Greedy Jokes

37 greedy jokes and hilarious greedy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about greedy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Greedy Short Jokes

Short greedy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The greedy humour may include short stingy jokes also.

  1. Before EA announced their plans for SW:Battlefront 2, I was pretty sure they were just a greedy company. That now has changed. Now I am definitely sure they are just a greedy company.
  2. Lobsters are greedy. They never give anything to charity. They're just shellfish. But that's being too hard on them. Not everyone can afford to be a philanthropod.
  3. The neighbors were greedy, selfish, rude, and had come into money from their family's milk farm. They were dairy heirs.
  4. Saying "Oh, look, here comes the jew laywer" is neither racist nor an insult. It's a compliment. Everyone knows jewish people make the best lawyers. Because they're sneaky. And greedy.
  5. Every time I get greedy and take more than my fair share, I break out in hives. I must be allergic to selfish.
  6. A kid asks his greedy father money to buy a police costume for Halloween He told him just go undercover.
  7. Why did the baker not allow greedy people to eat his goods? Because he wanted his produce to be glutton free.
  8. A greedy girl went outside to take the trash bag to the curb and returned with two trash bags.
  9. Doc, i need pills against my greediness Gimme more! More!
  10. What do you call a greedy roman god? Jewpiter.

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Greedy One Liners

Which greedy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with greedy? I can suggest the ones about hungry and generous.

  1. What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster? Shellfish.
  2. What do you call a greedy crab? Shell fish......
  3. You shouldn't worry about headaches I mean, it's all in your head.
  4. A greedy lawyer walks into a bar Sorry. I didn't mean to be redundant.
  5. How does a greedy nut sound when it sneezes? Cashew
  6. The pleasure is all mine... The greeting of a greedy hedonist.
  7. What do you call a greedy clam? My Ex-Wife.
  8. What do u call a greedy lesbian? Bush hog.
  9. Did you hear about the greedy red bird? It was a cardinal sinner.
  10. Who is the most greedy scoundrel in all of Tamriel? Khajit Pai.
  11. What did the clam with a lisp say to his greedy friend? You're so shelfish!
  12. What do you call a greedy Christian? A moreman.
  13. What do you call a greedy Italian? A penne pincher
  14. TIL Canadians are quite greedy Give then an inch, and they'll ask for 2.54cm.
  15. What do you call a greedy kangaroo A kangajew

Greedy joke, What do you call a greedy kangaroo

Hilarious Greedy Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about greedy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean selfish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make greedy pranks.

A greedy man, a r**..., and an alcoholic...

A greedy man, a r**..., and an alcoholic meet a genie. The genie says to them, "If you can resist your urges I will grant you each one wish. But should you fail, you will disappear" The three men agreed and tried to go a full day without alcohol, r**..., and theft. The alcoholic's wife leaves him so he takes a drink, then he disappears. Later the greedy man is on the bus and a lady drops a dollar. The man bends down to keep it, and the r**... disappears.

Men are greedy b**....

A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.
The husband says, "Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful b**... should remember - fairies are female.

Most people would think "n**..." is a racist term, but it actually isnt racist at all. It just means selfish or greedy.

For example: all Jews are n**....

What does a signboard outside a p**...'s house say?

Married men not allowed here. Because we serve the needy, not the greedy.

Greedy joke, Every time I get greedy and take more than my fair share, I break out in hives.