Greyhound Jokes
25 greyhound jokes and hilarious greyhound puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about greyhound that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with our collection of the best Greyhound jokes. Whether you have a Greyhound, an Italian Greyhound, a Hound, a Terrier, a Carousel, or any other kind of pup, you'll love these hilarious jokes.
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Funniest Greyhound Short Jokes
Short greyhound jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The greyhound humour may include short hound dog jokes also.
- What's the difference between jimmy savile and a greyhound. The Greyhound waits for the hair to appear first.
- Yo Mama So Poor.... She can't afford to fly off the handle, when she gets mad, she has to greyhound off the handle.
- What's the difference between a run-down Greyhound stop and a crabby, decrepit prosititute? The first is a crusty bus station, whereas the second is an accurate description of your mother.
- Last week, the CEO of Planters Peanuts rented an entire Greyhound bus to ship 1 prototype peanut across the country. What does that mean he did? He bussed a nut
- What do you get if you cross an Old English Sheepdog and a Persian Greyhound? A Pom-Iranian.
- What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station, the other is a b**... crustacean
- Whats the difference between a greyhound station and a big titted lobster... Ones a crusty bus station. The other is a b**... crustacean
- What's the difference between a greyhound and a p**...? A greyhound waits for the hare to come out first
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Greyhound One Liners
Which greyhound one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with greyhound? I can suggest the ones about stray dog and husky.
- Old joke: I went to Vegas in a $20k car ... and returned in a $200k Greyhound bus
- I drove to Vegas in a $25,000 Chevy and came home in a $250,000 vehicle A greyhound bus.
- When is a black dog not a black dog? When he is a greyhound
- What do you do with a no-legged greyhound? Take it drag racing
- I accidentally dumped white flour on my black labrador… …now she's a greyhound.
- One injured in Greyhound rollover in Texas. But the rest of the puppies are fine.
- What type of dog committed genocide? Well, greyhounds finish races all the time.
- What do you do if your greyhound is too big? You whippet.
- A newfie sits next to a c**... on a greyhound bus And says "So, where you be headin'?"
Happy Greyhound Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about greyhound you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean doggy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make greyhound pranks.
Three racehorses were standing in a field.
One says, you know, I've won ten races in my life.
And I've won twenty races! Brags the second horse.
The third horse is much older then them both. He says, That's nothing! I've won fifty races!
Suddenly they all hear laughing, and they turn their heads to see a greyhound trotting through the field.
Amateurs! The dog laughs. I've been in a thousand races, and I've won all of them!
The horses are all shocked. As the dog strolls past them, they stare in silence. Then the old horse says, Holy s**...! a talking dog!
Gambling in Vegas
My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went to town in a $20,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche.
I thought "nice, I'm going to get in on that." So I left for Vegas in my $30,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle.
A Greyhound bus.
A blind person stopped at a crosswalk. When he couldn't hear any traffic, he asked if it was clear to walk. The man next to him said the only thing coming was a dog.
He stepped off the curb and was immediately hit by a greyhound bus.
