Green Pea Jokes
24 green pea jokes and hilarious green pea puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about green pea that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Green Pea Short Jokes
Short green pea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The green pea humour may include short green beans jokes also.
- How do you catch a polar bear? You cut a big hole in the ice and line the edge with green peas.
When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole! - A Spaniard is counting small green vegetables... "Uno pea, dos pea, tres pea, cuatro pea", and then he fainted.
- What's the difference between blue whales and green peas? A leprechaun doesn't get offended if you ask him if his whale's blue.
- What do you have if you have two little green peas in your hand? Kermits undivided attention
- What's the difference between a chickpea and a green pea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a green pea on him.
- Why was the pea small and green? Because if it were big and red, it would be a fire truck.
- Why should you never eat Jolly Green Giant vegetables? Because he always stands over the corn and peas.
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Green Pea One Liners
Which green pea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with green pea? I can suggest the ones about peas and black eyed pea.
- Why do green beans meditate? To find inner peas!
- Why did the green bean go to jail? He was disturbing the peas.
- Which is the most environmentally friendly vegetable? Green peas.
- What STD does the Jolly Green Giant get? Le Sueur Peas
- How do you make a blonde's brain resemble a pea? You inflate it and paint it green.
- What did Mrs. Jolly Green Giant give her husband on their wedding night? Her peas.
- What's small, green and goes round and round? ..a pea in a microwave.
Green Pea Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about green pea you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chickpea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make green pea pranks.
How do you catch an elephant?
First, you'll need to dig a hole deep enough for an elephant. Proceed to complete surround the hole with green peas and fill the bottom of the hole with ashes.
*Once the elephant bends down to take a pee, kick it in the ash hole.*
An employee at a supermarket
An overworked and underpaid employee was stocking shelves at his local supermarket. Naturally, he was very tired and didn't care about anything going on around him. Out of nowhere, an old woman with a Karen haircut comes up to him and says "hey you, tell me what those little green things in the pods are called before I hit you so hard your children have bruises. I need these for my diet." The employee, wanting nothing to do with this lady, simply rolls his head around, makes direct eye contact with the lady and says, "b**..., peas".
How do you catch a polar bear?
How do you catch a polar bear?
First you have to cut a big hole in the ice.
Then you open a can of green peas and put the peas around the hole.
Finally, when the bear comes to take a pea - you kick it in the pea hole!
How to catch a polar bear
Needed tools: one can of Jolly Green Giant Green Peas and an ice saw.
Step one: cut a polar bear sized hole in the ice
Step two: drain the juice from the peas and place them one at a time all the way around the hole you just cut in the ice.
Step three: when the polar bear come along to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.