Grins Jokes
38 grins jokes and hilarious grins puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grins that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Grins Short Jokes
Short grins jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grins humour may include short grinned jokes also.
- A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, Wait! I'm a talking tree!" The lumberjack grinned, And you will dialogue!"
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To bock traffic.
(A kid I work with told this to me with the biggest grin on their face, I had a laugh and felt the need to share this.) - I had to be rushed in for an emergency open heart surgery today, My doctor grinned as he handed me a scalpel, "Fixing your heart yourself would give you a sense of pride and accomplishm-..."
- Grandchild: grandma have you done 69 before? *grin* Grandma: no honey, I did only 53, we live in a small community
- A man is asked by his friends why he doesn't have a life insurance policy "Because I want everybody to be really sad when I die!" He grins.
- Soviet pessimists and optimists Soviet pessimist say "Ilya, things couldn't possibly get any worse"
Soviet optimist, with a big grin, says "Yes they can Sasha" - Little Johnny goes up to Dad… … and asks "Dad, what is a transsexuel person?" Dad starts grinning an says "Ask Mom, he'll explain."
- My little brother told me this one Why do ducks have feathers? He says grinning through his teeth
Why?
To cover there But-Quacks! He says absolutely dyeing - Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin... Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November.
- Between transformers One transformer said to the other "hey nice shoes"
The other then replied, with a grin on his face "thank you, they're... vans"
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Grins One Liners
Which grins one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grins? I can suggest the ones about smirks and frowns.
- What do you call a smiling man holding a scythe? A grin reaper
- What do you call the happy fellow that brings death to the people? The grin reaper
- What happens when America interferes Narcos' business Grin-goes
- A comedian enters a bar. He orders a grin.
- Try not to laugh or grin challenge IMPOSSIBLE - Funny
- How Wolverine makes babies smile Claws open! Claws open! \
- What has 5 legs and a big grin? Pit-bull in kids sandpit
- You are probably grinning at the date today.
- Was forced to have a t**... with a clown and a grizzly. Just had to grin and bear it.

Share Hilarious Grins Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about grins you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean glares jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grins pranks.
An old man is selling watermelons...
His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10
A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon.
"That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man.
The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each.
As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, "Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing."
The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, "People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business..."
A woman wants to find a husband so she puts out an ad "I'm looking for a man that won't hit me, won't run away, and can satisfy me."
A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."
She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"
He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"
An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
A girl comes back home after many years to see her father before he dies...
She goes to his bedside and starts crying, "Dad, I'm sorry!"
He looks at her, smiles weakly, and says, "Goodbye, Sorry." He grins. "I'm *dead*."
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
Simple, grins the millionaire, I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"
A kid walks into the living room
And tells his dad, "Dad, I'm freezing!"
The dad says, not looking away from the TV, "Go stand in the corner."
The kid is surprised, what did he do wrong? "But why?"
The dad looks at his son and grins evilly. "The corner is 90 degrees!"
"DAD!"
A guy is standing in Times Square hitting two sticks together
A police man walks up to him, thinking he is crazy, and asks "what in the world are you doing?"
The man replies "I'm keeping the mountain lions away!"
The police man says "there's not a mountain lion within 1000 miles of here!"
The man grins "I know I'm doing a pretty good job, aren't I?"
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
Simple, grins the millionaire, I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"
A velociraptor struts into a bar, and the bartender exclaims, "Hold up! We don't serve your kind here."
The velociraptor looks at him and asks, "What about humans?" The bartender, puzzled, replies, "Well, yes, we serve humans." The velociraptor grins, "Perfect! I'll have one of those, medium-rare, please"
A Vampire walks into a bank and pulls a gun out
Hands up, this is a robbery! He declares, as he starts forcing the teller to fill a sack with cash.
One of the customers, cracking slightly under the pressure asks; Hey, shouldn't you be robbing a blood bank?
The vampire turns to them and grins.
No, see, I'm cursed. He explains.
Cursed?
Yep, I can only feed on smartasses, and there's always at least one when I pull this stunt.
Little Johnny was made fun of...
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being s**.... Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
A sad looking man walks into a bar
And orders three shots. He knocks them back one after the other and orders another three.
The bartender says "I've never seen anyone drink like that"
The man replies "you'd drink like this if you had what I've got"
This continues twice more, shots, never seen it, you would if you had what I've got.
After the fifteenth shot the bartender asks "I've got to know, what have you got?"
The man grins wide and shouts "twenty cents!" he slaps the coins on the bar and bolts out the door.
The pregnant woman sitting across from me on the train laughed.
I asked her
"What's so funny?"
She smiled and replied.
"My baby just told me something."
I was shocked!
"Really? What did he say!"
She grins.
"Oh you wont get it, it's an inside joke."
A frog and his froggy son go to a restaurant...
The young frog has been having trouble eating food, and not much seemed to help. The two are eating, and the little frog manages to s**... something without any issues! The father frog notices that the son didn't upchuck. Beaming with pride, the father frog grins over at his son.
"Ah, son! Your fly is down!"
So this old guy is lying face down in the sand on a n**... beach.
A hot blonde comes along and starts rhythmically smacking his buttocks like drums.
Then the g**... flips around, grins toothlessly at her and says, Why don't you play the flute instead of the bongos?
A boy and a girl are playing n**... in the sand, when the boy starts laughing at the girl that she does not have a p**.... The girl just grins and says...
When I grow up, I will have as many peepees as I like.
So Merkel, Putin and Obama walk along the beach.
Suddenly Obama mentions; "You know, our Navy submarines can submerge for 4 weeks straight!"
Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!"
Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!"
Last joke(joke3)
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him
How did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
"SIMPLE" grins the millionaire, "I faked my age".
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"WELL", He replied. "I said I was 87!".
The Three Professors
Three professors are arguing over who is the best at teaching.
The first professor boasts, "I teach so well, my students never ask any questions. This proves they understand me immediately!"
The second professor responds, "Nonsense! I teach so well, my students never ask questions OR take notes. It's clear they remember the lesson instantly!"
The third professor grins and says, "You're both amateurs. I teach so well, my students don't even have to show up to class!"
A man finds a magic lamp while fishing.
When he rubs it, a genie appears and says: "You have three wishes, but whatever you get, your mother-in-law gets double."
The man asks for enough money to be the richest person.
The genie says: "Done. What do you want for your second wish?"
The man asks for ten dream vacation homes.
The genie says: "Done. What do you want for your third and final wish?"
The man grins and says: "I'd like you to beat me half to death."
Stalin is attending the premiere of a Soviet comedy movie with his fellow Party members.
He laughs and grins throughout the film, but after it ends he says, "Well, I liked the comedy. But that clown had a moustache just like mine. Shoot him."
Everyone is speechless, until someone sheepishly suggests, "Comrade Stalin, maybe the actor shaves off his moustache?"
Stalin replies, "Good idea! First shave, then shoot!"
A man walks into a bar...
and on the menu he sees Hamburgers $5, Cheeseburgers $6, h**... $10. He walks up to the bar and a beautiful brunette comes to take his order. She seductively leans over the bar and asks the man, Can I get you something dear? The man says Are you the one that makes the burgers and gives the h**...? She grins and says I sure am honey and winks at him. He says Great, can you wash your hands, I'd love a cheeseburger.
An older couple finds genie lamp.
The genie pops out and says they each get a wish.
The wife guys 1st and says, "I want to travel around the world with my husband!"
Suddenly plane tickets and packed bags appear cute both of them.
The husband grins and says, "I wish my wife was younger!"
In an instant the husband was aged twenty years.
Boy comes home from school, tells his dad he had s**... with his teacher
The father grins, "that's my boy. Will you do it again?"
Boy "yes, as soon as my bottom stops hurting"
Donald Trump meeting with the Pope
Donald Trump goes to Rome to meet with the Pope and as soon as he walks into the Vatican, he is greeted enthusiastically by the Pope. The Pope shakes his hand with a fervor and goes "You really have been a savior to our church! You really are a godsend!"
Donald Trump looked at the Pope perplexed and goes "What did I do to save your church? I am not even Roman Catholic."
The Pope grins and says "Now that everyone is paying attention to your every move and rants, nobody is paying attention to our child molesting scandals. Plus attendance in our churches have skyrocketed due to a lot more church goers praying to god for your demise."
Ok a man was at the zoo
And was nearing the lion enclosure. When he gets there he watches the lions and sees a litlle girl fall into the enclosure. The heroic man jumps in,punches the lion in its nose, and saves the girl. The parents thank him and the crowd cheers him. The next morning he turns on the news. The news says
"Heroic man saves girl from lion cage"
He grins at himself and goes on with his day. He notices that a few people are giving him funny looks all holding the same newspaper. The man goes and gets one of these newspapers and the headline reads
"Man beats up african immigrant and steals his lunch."
A man and his best friend, a preacher, are traveling together.
They stop at a vineyard and after the taste testing the preacher comments that one of the wines is the best he's ever tasted. The man, knowing his friend's congregation is particularly conservative, grins and tells the preacher, I'll buy you a case of this wine IF you thank me for it in front of your congregation next Sunday.
The preacher gives it some thought and finally accepts. On Sunday morning before his sermon he stands at the pulpit and says, I'd like to thank my good friend Jeff for the gift of the fine grapes and the excellent spirit in which they were given.
So, a physicist finds themselves conversing with their god
"God, " they inquired, "how does time work for you?"
God replies, "Everything is a part of me. To compare, 1 of your minutes is but a billionth of 1 of my own."
The physicist thinks for a bit and then queries further, "God, do you use such a scale for everything?"
God nods, "Yes, as all things are part of me."
At this the physicist grins, "If that's the case, could you spare a dollar?"
God grins back, "I'd be happy to, but you'll need to wait a minute."
