The Best 40 Greg Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Greg jokes. There are some greg andy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these greg chris puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Greg Jokes and Puns

Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg

The Gregorian calendar

A good one for parties

So Steve, Greg, and I (put friends names in of course) were walking down a dirt road when we saw a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. We are all thinking the same thing so I go and have my way with it and they turn their backs. After I am done Steve goes and has his way with it, while Greg and I turn our backs. Then Greg goes over the fence and we are waiting and waiting and waiting... Finally we turn around and there is Greg, with his head stuck in the fence.

What would Gregor Mendel pray for if he had a blender for his experiments?

Whirled Peas

When Gregor Mendel did his groundbreaking experiments with pea plants, ... was a classic case of publish or parish.

jokes about greg

TIL Micheal Bay's 'Pearl Harbour' made almost $ 200 million...

...I thought that it bombed!

[re-worded Greg Proops joke from DLM]

What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows

Yeah, I know it's old....

Have you ever seen Gregor Clegane fight?

It'll blow your mind.





I'm sorry.

Greg joke, Have you ever seen Gregor Clegane fight?

Invention of the knife

"What is that?"

I call it the 'knife'.

"Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"

Greg, I am about to blow your mind.

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot?

Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

Two fish in a tank

Fish 1: uh, Greg?

Fish 2: what

Fish 1: how do we drive this thing

I had an Australian "Kangaroo" beer the other day

It was too hoppy!

-Greg Hahn

You can explore greg jaime reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean greg cindy dad jokes. There are also greg puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Greg was so hungry he ate a frozen steak.

He hadn't really thawed it out.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

Heisenberg's wife was unhappy...

because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum.

Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad.

"Oh my god! Sarah Jessica Parker is a competitive sprinter?!"

"Greg, calm down! This is just the Kentucky Derby."

A Bicycle and a Unicycle walk into a bar...

A bicycle and a unicycle are thirsty so they walk into a bar. The unicycle says, "AAAAAAAAAAHH." The bicycle asks the unicycle what's wrong and the unicycle says

"I'm sorry Greg, I just can't handle bars"

Greg joke, A Bicycle and a Unicycle walk into a bar...

Im not sure who named the Gregorian calender ,probably some guy called Greg.

Or Ian.

What does Gregor Samsa take when he has a sore throat?

A Kafka drop.

My buddy Greg just lost both his arms...

He used to be such a cheery guy, so full of life ,but he hasn't laughed or smiled once at any of my jokes since his accident...

He doesn't have a single humerus bone in his body.

Greg wins £25,000,000.00 in the nationally lottery and runs home

"Margret, I won the lottery, pack your bags", "why Greg, where are we going?". "I don't care, pack your bags and get out" says Greg.

What's the similarity between a giraffe and an elephant?

- I don't know, What ?

-They both start With the letter G

-What? That makes no sense??

-The elephant's name is Greg

Everyone was tired of hearing Greg complain about his car troubles

It was always a Saab story

Steve always thought Greg's wife was hot.

Steve: How about me and you do a little wife-swapping?

Greg: Steve, you're not married.

Steve: C'mon man, I'll get you back later.

Ethiopian Food

Me: Hey, Greg, do you like Ethiopian food?

Greg: Yeah, had it last week, it was pretty good.

Me: Hey, Josh, have you had Ethiopian food?

Josh: Yeah.

Me: They didn't.

"Greg and I were playing a drinking game last night when I decided to come out to him."

"Really? How'd that go?"

"Great! He drank me under the table!"

2 cannibals Greg and Alan

Greg and Alan start eating their fresh kill, Greg starts at the head and Alan starts at the feet.

About 15 minutes into dinner Greg, eating the head still, asks the Alan how he is doing

Alan replies "I'm having a ball Greg."

Greg says "slow down your eating too fast."

Greg joke, 2 cannibals Greg and Alan

Hi, my name is Gregory.

Greg for short, Grego for medium.

During the annual cavemen conference ...

Greg : so I kept rubbing this rock against another rock until it became very thin and now I can cut vegetables,meat using this . I call this "The Knife" .

Chief Gogo : wow , I thought no-one can beat Gorg's invention of using wheat flour and water to create a new food called "bread" but yours is a worthy contender

Greg " that's not it ,chief "

And then places a piece of bread on the stone and takes the knife in his hand

" What I'm about to do will blow your mind " .

Husband: Grab some updog on your way home hon..

Wife: for the last time Greg, the kids an I are never coming back. Stop calling us, please...

Husband: not much, what's up with you?

My cat's last words to me...

"Greg, stop doing acid"

Mary said God impregnated her...

... we have an entire religion based on a girl who REALLY stuck to her story.

\- Greg Giraldo

Hi I'm Greg, and I'm a compulsive liar...

"We don't believe you"

Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and Rick Perry are stuck on a deserted island, who survives?


Today I read that the average group of friends has 1 murderer...

Greg was acting very suspicious latetly so I had to kill him before he could do any harm.

Doctor: Mr. Stephens,I'm sorry to inform you that you have a rare disease.

Mr. Stephens: How rare?

Doctor: Would you prefer Stephens Disease or Greg Stephen's Disease for the name?

A grasshopper walks into a bar..

The bartender says, hey man, we have a drink named after you. The grasshopper says, you have a drink named Greg?

Did you know Gregorian monks aren't allowed to make puns?

They cant

Breaking: governor Greg Abbott halts all commerce in the state of Texas

The governor has stated he is committed to stopping all "trans actions" no matter what form they may take

ted cruz, greg abbott, and the uvalde swat team run into a bar

because they heard a car backfire

Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?

January = Greg

February = Ian

March = Greg

April = Ian

May = Ian

June = Greg

July = Ian

August = Greg

September = Greg

October = Ian

November = Greg

December = Ian

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the greg geoff puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working greg andrew piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes