The Best 41 Grim Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Grim jokes. There are some grim expression jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these grim gruesome puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Grim Jokes and Puns

Why did the Grim Reaper go to the shoe repair shop?

To get some soles!

A man is feeling horrible and goes to the doctor.

The doctor runs numerous tests that last for hours. Finally, he walks back in, a grim expression on his face.

"I have your results back," the doctor says, "and I'm afraid it's not good. I'm going to tell you this directly, you really don't have long to live."

The man is understandably stunned and struggles to find the right words. "I-I... how long do I have?"

The doctor sighs. "10."

There's a pause before the man speaks "Ten? Ten what? Ten weeks, ten months?"

"9."

Who comes to visit before a sexual assault?

The Grim Raper....

Grim joke, Who comes to visit before a sexual assault?

Death comes upon you. What do you tell him?

A man is wandering through a film studio, when he suddenly hears a loud crack. He looks up, and almost in slow motion, he sees a giant set piece falling towards him.

With a silent puff, the Grim Reaper appears beside him. In a panic, he points and shouts:

"Sean Bean is over there! "

Inspired by a battlenet forum post for Hearthstone :)

What does the grim reaper and a pedophile have in common?

They both take people before their time.


Today at my school, someone dressed up as the Reaper for Orange Ribbon week

He was looking pretty Grim

I was thrown out of the hospital for improper conduct with children

Apparently dressing up like the grim reaper and pointing at anti-vaxxer's kids isn't okay.

Grim joke, I was thrown out of the hospital for improper conduct with children

Michael Jackson was briefly appointed the new Grim Reaper.

He was fired because all he did was sell Pop Sickles.

What happens if you try to sit on Death's couch?

There will be grim reaper cushions

My wife makes life a fairy tale

Grim.

What do you say about someone who has a grim future?

That they are full of poo-tential.

You can explore grim bleak reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean grim sinister dad jokes. There are also grim puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Carrie Fisher dead at 60.

Her last words were "aren't you a little short for a grim reaper."

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

Why does the grim reaper need a hearing aid?

Because he's deaf.

Did you hear about the guy who had a crush on the Grim Reaper?

I heard he beat it to death.

Grim Reaper

A man and his wife are at home watching TV when suddenly the doorbell rings.
The man opens the door to see the Grim Reaper standing in front of him.

He turns around to his wife and says "Honey, it's for you!".

Grim joke, Grim Reaper

Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.

...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.

What is the grim reapers favorite kind of music?

Soul.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night but I beat him away with a vacuum cleaner...

Talk about Dyson with death.


What would you name a coffee shop in a funeral home?

Grim Horton's

TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month

But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.

Why does the grim reaper refuse to acquire any exhalation-based reflex from a stereotypical latin name?

It takes yawn from no Juans

You CAN decorate your sofa with pictures of Death in a hooded cloak...

But there will be grim repercussions.

I was told that my actions could have grim repercussions.

I though ' isn't that what Death sits on?'

With a grim look on his face, my doctor told me I had onomatopoeia. Breaking in to a cold sweat, I gasped, What's that?!

He whispered, It's exactly what it sounds like.

The grim reaper approaches Paddy and says "I'm death"

Paddy says "I'll talk louder then"

If the Grim Reaper didn't know what died....

he would really hate middle aged dads during summer.

Did you hear the one about the gay Grim Reaper?

He had skeletons in his closet.

When Gary Kasparov played a game of internet chess with the Grim Reaper, why did he play 1.d4?

Because he knew not to go against 1.e4 c5 when Death is on the line!

Jason Voorhees: Celebrity Pet Psychologist

The Grim, Single-Minded Machete-Wielding Determination to End Your Pet's Behavioral Problems.

Why couldn't the Grim Reaper go to war?

Because he supports all troops

What is the Grim Reaper's favorite kind of drink?

Mortali-tea!

A Russian meets his friend. He says, "Dima, my friend, you look so grim, what's the matter?"

"You see, Petya, every night my wife keeps having dreams where she's seeing Putin" says Dima.

"So?" says Petya.

Dima replies, "Yesterday I yelled at her and told her to stop seeing him."

"What happened next?" probes Petya.

And Dima replies, "Last night, I had a dream where an FSB colonel hinted at me that I should leave this matter alone."

How does the Grim Reaper keep his cloak so black?

He uses dye!

Why does the Grim Reaper go on so many dates?

He's deathperate

The Grim Reaper came for me last night

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

I've made some soft furnishings for Death himself, but he doesn't like them.

I'm afraid there'll be grim repercussions.

Who collects the souls of people who die while fixing things?

The Grim Repair.

How does the Grim Reaper have children?

Reaper-duction

What do you call a cleaning skeleton?

The grim sweeper

What do you call a serious man with a scythe that sneaks around outside people's windows?

The grim peeper.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the grim clipboard jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working grim macabre piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes