The Best 25 Greedy Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Greedy jokes. There are some greedy heartless jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these greedy arrogant puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Greedy Jokes and Puns

A greedy man, a rapist, and an alcoholic...

A greedy man, a rapist, and an alcoholic meet a genie. The genie says to them, "If you can resist your urges I will grant you each one wish. But should you fail, you will disappear" The three men agreed and tried to go a full day without alcohol, rape, and theft. The alcoholic's wife leaves him so he takes a drink, then he disappears. Later the greedy man is on the bus and a lady drops a dollar. The man bends down to keep it, and the rapist disappears.

Men are greedy bastards.

A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.

"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.

The husband says, "Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.

Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember - fairies are female.

What do u call a greedy lesbian?

Bush hog.

Greedy joke, What do u call a greedy lesbian?

What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster?


What do you call a greedy kangaroo

A kangajew

The pleasure is all mine...

The greeting of a greedy hedonist.

What do you call a greedy crab?

Shell fish......

Greedy joke, What do you call a greedy crab?

Why did the baker not allow greedy people to eat his goods?

Because he wanted his produce to be glutton free.

What do you call a greedy Christian?

A moreman.

Did you hear about the greedy red bird?

It was a cardinal sinner.

What did the clam with a lisp say to his greedy friend?

You're so shelfish!

You can explore greedy avid reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean greedy haram dad jokes. There are also greedy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call a greedy clam?

My Ex-Wife.

How does a greedy nut sound when it sneezes?


Before EA announced their plans for SW:Battlefront 2, I was pretty sure they were just a greedy company. That now has changed.

Now I am definitely sure they are just a greedy company.

Who is the most greedy scoundrel in all of Tamriel?

Khajit Pai.

What does a signboard outside a prostitute's house say?

Married men not allowed here. Because we serve the needy, not the greedy.

Greedy joke, What does a signboard outside a prostitute's house say?

Lobsters are greedy. They never give anything to charity. They're just shellfish.

But that's being too hard on them. Not everyone can afford to be a philanthropod.

TIL Canadians are quite greedy

Give then an inch, and they'll ask for 2.54cm.

A kid asks his greedy father money to buy a police costume for Halloween

He told him just go undercover.

Most people would think "niggardly" is a racist term, but it actually isnt racist at all. It just means selfish or greedy.

For example: all Jews are niggardly.

Saying "Oh, look, here comes the jew laywer" is neither racist nor an insult. It's a compliment.

Everyone knows jewish people make the best lawyers. Because they're sneaky. And greedy.

Every time I get greedy and take more than my fair share, I break out in hives.

I must be allergic to selfish.

What do you call a greedy Italian?

A penne pincher

The neighbors were greedy, selfish, rude, and had come into money from their family's milk farm.

They were dairy heirs.

I'm a greedy farmer who gets really bad headaches

They're my grains

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the greedy beemer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working greedy hor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes