The Best 21 Grins Jokes

Following is our collection of Grins jokes which are very funny. There are some grins aback jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these grins walks puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Grins Jokes and Puns

A sad looking man walks into a bar

And orders three shots. He knocks them back one after the other and orders another three.

The bartender says "I've never seen anyone drink like that"

The man replies "you'd drink like this if you had what I've got"

This continues twice more, shots, never seen it, you would if you had what I've got.

After the fifteenth shot the bartender asks "I've got to know, what have you got?"

The man grins wide and shouts "twenty cents!" he slaps the coins on the bar and bolts out the door.

So Merkel, Putin and Obama walk along the beach.

Suddenly Obama mentions; "You know, our Navy submarines can submerge for 4 weeks straight!"

Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!"

Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!"

An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.

"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.

"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.

"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"

Grins joke, An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

The Three Professors

Three professors are arguing over who is the best at teaching.

The first professor boasts, "I teach so well, my students never ask any questions. This proves they understand me immediately!"

The second professor responds, "Nonsense! I teach so well, my students never ask questions OR take notes. It's clear they remember the lesson instantly!"

The third professor grins and says, "You're both amateurs. I teach so well, my students don't even have to show up to class!"

A kid walks into the living room

And tells his dad, "Dad, I'm freezing!"

The dad says, not looking away from the TV, "Go stand in the corner."

The kid is surprised, what did he do wrong? "But why?"

The dad looks at his son and grins evilly. "The corner is 90 degrees!"

"DAD!"


A guy is standing in Times Square hitting two sticks together

A police man walks up to him, thinking he is crazy, and asks "what in the world are you doing?"
The man replies "I'm keeping the mountain lions away!"
The police man says "there's not a mountain lion within 1000 miles of here!"
The man grins "I know I'm doing a pretty good job, aren't I?"

A girl comes back home after many years to see her father before he dies...

She goes to his bedside and starts crying, "Dad, I'm sorry!"

He looks at her, smiles weakly, and says, "Goodbye, Sorry." He grins. "I'm *dead*."

Grins joke, A girl comes back home after many years to see her father before he dies...

Little Johnny was made fun of...

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

Boy comes home from school, tells his dad he had sex with his teacher

The father grins, "that's my boy. Will you do it again?"

Boy "yes, as soon as my bottom stops hurting"

A woman wants to find a husband so she puts out an ad "I'm looking for a man that won't hit me, won't run away, and can satisfy me."

A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."

She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"

He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"

A frog and his froggy son go to a restaurant...

The young frog has been having trouble eating food, and not much seemed to help. The two are eating, and the little frog manages to swallow something without any issues! The father frog notices that the son didn't upchuck. Beaming with pride, the father frog grins over at his son.

"Ah, son! Your fly is down!"

You can explore grins yells reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean grins frown dad jokes. There are also grins puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The pregnant woman sitting across from me on the train laughed.

I asked her
"What's so funny?"
She smiled and replied.
"My baby just told me something."
I was shocked!
"Really? What did he say!"
She grins.

"Oh you wont get it, it's an inside joke."

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

Simple, grins the millionaire, I faked my age."

His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

"Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"

A boy and a girl are playing naked in the sand, when the boy starts laughing at the girl that she does not have a peepee. The girl just grins and says...

When I grow up, I will have as many peepees as I like.

So this old guy is lying face down in the sand on a nude beach.



A hot blonde comes along and starts rhythmically smacking his buttocks like drums.

Then the geezer flips around, grins toothlessly at her and says, Why don't you play the flute instead of the bongos?

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

Simple, grins the millionaire, I faked my age."

His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

"Well", he replied.  "I said I was 87!"

Grins joke, A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

A Vampire walks into a bank and pulls a gun out

Hands up, this is a robbery! He declares, as he starts forcing the teller to fill a sack with cash.

One of the customers, cracking slightly under the pressure asks; Hey, shouldn't you be robbing a blood bank?

The vampire turns to them and grins.
No, see, I'm cursed. He explains.

Cursed?

Yep, I can only feed on smartasses, and there's always at least one when I pull this stunt.

An older couple finds genie lamp.

The genie pops out and says they each get a wish.

The wife guys 1st and says, "I want to travel around the world with my husband!"

Suddenly plane tickets and packed bags appear cute both of them.

The husband grins and says, "I wish my wife was younger!"

In an instant the husband was aged twenty years.

A man walks into a bar...

and on the menu he sees Hamburgers $5, Cheeseburgers $6, Handjobs $10. He walks up to the bar and a beautiful brunette comes to take his order. She seductively leans over the bar and asks the man, Can I get you something dear? The man says Are you the one that makes the burgers and gives the handjobs? She grins and says I sure am honey and winks at him. He says Great, can you wash your hands, I'd love a cheeseburger.


An old man is selling watermelons...

His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10

A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon.
"That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man.

The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each.

As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, "Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing."

The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, "People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business..."

Last joke(joke3)

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him

How did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

"SIMPLE" grins the millionaire, "I faked my age".

His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

"WELL", He replied. "I said I was 87!".

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the grins winks jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working grins asks piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes