Greece Jokes
145 greece jokes and hilarious greece puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about greece that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover hilarious Ancient Greece jokes perfect for any occasion. Explore classic Athenian quips, Denmark puns, and laughing at the mysterious Tac. Enjoy lifting spirits and have a good chuckle with these Greece jokes.
Funniest Greece Short Jokes
Short greece jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The greece humour may include short ancient greece jokes also.
- How do you get rich in Ancient Greece? Well, step one, become an oracle. Step two: Prophet.
- The elites and nobles of Ancient Greece would often pay Diogenes with grape or bread in exchange for his wisdom. It's food for thought.
- The firefighters in Greece are making the fire worse. You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires.
- A gay man was reading a holiday brochure then he tells his partner... "this year we should try Greece"
his partner looks up n asks him "whats wrong with the Vaseline? - The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was.... My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.
- Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece? That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan.
- Greece announced they are going to default on their nearly 1.8 billion dollar loan Who would've thought the country that invented the philosophy major would be broke?
- The Greeks made a weapon that caught things on fire and could not be put out with water, it only made the flames bigger. They called it Greece fire.
- What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner? The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.
- All the great Greek philosophers died as they lived... A long time ago, and probably in Greece
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Greece One Liners
Which greece one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with greece? I can suggest the ones about grease and export.
- What's the capital of Greece? About 5 euros.
- French fries weren't cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
- Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece.
- If Russia invaded turkey from the rear, Do you think Greece would help?
- Why is morning difficult in Athens? Because dawn is tough on Greece
- Europe must have a detergent based economy.. ..because it's tough on Greece.
- I saw a 2000 year old oil stain. It was from ancient Greece.
- What country does fried fish swim in? Greece!
(courtesy of my ten year old) - If I were to invade Djibouti... Do you think Greece would help? [read out loud]
- Eleven Years ago Greece won Euro 2004 Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros.
- Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down? Greece.
- They are making the next series of Walking Dead in Greece It's a total zombie Acropolis.
- Where was the french fry born? Greece!
Sorry it's the only joke I know :( - Exam question: According to Germany how much is Greece worth? [1 Mark]
- I think things are going to get much worst for Greece... I've seen the sequel.
Ancient Greece Jokes
Here is a list of funny ancient greece jokes and even better ancient greece puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know that in ancient Greece, Hippasus was exiled for discovering that some numbers could not be described with simple whole numbers or fractions? How irrational.
- A brief history of Ancient Greek culture Greece before Alexander the Great: Kinda nistic.
Greece after Alexander the Great: Hella nistic. - I wonder if, in Ancient Greece, Lighting strikes were considered an "Act of God" by insurance companies.
- Why was Hippocrates the most popular doctor in Ancient Greece? He has a great sense of humors.
- Why did the Persians invade ancient Greece? They were looking for weapons of math destruction.
I'll see myself out. - What would you call a mechanic on Ancient Greece? Mechanicles
- In Ancient Greece It was Gods Playin' Gods Playin'
- There was once a time when being a politician was a respected profession... ...and this was during the times of Ancient Greece.
- You know those buildings in ancient Greece with all those pillars? I think they column pavilions.
- What was the name of the most famous stripper in Ancient Greece? Socra-tease
Gather Around for Heartwarming Greece Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about greece you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean euro jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make greece pranks.
Do you know why Germany will send their most unwanted prisoners to Greece?
Because whenever they send something to Greece, they'll never get it back.
A Guy Walks Into A Tailor In Ancient Greece
He tosses a toga onto the counter. The tailor picks it up, turns it over and finds a gash across the waist.
The tailor looks up at the man and says, "Euripides?"
The man nods and says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"
Greek/German joke I heard recently
So Angela Merkel decides to try to shore up some Euro solidarity by taking a vacation in Greece. When she gets to the border crossing, the guard looks over her papers and asks her "occupation?" "No," she replies, "just a vacation this time."
Thanksgiving in Bulgaria
Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Robbing a bank in Greece is like raiding a food warehouse in Uganda.
