The Best 54 Grizzly Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Grizzly jokes. There are some grizzly ursine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these grizzly grizzlies puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Grizzly Jokes and Puns

Running from a bear...

A hiker surprises a large Grizzly in the woods. The Bruin gives chase and as the man crashed blindly through the brush, he suddenly finds himself standing on a precipice overlooking a deep canyon. The bear is nearly upon him when the man in desperation shouts to the heavens, "Lord, give this bear some religion!" At that moment the bear drops to his knees in earnest prayer, "Our heavenly Father, Thank you for this meal I'm about to receive..."

A pastor goes hiking

as he comes around a corner on the trail he comes across a giant grizzly bear. The bear lets out a growl and is about to charge when the pastor falls on his knees and prays: "Lord, I pray that the bear would be a Christian." In an amazing miracle, the bear is converted instantly and stops where it is. It looks upwards and begins to give thanks: "Thank you Father, for the meal I am about to eat..."

I wasn't sure about having a grizzly for a roommate

But he's bearable.

Grizzly joke, I wasn't sure about having a grizzly for a roommate

Two grizzlies are out grocery shopping...

Then one grizzly turns around and says to the other : "it's kinda quiet in here today dont you think?"

A man went hunting in Alaska.

A man was hunting in Alaska when he found himself confronted by a small, agitated bear. In order to survive, he shot it. Feeling hungry, he decided to utilize it and cook dinner in the woods.

It was tasty, even though it was a little grizzly.


Was forced to have a threesome with a clown and a grizzly.

Just had to grin and bear it.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room

The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

Grizzly joke, Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room

Did you hear about the Grizzly that killed a camper?

He used his bear hands

A grizzly walks in to a bar and orders a beer.

The bartended asks "hey you 21?"
"Bearly"

Did anyone hear about the Grizzly who was sick of giving birth to naked cubs?

She could barely bear to bear bare bare bears.

The courier delivered only half of my grizzly outfit today...

So I choked him with my bear hands.

You can explore grizzly bearly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean grizzly butte dad jokes. There are also grizzly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation.

In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!

What do you call a flying Grizzly?

...a bearoplane

"did you hear the one about the grizzly who-"

dude stop

"it's just a joke man"

i know it's stupid but-

*points to my date*

bear with me

The Revenant was...

Grizzly.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Grizzly joke, What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve?

Because he wasn't polar

I was searching for bear photos

When I made a grizzly discovery

How does a grizzly catch fish?

With his bear hands!


What do you call a very flexible grizzly bear?

Yoga Bear.

Why was the sterile Grizzly upset?

Because he couldn't Bear children.

An American patriot with amputated arms decides to replace them.

He obtains a pair of grizzly bear arms from a black market, and attaches them on his own, with the help of a friend.

He is arrested for contribution to animal cruelty and performing medical procedures unlicensed.

When taken to court, he gives a speech defending his right to bear arms.

What does a grizzly wear under his fur?

Under-bear.

What do you call a bear covered in a bunch of crows?

A grizzly murder

What do you call a stillborn grizzly cub?

Unbearable

Pretty sure Betsy DeVos said the grizzly metaphor because the 2nd amendment says,

The right to bear arms.

What's the difference between Betsy DeVos and a Grizzly Bear?

Betsy DeVos is an actual threat to school children.

A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.

Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs Humping?"

My friend got mauled by a bear....

but i'm not gonna discuss the Grizzly details......

A grizzly tried to eat me once

It was unbearable

The best way to protect yourself from grizzly bears is to wear bells and carry pepper spray

Next you need to be able to identify their feces, it has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

I once farted in the woods

Then i saw a grizzly walking with his paw in front of his nose.
I think He couldn't bear the smell

How does one keep a grizzly away from their campsite?

By setting up a bear-icade you dummies.

Here's a picture of a dead grizzly..

Nevermind. I can't bear it.

Girl: So how did you hurt your foot?

Boy: Well we were camping out and this giant Grizzly Bear came out of nowhere, reared up on his hind legs, roared, and then started charging us! So I ran in front of him, shouting, "Oh no you don't!' And then I kicked him where it hurts the most and he ran off into the woods whimpering.

Girl: Wow! Was everyone OK?

Boy: Well I feel sorry for that one fellow.

Girl: What fellow?

Boy: The one wearing the Grizzly Bear suit.

Two Men are walking in the woods...

When they come upon a Grizzly Bear. The first man bends down quickly and begins to tighten shoelaces.

The second man says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"

As the first man begins to stretch he replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

Timothy Treadwell, the "Grizzly Man", died doing what he loved...

... feeding the bears

I was hiking with my buddy. Suddenly, a 10ft grizzly bear appeared out of nowhere.

The bear started to charge at both of us. Luckily, I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my buddy's kneecap was all it took. I walked away at a comfortable pace.

I once killed an adult male Grizzly bear on a ski trip in Alaska with a small serrated knife.

I had no idea grizzlies could ski or where the bear got the knife.

How do you catch a Grizzly without traps?

With your bear hands.

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear with a lawn mower?

Killed.

What's the difference between a grizzly bear and a police officer?

The bear will murder you in cold blood BEFORE you can start running away from it.

My wife gets really upset when I tell the same joke about a grizzly and her cubs at every party we go to.

But I think it's bears repeating.

The Fed Ex driver only delivered part of my grizzly costume

I was so mad, I choked him with my bear hands

What do you get when you cross a lion and a grizzly bear?

Eaten.

How do you survive a grizzly bear attack with only a .22 pistol?

Shoot your hiking partner in the leg.

What do you get when you mix a Grizzly Bear with a Polar Bear?

A Bi-Polar Bear.

A worker at the Taxidermy Department Store notices some damage to a couple of grizzly exhibits

The front right leg on each of the works has been removed.

The worker sprints to the front of the store to alert his manager of the vandalism. On his way, he spies a redneck carrying the missing appendages.

"SIR!" the worker shouts. "You have damaged valuable pieces of merchandise. Exit the store. IMMEDIATELY!"

"Why?" drawls the redneck innocently. "I have the right two bear arms!"

What kind of headphones does a grizzly use?

Bear pawds

A man walks in a bar and shouts free beers outside! So everyone in the bar, except the bartender, ran outside in excitement.

The bartender, visibly angry, yells at the man what the hell did you do that for? Now i have no customers!!

The man says Sorry mister, i honestly didnt fink any of those men would be brave enough to fight a grizzly beer, let alone free of them

Two old men are sitting around telling stories...

Did I ever tell you about my run-in with a grizzly bear?

If you did, I don't remember

Well, I was walking along this trail when out of nowhere a grizzly bear jumped out at me! RAWRRRRRRR!

Oh my god! What happened?

I crapped my pants

Well, that's understandable. That sounds horrifying

No! Just now, when I went 'RAWRRRR!' I crapped my pants

What is a polar bear's favorite food? (Multi-questioned)

ICE-cream!

-What is a black bear's favorite food?

Blackberries!

-What is a grizzly bear's favorite food?

Campers.

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a polar bear ?

You get killed and eaten

This big ol' grizzly bear walks up to the bar and orders s drink.

The bartender says "We don't serve wild animals."

Furious at this, the bear loses his cool, starts roaring and raging, knocking people and tables over. In his fury, he picks up an old woman and eats her down in one bite. Crunch.

Now, a bit sedated, he returns to the bar and says "Come on, man. I could use a beer to wash that down."

Shaking his head, the barman says "No wild animals and no drug addicts "

Confused, the bear says "Drug addicts? What drugs?"

The bartender shrugs. "What about that bar-bitch-you-ate?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the grizzly polar jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working grizzly cubs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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