Grey Hair Jokes
34 grey hair jokes and hilarious grey hair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grey hair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Grey Hair Short Jokes
Short grey hair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grey hair humour may include short gray hair jokes also.
- The NHS has just revealed a list of long-term side effects of vaccines! - Old age
- Grey hair
- General decrease of diseases - Daniel Craig was explaining why his character had grey hair for the first time ever in the franchise. No Time To Dye
- There is a reason why Daniel Craig has grey hair in the new James Bond film... ... it's because he's got 'No time to Dye'.
- A police artist is drawing a sketch. Police artist: "So, he had grey hair, grey eyes, grey shoes, medium build, no glasses and wore a grey suit."
Dog: "Correct!" - I was so excited. My wife said she wanted to live the life of 50 Shades of Grey ... Then she stopped dyeing her hair.
- What would u call a deaf man with a red hair and grey mustache.? U could call him anything... He wouldn't hear it...
- I found a grey hair today and I guess it's true what they say once you go grey, you never go black
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Grey Hair One Liners
Which grey hair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grey hair? I can suggest the ones about brown hair and red hair.
- My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!
- Grey hair is hereditary. You get it from your children.
- I just got my first grey hair. This is the last time I let grandma cook dinner for me.
- I found my first grey p**... hair today I just didn't expect it to be in my Big Mac
- Found my first grey p**... hair last night. Just a shame it was in a kebab.
- My wifes hair is so s**..., Its 50 shades of grey.
Gather Around for Fun Grey Hair Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about grey hair you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blue hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grey hair pranks.
Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?
A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!
The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found my first grey p**... hair today.
However, i didn't freak out about it like the other people in the elevator.
Husband Wanted
A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70s),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell.
Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.
He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,
'Rang the doorbell, didn't I?'
Greying hair
A boy asked his dad "Why does hair turn grey?"
His dad considered his own grey hair and said "Son, everytime you do something shameful, I get a grey hair. Whenever you don't try your best, I get another grey hair. And when you don't listen to your parents, I get another grey hair!"
The boy said back "I was asking about grandpa's grey hair"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Complimenting the wife
An Irish man's wife is standing n**... in front of the mirror, looking at her body and feeling distraught by what she sees.
"Oh p**..., look at me! I'm hideous! I'm overweight, me t**... are saggy and me hair's starting to go grey.
"Could you please pay me a compliment to make me feel better about meself?"
p**... looks up from his book and says to his wife,
"Ah well... at least we know ye have perfect eyesight!"
Mom, Why is your hair turning grey?
There was once a naughty little girl who was always getting in trouble and she asked her mother one day "Mom, why is your hair turning grey?" And her mother replied "Every time you do something bad, I get another grey hair." The girl got a puzzled look on her face. A moment later, the girl starts chuckling. "What's so funny my dear?" her mother asks to which her daughter replied, "Thinking of Grandma's hair made me realize that you must have been a really bad girl!"
3 wives want to decide what to wear
The first one says, "My husband has black hair so I will wear a black dress"
The second one says, "My husband has grey hair so I will wear a grey dress"
The third wife, on hear this starts panicking.
When asked she tell the other two, "My husband is bald"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's worse than finding your first grey p**... hair......
....finding it between your teeth.
Marriage jokes
A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, 'Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?' Her husband replies, 'Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades.'
I happened to be in court when I noticed a wrinkled old lady with grey hair sat up high...
I asked her, "You mind if I ask how old you are?"
She shouted back, "Thirty, love!"
I thought she was just messing with me so I replied, "No, really, how old are you?"
She yelled at me, "Forty, love!"
I realised then I should get back to my tennis match.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Labor union joke
A labor union organizer goes to a w**... and asks the madam if the girls are in a union. "Sorry," she replies, so he leaves.
He goes to a second w**..., and again asks the madam if the girls are in a union. When told they are not, he asks, "How can I spend my money here when you do not share your profits with your labor?" and leaves.
He goes to a third w**... and again asks the madam if the girls are in a union. "They are," the madam proudly replies. "Great," he says. "I'll go with that cute little blonde over there." "You can't," the madam says. "You have to go with the old grey-haired lady over there. She has seniority."
A lonely widow...
A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!" She snorted.
"You don't have any arms either!" Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed???" The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said.... "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
Winter weather emergency
On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in the back woods of Minnesota were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so snow plows can get through conveniently".
So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio
announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." And the power goes off.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?"
With all the love and understanding that men who are married to blondes (and those with grey hair) always exhibit, the husband replied, "Honey, why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."
Lonely widow.
A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME &
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a
wheelchair.. He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?
Just look at you...you have no legs!
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said...
Rang the doorbell didn't I?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
50 Shades of Grey
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "fifty shades of grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to s**....
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there n**... and n**...
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
