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Grim Jokes

56 grim jokes and hilarious grim puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grim that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Grim Short Jokes

Short grim jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grim humour may include short grave jokes also.

  1. With a grim look on his face, my doctor told me I had onomatopoeia. Breaking in to a cold sweat, I gasped, What's that?! He whispered, It's exactly what it sounds like.
  2. Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago. ...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.
  3. TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.
  4. What do you call a serious man with a scythe that sneaks around outside people's windows? The grim peeper.
  5. Carrie Fisher dead at 60. Her last words were "aren't you a little short for a grim reaper."
  6. The Grim Reaper appeared beside me when I was chopping some carrots in the kitchen. He took his scythe and started chopping the carrots with me....
    Very scary, when you are dicing with death.
  7. Did you know that the Grim Reaper sneaks into everyone's bedroom at night and jerks off? It's true! Death comes to us all.
  8. Last night the Grim Reaper came for me, but I managed to beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with Death.
  9. I was told that my actions could have grim repercussions. I though ' isn't that what Death sits on?'
  10. The Grim Reaper started hosting an art class in their spare time. They call it, a brush with Death!

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Grim One Liners

Which grim one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grim? I can suggest the ones about rage and rough.

  1. What happens if you try to sit on Death's couch? There will be grim reaper cushions
  2. What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper
  3. I had a dream last night that I was vacuuming with the Grim Reaper I was Dyson with death
  4. Why did the Grim Reaper go to the shoe repair shop? To get some soles!
  5. What did the chicken say to the grim Reaper? Should have looked both ways.....
  6. What did the Grim Reaper say when he walked into a shoe shop? I've come for your soles!
  7. Why does the grim reaper need a hearing aid? Because he's deaf.
  8. How does the Grim Reaper have children? Reaper-duction
  9. What's it called when the Grim Reaper screws up and gets a concussion? A repercussion
  10. What is the Grim Reaper's favorite kind of drink? Mortali-tea!
  11. Who collects the souls of people who die while fixing things? The Grim Repair.
  12. How does the Grim Reaper keep his cloak so black? He uses dye!
  13. The Grim Reaper and I used to share sweeping duties. I had a brush with Death.
  14. What do you call the grim reaper with hearing problems? Deaf..
  15. Why does the Grim Reaper go on so many dates? He's deathperate

Grim Reaper Jokes

Here is a list of funny grim reaper jokes and even better grim reaper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the guy who had a crush on the Grim Reaper? I heard he beat it to death.
  • If the Grim Reaper didn't know what died.... he would really hate middle aged dads during summer.
  • What is the grim reapers favorite kind of music? Soul.
  • I was thrown out of the hospital for improper conduct with children Apparently dressing up like the grim reaper and pointing at anti-vaxxer's kids isn't okay.
  • The Grim Reaper came for me last night The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
  • Did you hear the one about the gay Grim Reaper? He had skeletons in his closet.
  • Michael Jackson was briefly appointed the new Grim Reaper. He was fired because all he did was sell Pop Sickles.
  • Why couldn't the Grim Reaper go to war? Because he supports all troops
  • When Gary Kasparov played a game of internet chess with the Grim Reaper, why did he play 1.d4? Because he knew not to go against 1.e4 c5 when Death is on the line!
  • Why does the Grim Reaper carry a Syth Because his job is to cut lawns
Grim joke, Why does the Grim Reaper carry a Syth

Howlingly Hilarious Grim Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about grim you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grim pranks.

A man is feeling horrible and goes to the doctor.

The doctor runs numerous tests that last for hours. Finally, he walks back in, a grim expression on his face.
"I have your results back," the doctor says, "and I'm afraid it's not good. I'm going to tell you this directly, you really don't have long to live."
The man is understandably stunned and struggles to find the right words. "I-I... how long do I have?"
The doctor sighs. "10."
There's a pause before the man speaks "Ten? Ten what? Ten weeks, ten months?"
"9."

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

Grim Reaper

A man and his wife are at home watching TV when suddenly the doorbell rings.
The man opens the door to see the Grim Reaper standing in front of him.
He turns around to his wife and says "Honey, it's for you!".

A Russian meets his friend. He says, "Dima, my friend, you look so grim, what's the matter?"

"You see, Petya, every night my wife keeps having dreams where she's seeing Putin" says Dima.
"So?" says Petya.
Dima replies, "Yesterday I yelled at her and told her to stop seeing him."
"What happened next?" probes Petya.
And Dima replies, "Last night, I had a dream where an FSB colonel hinted at me that I should leave this matter alone."

The grim reaper approaches p**... and says "I'm death"

p**... says "I'll talk louder then"

Jesus is sitting in heaven looking glum, when St Paul says

"You've been down lately, come join me for yoga this afternoon, it'll improve your energy levels and perk you right up, Lord"

Jesus looks up, his expression remaining grim

"I'll pass, I've had bad experiences with Pilates"

Grim joke, Why does the Grim Reaper go on so many dates?

jokes about grim