Uproarious Grind Jokes to Share with Friends
What's the difference between a dead h**... and a meaty sausage?
*I don't grind up sausages.*
That awkward moment...
...when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring...and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod.
What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend?
Have I got an ax to grind with you.
I'm going to open a s**... club where guys just bring in their girlfriends.
It'll be called "The Same Old Grind".
How are strippers like giants?
they both grind bones to make bread.
My dentist told me I grind at night
I was unaware he even saw me at the club
A man asks a blacksmith to refine some ore....
The blacksmith says "put the ore on the bench, then beat it. I'll do it once I've finished up at the grindstone". The man says to the blacksmiths assistant "that was rude" and the assistant replies "what can I say, he has an axe to grind".
What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?
Flossless compression!
What do giants and strippers have in common?
They both grind on bones to make their bread.
The espresso bar tech visited today...
They adjusted my grind, turned up the heat, and blew out my steam wand.
Did you hear about the haunted burlesque theater?
Things went bump and grind in the night.
You can explore grind depresso reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean grind lumberjacks dad jokes. There are also grind puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I saw a radical Muslim today...
He had just landed a kick-flip into a 50-50 grind.
You know what grinds my gears?
When I'm low on transmission fluid.
My dentist told me that I grind at night.
I didn't even know he saw me at the club.
What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?
13 blackberries and 5 apples
I walked up to a stripper.
I said, "How much for a dance?"
She said, "Depends what you want..."
"I just want to grind on the pole for a bit," I added.
I quit my job as a coffee shop manager
The daily grind was just too much
I don't know what to say about bots in MMORPGs...
but I can ensure you that they grind my gears.
Do you know what grinds my gears?
Do you know what grinds my gears? I have to read the aforementioned title twice for most jokes.
You know what grinds a Germans gear?
Nothing, they are too well engineered.
What do you call a skateboarder who likes to grind?
Feeble minded.
What is the most hard working o**...?
Teeth! They know a thing or two about the daily *grind*.
So EA decided that after buying a game, gamers still need to pay money or grind for characters...
...That's it. That's the joke.
If I had a dollar for every downvote EA"s comment gets....
I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.
They said no grinding at prom.
I still brought my skateboard.
I used to work for a mining company . . .
It was a boring job; just a slow daily grind.
I would find myself in a depression everyday; unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
One day, the whole drill got to be too dull and as I was about to do something to remedy the situation, everything started to crumble down around me.
I decided I needed to get out of there in a hurry.
So I went for a drink, but as luck would have it, everyone refused to serve a miner.
What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them?
dicktator tots
That awkward moment when the woman you're dancing with bends over so you can grind it...
But it turns out she just dropped an earing, and no one else in McDonald's can hear the music on your iPod.
What does a stripper say
When her vacation is over?
Well back to the old bump and grind.
Why is Grindr the official hookup platform of Thanksgiving?
Gobble gobble gobble.
Do you know what really grinds my gears?
When my maintenance guys fail to inspect them for the proper mesh and clearance.
I always wanted to try Tony Hawk games
But they say there's too much grind
Grindr got hacked in March of 2018.
Looks like someone found the back door.
You know what really grinds my gears?
A bad synchromesh
R Kelly has been charged with s**... a**...
I guess there was something wrong with that bump and grind.
What's common between strippers and giants?
They both grind men's bones to make bread
What does a barista, a stripper and a middle aged office worker have in common?
When they return to work, they all say "Well, back to the grind."
You know what really grinds my gears?
Not using the clutch pedal
Giant: "I'll grind this orphan's bones to make my cake!"
Also Giant: "I find self-raising flour makes for a lighter and more consistent texture."
What do giants and strippers both have in common?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
I love my job
So I was at work one night, doing the usual grind and all, when suddenly I saw a little girl crying. I asked her "whats wrong? Where are your parents?" And she just started crying even more!
God I love working at an orphanage.
You know what really grinds my gears?
A lack of lubrication.
You know what really grinds my gears?
Not depressing the clutch fully before trying to switch gears.
We are sorry that our coffee machine is out of order
Back to the grind soon
How do you make Turkish coffee?
You grind up 1.5 million Armenian coffee beans and lie about it for a century.
I got Grindr and Dominoes mixed up when I went to order
Regardless there is an 8 inch meat feast on the way and I'm scared.
Grindr
I was riding in an Uber with a gay male friend when his Grindr tone went off and our female driver said, hey, I know that game tone…my husband plays it all the time.
Elmo gone wrong…
A new hire at Hasbro was assigned to quality control on the Tickle Me Elmo line.
After an hour, the line foreman saw the line grind to a stop. Frustrated workers are yelling, stepping away from the machines, and angrily looking towards the end of the line.
There is the new hire, furiously working with needle and thread, empty boxes and plush Elmos falling around her. The foreman goes over to see what the problem is, and finds a stack of red felt pieces and a bucket of marbles.
No, no!! I told you to give each Elmo two *test tickles!!*
