheelchair at the bar, that's why!"

Did you hear about the guy who burnt down the Chinese restaurant?

He was charged with won ton destruction

^^*cue* ^^*groan*

A groaner just for you...

Q. What do you have if you are holding a mothball in your right hand and a mothball in your left hand?

A. A **VERY** large moth...

Where do Squarells live?

In Geometrees.

I am not embarrassed to say I made this up two weeks ago while teaching quadrilaterals. The groan from my students could be heard for miles.

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head.

He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrrrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

You can explore groan tentacles reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean groan cornea dad jokes. There are also groan puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A farmer planted a crop of puns

They were home groan.

Why do they only shoot clay pigeons?

Because you shouldn't shoot the messenger!

(Groan, although I'm mildly proud of this)

Groaner

Running out of sausage is a busy pizza maker's wurst nightmare.

What do you call a fellow who is over 21 and makes bad puns?

A groan man.

No longer bothered by my puns ...

she's groan immune.

A good pun is its groan reward!

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater.

I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

Love Story

I shall seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and control you.

I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan.

I will make you beg for mercy.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.

And you will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu


What do you call a complaining adult?

A groan up!

What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke?

A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father.

This will make you groan..

I like to travel a lot, and last year I flew and visited Hiroshima, Japan. It was fairly cold that day so it wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worst....

(Groan inducing): Why was it necessary to have official witnesses at the signing of the Declaration of Independence?

Because it's not a republic without a notary public.

Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt.

Well, that and sex.

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV?

Jar Jar Binks

Groaner I came up with, my apologies. Why did the dog go to the funeral?

Because he was a paw bearer.

[groaner] Have you guys seen Viking Wars?

It stars Harrison Fjord.

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An ironing board.

What did the frog say about the opera?

"It was ribbitting."

Thanks for your time. I know. This one made everyone I know groan, and I wanted to share.

What skill requires 90 percent arm strength and 10 percent groan noises

Tennis

Funniness and cleverness have always been two notable factors for rating puns...

...but the third has groan in significance.

What did the traffic light say to the car

Don't look! I'm changing.

(I've made hundreds of people groan at this joke before considering putting it on here. c:)

Son, I know my jokes don't make sense to you.

But they will someday when you are a groan man.

What do you call a chance to try a fishy broth at a classy musical event?

An opera-tuna-tea.

My ears are still ringing from my wife's groan.

My dad's favorite. (Get the groan ready)

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and...with his odd diet...he suffered from bad breath.
This made him...
...a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

How are new dad jokes made?

First, a new joke is created when dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock. But it's not until the punchline becomes apparent that the dad joke is fully groan.

I didn't like puns when I was young.

I'm all groan now.

What's an antihistamine?

An unclehistamines wife

-updoots for groan.

Why do houses creak and groan as they settle?

They lack proper lumber support ...

My wife told me she wants me to make her groan, so every night in the bedroom....

I tell her puns.

When is a pun good enough to make a dad-joke proud?

When it is fully groan.

My wife complained about all my bad puns

I said, what did you expect? You married a groan man

I tried to find a juvenile joke

... but they were all full groan.

when does a joke become a dad joke? (this, of course, from my dad)

when it's full groan, of course!

Husband in bed.

Woman looks deeply unhappy at herself in the mirror while getting ready for bed. She exclaims, Just look at me!..My hair is grey, wrinkles under my eyes, my boobs sag, my legs fat (GROAN!) . Husband, say something nice! Please!

Husband: Well, at least your eyesight is okay!

I always wait for my Dad jokes to mature.

That way they're full groan.

If you react poorly to puns...

That makes you a groan man (or whatever you identify as)

....I used to hate puns too...

But they've groan on me.

A joke becomes a Dad joke...

when it's fully groan.

When I post a joke on my ten year cake day, it automatically becomes a dad joke.

It's become full groan...

Why did the wizards show up to battle empty handed?

Their weapons were at a staff meeting.

Yes, yes. Groan, downvote, and move on. It popped into my head and I shouldn't have to suffer alone.

When does a joke become an dad joke?

When it's all groan up

If this doesn't make you groan I don't know what will...

With 2nd lockdown looming in the UK, I saw a man with 4 cases of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 7 sombreros, I think Hispanic buying

A dad joke becomes apparent

when it's full groan.

Where are all groan-worthy jokes stored?

In the dad-a-base!

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.

The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I crap like a cow." "So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the groan cringe jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working groan hippopotamus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes