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Grizzly Jokes

99 grizzly jokes and hilarious grizzly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grizzly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for some wild humor? Check out this collection of humorous grizzly bear jokes, suitable for kids and adults alike. You'll find jokes about Montana Grizzly Bears, Camembert, Moose, and even Bearly. If you're looking for something to make you chuckle, these grizzly jokes are sure to do the trick.

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Funniest Grizzly Short Jokes

Short grizzly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grizzly humour may include short gorilla jokes also.

  1. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
  2. The Fed Ex driver only delivered part of my grizzly costume I was so mad, I choked him with my bear hands
  3. Did you know Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug in his home? The bear is not dead it is just too scared to move
  4. The courier delivered only half of my grizzly outfit today... So I choked him with my bear hands.
  5. What is a polar bear's favorite food? (Multi-questioned) ICE-cream!
    -What is a black bear's favorite food?
    Blackberries!
    -What is a grizzly bear's favorite food?
    Campers.
  6. I once killed an adult male Grizzly bear on a ski trip in Alaska with a small serrated knife. I had no idea grizzlies could ski or where the bear got the knife.
  7. If big hairy, grizzly gay guys are bears... Does that mean we can call big grizzly gay girls Klondikes?
  8. What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.
  9. TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation. In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!
  10. I went hiking in the Rockies and ran into a grizzly bear. I accidentally played dad instead of dead. Now the bear can ride his bike without the training wheels!

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Grizzly One Liners

Which grizzly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grizzly? I can suggest the ones about brown bear and bears.

  1. Did you hear about the Grizzly that killed a camper? He used his bear hands
  2. What do you call a grizzly bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
  3. A grizzly walks in to a bar and orders a beer. The bartended asks "hey you 21?"
    "Bearly"
  4. My friend got mauled by a bear.... but i'm not gonna discuss the Grizzly details......
  5. I was searching for bear photos When I made a grizzly discovery
  6. What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a polar bear ? You get killed and eaten
  7. What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car? The bear maximum
  8. What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear with a lawn mower? Killed.
  9. I wasn't sure about having a grizzly for a roommate But he's bearable.
  10. What do you call a flying Grizzly? ...a bearoplane
  11. Why are Grizzlies such horrible employees? They will only do the bear minimum
  12. How do you catch a Grizzly without traps? With your bear hands.
  13. What does a minimalist grizzly have on him at all times ? The bear essentials.
  14. Here's a picture of a dead grizzly.. Nevermind. I can't bear it.
  15. What do you get when you mix a Grizzly Bear with a Polar Bear? A Bi-Polar Bear.

Bears Grizzly Jokes

Here is a list of funny bears grizzly jokes and even better bears grizzly puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Rarely, hikers of the Appalachian trail report seeing psychic grizzlies take control of their friends, who start foraging and looking for honey... Bear in mind, that doesn't happen very often.
  • What's the difference between Betsy DeVos and a Grizzly Bear? Betsy DeVos is an actual threat to school children.
  • Timothy Treadwell, the "Grizzly Man", died doing what he loved... ... feeding the bears
  • Why was the sterile Grizzly upset? Because he couldn't Bear children.
  • How does a grizzly catch fish? With his bear hands!
  • How does one keep a grizzly away from their campsite? By setting up a bear-icade you dummies.
  • Pretty sure Betsy DeVos said the grizzly metaphor because the 2nd amendment says, The right to bear arms.
  • What kind of headphones does a grizzly use? Bear pawds
  • What do you get when you cross a lion and a grizzly bear? Eaten.
  • My wife gets really upset when I tell the same joke about a grizzly and her cubs at every party we go to. But I think it's bears repeating.

Grizzly Bear Jokes

Here is a list of funny grizzly bear jokes and even better grizzly bear puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a grizzly wear under his fur? Under-bear.
  • What do you call a very flexible grizzly bear? Yoga Bear.
  • Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve? Because he wasn't polar
  • A mad scientist.... A mad scientist cut my feet off and replaced them with those of a grizzly bear. I now
    Have unnatural paws
  • I called the zoo today to see how many of my pet grizzlys they would take off my hands They said they have a bear minimum
  • What did one grizzly bear said to the other, ravaging through a campground and finding some wine bottles? always remember that the red wine goes well with a hunter, and white - with a fisherman
  • What does a Grizzly say when he calls customer sevices? Just bear with me.
  • What do you call it when a panda bear disguises itself as a grizzly bear? Panda-ception
  • I threw some Grizzly on my Weber the other day at the BBQ... Yeah, Bear Grills.
  • What do birds and grizzly bears have in common? Very little, actually.
Grizzly joke, What do birds and grizzly bears have in common?

Grizzly Polar Jokes

Here is a list of funny grizzly polar jokes and even better grizzly polar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you get when you cross a white cow with mad cow disease and a grizzly bear? A bi-polar bear.
  • Why did the male polar bear have s**... with the female grizzly? Because of global warming.
Grizzly joke, Why did the male polar bear have s**... with the female grizzly?

Cheerful Fun Grizzly Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about grizzly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cougar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grizzly pranks.

Running from a bear...

A hiker surprises a large Grizzly in the woods. The Bruin gives chase and as the man crashed blindly through the brush, he suddenly finds himself standing on a precipice overlooking a deep canyon. The bear is nearly upon him when the man in desperation shouts to the heavens, "Lord, give this bear some religion!" At that moment the bear drops to his knees in earnest prayer, "Our heavenly Father, Thank you for this meal I'm about to receive..."

A pastor goes hiking

as he comes around a corner on the trail he comes across a giant grizzly bear. The bear lets out a growl and is about to charge when the pastor falls on his knees and prays: "Lord, I pray that the bear would be a Christian." In an amazing miracle, the bear is converted instantly and stops where it is. It looks upwards and begins to give thanks: "Thank you Father, for the meal I am about to eat..."

Two grizzlies are out grocery shopping...

Then one grizzly turns around and says to the other : "it's kinda quiet in here today dont you think?"

A man went hunting in Alaska.

A man was hunting in Alaska when he found himself confronted by a small, agitated bear. In order to survive, he shot it. Feeling hungry, he decided to utilize it and cook dinner in the woods.
It was tasty, even though it was a little grizzly.

Was forced to have a t**... with a clown and a grizzly.

Just had to grin and bear it.

Did anyone hear about the Grizzly who was sick of giving birth to n**... cubs?

She could barely bear to bear bare bare bears.

The Revenant was...

Grizzly.

An American patriot with amputated arms decides to replace them.

He obtains a pair of grizzly bear arms from a black market, and attaches them on his own, with the help of a friend.
He is arrested for contribution to animal cruelty and performing medical procedures unlicensed.
When taken to court, he gives a speech defending his right to bear arms.

What do you call a bear covered in a bunch of crows?

A grizzly m**...

What do you call a stillborn grizzly cub?

Unbearable

A Grizzly has attacked a school! Four are dead!

Fortunately, the rest of the salmon are OK and are peacefully continuing upstream.

A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.

Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs h**...?"

A grizzly tried to eat me once

It was unbearable

I once f**... in the woods

Then i saw a grizzly walking with his paw in front of his nose.
I think He couldn't bear the smell

Girl: So how did you hurt your foot?

Boy: Well we were camping out and this giant Grizzly Bear came out of nowhere, reared up on his hind legs, roared, and then started charging us! So I ran in front of him, shouting, "Oh no you don't!' And then I kicked him where it hurts the most and he ran off into the woods whimpering.
Girl: Wow! Was everyone OK?
Boy: Well I feel sorry for that one fellow.
Girl: What fellow?
Boy: The one wearing the Grizzly Bear suit.

Two Men are walking in the woods...

