Greg Jokes
45 greg jokes and hilarious greg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about greg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Greg Short Jokes
Short greg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The greg humour may include short tony jokes also.
- Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg The Gregorian calendar
- Husband: Grab some updog on your way home hon.. Wife: for the last time Greg, the kids an I are never coming back. Stop calling us, please...
Husband: not much, what's up with you? - My new cat is obsessed with sitting on the calendar, so I took that as an inspiration for his name I'm still doubting between Greg or Ian
- A grasshopper walks into a bar.. The bartender says, hey man, we have a drink named after you. The grasshopper says, you have a drink named Greg?
- Greg wins £25,000,000.00 in the nationally lottery and runs home "Margret, I won the lottery, pack your bags", "why Greg, where are we going?". "I don't care, pack your bags and get out" says Greg.
- Doctor: Mr. Stephens,I'm sorry to inform you that you have a rare disease. Mr. Stephens: How rare?
Doctor: Would you prefer Stephens Disease or Greg Stephen's Disease for the name? - Invention of the knife "What is that?"
I call it the 'knife'.
"Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"
Greg, I am about to blow your mind. - Breaking: governor Greg Abbott halts all commerce in the state of Texas The governor has stated he is committed to stopping all "trans actions" no matter what form they may take
- Everyone always wonders why I call my friend Gregory, "Y"... Everyone always wonders why I call my friend Gregory, "Y" ...
Well, his name is Greg-or-y... so I chose "Y." - Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum.
Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad.
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Greg One Liners
Which greg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with greg? I can suggest the ones about golf and frank.
- Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and rick perry are stuck on a deserted island, who survives? Texas
- Two fish in a tank Fish 1: uh, Greg?
Fish 2: what
Fish 1: how do we drive this thing - Hi, my name is Gregory. Greg for short, Grego for medium.
- Im not sure who named the Gregorian calender ,probably some guy called Greg. Or Ian.
- Greg was so hungry he ate a frozen steak. He hadn't really thawed it out.
- I had an Australian "Kangaroo" beer the other day It was too hoppy!
-Greg Hahn - Hi I'm Greg, and I'm a compulsive liar... "We don't believe you"
- My cat's last words to me... "Greg, stop doing acid"
- Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? greg.
Greg Abbott Jokes
Here is a list of funny greg abbott jokes and even better greg abbott puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- ted cruz, greg abbott, and the uvalde swat team run into a bar because they heard a car backfire
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Greg Jokes
What funny jokes about greg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make greg pranks.
During the annual cavemen conference ...
Greg : so I kept rubbing this rock against another rock until it became very thin and now I can cut vegetables,meat using this . I call this "The Knife" .
Chief Gogo : wow , I thought no-one can beat Gorg's invention of using wheat flour and water to create a new food called "bread" but yours is a worthy contender
Greg " that's not it ,chief "
And then places a piece of bread on the stone and takes the knife in his hand
" What I'm about to do will blow your mind " .
Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?
January = Greg
February = Ian
March = Greg
April = Ian
May = Ian
June = Greg
July = Ian
August = Greg
September = Greg
October = Ian
November = Greg
December = Ian
Today I read that the average group of friends has 1 m**......
Greg was acting very suspicious latetly so I had to kill him before he could do any harm.
Did you know Gregorian monks aren't allowed to make puns?
They cant
2 cannibals Greg and Alan
Greg and Alan start eating their fresh kill, Greg starts at the head and Alan starts at the feet.
About 15 minutes into dinner Greg, eating the head still, asks the Alan how he is doing
Alan replies "I'm having a ball Greg."
Greg says "slow down your eating too fast."
Steve always thought Greg's wife was hot.
Steve: How about me and you do a little wife-swapping?
Greg: Steve, you're not married.
Steve: C'mon man, I'll get you back later.
What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?
Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows
Yeah, I know it's old....
A good one for parties
So Steve, Greg, and I (put friends names in of course) were walking down a dirt road when we saw a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. We are all thinking the same thing so I go and have my way with it and they turn their backs. After I am done Steve goes and has his way with it, while Greg and I turn our backs. Then Greg goes over the fence and we are waiting and waiting and waiting... Finally we turn around and there is Greg, with his head stuck in the fence.
My buddy Greg just lost both his arms...
He used to be such a cheery guy, so full of life ,but he hasn't laughed or smiled once at any of my jokes since his accident...
He doesn't have a single humerus bone in his body.
A Bicycle and a Unicycle walk into a bar...
A bicycle and a unicycle are thirsty so they walk into a bar. The unicycle says, "AAAAAAAAAAHH." The bicycle asks the unicycle what's wrong and the unicycle says
"I'm sorry Greg, I just can't handle bars"
What would Gregor Mendel pray for if he had a blender for his experiments?
Whirled Peas
Everyone was tired of hearing Greg complain about his car troubles
It was always a Saab story
What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?
Give me one more chants!
Ethiopian Food
Me: Hey, Greg, do you like Ethiopian food?
Greg: Yeah, had it last week, it was pretty good.
Me: Hey, Josh, have you had Ethiopian food?
Josh: Yeah.
Me: They didn't.
What's the similarity between a giraffe and an elephant?
- I don't know, What ?
-They both start With the letter G
-What? That makes no sense??
-The elephant's name is Greg
Have you ever seen Gregor Clegane fight?
It'll blow your mind.
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.
.
.
I'm sorry.
TIL Micheal Bay's 'Pearl Harbour' made almost $ 200 million...
...I thought that it bombed!
[re-worded Greg Proops joke from DLM]
Mary said God impregnated her...
... we have an entire religion based on a girl who REALLY stuck to her story.
\- Greg Giraldo