When they come upon a Grizzly Bear. The first man bends down quickly and begins to tighten shoelaces.
The second man says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"
As the first man begins to stretch he replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

I was hiking with my buddy. Suddenly, a 10ft grizzly bear appeared out of nowhere.

The bear started to charge at both of us. Luckily, I had my 9mm p**... with me. One shot to my buddy's kneecap was all it took. I walked away at a comfortable pace.

What's the difference between a grizzly bear and a police officer?

The bear will m**... you in cold blood BEFORE you can start running away from it.

How do you survive a grizzly bear attack with only a .22 p**...?

Shoot your hiking partner in the leg.

A worker at the Taxidermy Department Store notices some damage to a couple of grizzly exhibits

The front right leg on each of the works has been removed.
The worker sprints to the front of the store to alert his manager of the vandalism. On his way, he spies a r**... carrying the missing appendages.
"SIR!" the worker shouts. "You have damaged valuable pieces of merchandise. Exit the store. IMMEDIATELY!"
"Why?" drawls the r**... innocently. "I have the right two bear arms!"

A man walks in a bar and shouts free beers outside! So everyone in the bar, except the bartender, ran outside in excitement.

The bartender, visibly angry, yells at the man what the h**... did you do that for? Now i have no customers!!
The man says Sorry mister, i honestly didnt fink any of those men would be brave enough to fight a grizzly beer, let alone free of them

Two old men are sitting around telling stories...

Did I ever tell you about my run-in with a grizzly bear?
If you did, I don't remember
Well, I was walking along this trail when out of nowhere a grizzly bear jumped out at me! RAWRRRRRRR!
Oh my god! What happened?
I crapped my pants
Well, that's understandable. That sounds horrifying
No! Just now, when I went 'RAWRRRR!' I crapped my pants

This big ol' grizzly bear walks up to the bar and orders s drink.

The bartender says "We don't serve wild animals."
Furious at this, the bear loses his cool, starts roaring and r**..., knocking people and tables over. In his fury, he picks up an old woman and eats her down in one bite. Crunch.
Now, a bit sedated, he returns to the bar and says "Come on, man. I could use a beer to wash that down."
Shaking his head, the barman says "No wild animals and no drug addicts "
Confused, the bear says "Drug addicts? What drugs?"
The bartender shrugs. "What about that bar-b**...-you-ate?"

What's the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear?

If you climb a tree to escape, a black bear can climb up the tree and you eat you.
The grizzly bear will knock the tree down and eat you.

A preacher is being chased in the woods by a large grizzly bear.

Exhausted, he fell to his knees praying, "Good Lord! Deliver me from danger!" Looking back he saw the bear kneeling, paws together in prayer and exclaimed, "It's a Christian bear! Thank God I am saved!" Meanwhile the bear started praying, "For this food I am about to receive, Lord, I give you thanks."

A grizzly bear walks into a bar.

Bartender: So, what can I get you?
Grizzly: I'll have a r**......... and Coke.
Bartender: Why the long pause there?
Grizzly (*looking at his hands on the counter*): I'm not sure. Everyone in my family has them.

A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears,

Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly-bear droppings leave the area immediately.
So how do we know if they're grizzly bear droppings? asks one of the ramblers.
It's easy, replies the ranger. They're full of small bells.

Q: You're riding on a horse at high speed chasing a zebra. To your right is a sheer dropoff. Two feet to your left is a grizzly bear. Right on the heels of your horse is an angry lion. What do you do?

A: Get your drunk a**... off the merry-go-round!

A man walks into a bar and asks for the bill

The bartender looks confused and tells the man he didn't order anything.
The man says I know, but I own the zoo down the street. I heard about the time a grizzly bear, elephant, monkey, tiger, alligator,... walked into a bar. I'm here to pay for the damages.

Grizzly joke, What do you call a grizzly bear in the rain?

jokes about grizzly