You look s**... and you get nothing out of it.
Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe
A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.
He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"
The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.
"Here you go."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Second Honeymoon
Wife was reading a travel magazine and asked her husband..
"Honey, should we try Greece for our second honeymoon?"
Husband replied "What's wrong with k**...?"
What do you call a Protestant in Greece?
Unorthodox
Why did the boy want to see a thunder storm in Greece?
Because Greece lightening
German teens sometimes say Ich bin Griechenland when they're broke which literally translates to I am Greece.
Since Greece is likely to default...
one could say the gyro-zone is going to leave the euro-zone.
Why didn't Greece vote for Tyrion?
Because a Lannister always pays his debts.
What is the most popular band in Greece right now?
Megadebt.
If you're going to Greece change your currency at the airport
Nor sure how you're going to get 100 goats on a plane though
Source: radio
What is the best way to lose money?
A: Lend it to Greece.
What does Dwight Schrute have in common with Greece
A bunch of dead beets.
What's the difference between Greece and a good software application?
Greece doesn't have default settings!
If Chile and Turkey had a war...
Would that be a recipe for disaster?
Would Greece get involved?
The IMF has announced that future Euros will be printed on Greece proof paper.
How do you have a rave in Greece?
Blu-Tac a euro to the ceiling
Living in Greece..
Living in "Greece " now is like being a Sanitary Napkin.
You're in the most beautiful place but in a bad period..!!
Going to Greece on holiday
So I was planning on going to Greece on holiday this summer, I call the hotel to make a reservation, the guy says it's a nice hotel, close to the beach, a nice swimming pool and that it's going to be 3000 Euros. I tell them that's a bit too much for my budget and they said I can rent it for 60 Euros/month if I don't want to buy it.
I don't know what I would do if I got to Greece...
...and couldn't get a single gyro.
Greece just demanded royalties from all countries in the world for using democracy
"As for Russia, they don't have to pay us anything"- Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras clarified earlier today.
Monopoly
I never thought that monopoly is such a realistic game until I saw Greece selling it's airport
On a scale of 1-15, how bad is the economic crisis in Greece?
Athen
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a dollar for every time Greece made a bad economical decision
Their economy would still be failing.
Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month.
She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro.
The German chancellor is traveling to greece
She arrives at immigration and the immigration officer says "nationality?"
The chancelor says "German"
Officer: occupation?
Chancelor: no not this time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL the New England Patriots can't play as well with a well oiled European football.
Greece inflates everything in Europe.
What's the slipperiest country?
Greece!
Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?
It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.
While Ajax sales have been going down...
It's still stronger than Greece
With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.
If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?
I found out today that French fries were weren't created in France.
They were created in Greece.
What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?
When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"
Coup attempt on Turkey from the rear
Did Greece help?
I found out my vacation to Greece is tax deductible
Apparently it falls under charity work
Why does the Olympic torch always start in Olympia?
Because it's hard to put out a Greece fire.
I'm Hungary
I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge
There is turkey
But it's covered in Greece
There's Norway I can eat that.
explain to me the greek economic crisis
Well that depends, do you have a degree in economics
no...
neither did greece
not mine, i forget where i heard it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On hearing that Mussolini's offensive against Greece is failing, h**... rings him up and asks: 'Won't you be in Athens soon?'
Mussolini replies back: 'And I suppose you're calling from London?'
What did the Greek soldier say when he quit the Army and joined ISIS?
He said he would rather Dionysis than fight one more day for Greece!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
20% of Syrians live in turmoil and unrest.
The other 80% live in the Greece, Germany, Sweden ect
Don't know why some countries have food problems
If you're Hungary you could pour Greece over Turkey and fry it in Japan.
I feel like I've eaten three countries!
...namely Turkey, Chile and Greece.
Angela Merkel visits Greece
Angela Merkel visits Greece. On her way through customs she gets stopped by an officer
'Nationality?' He asks
'German' she replies
'Occupation?'
'No, just visiting'
So, I was at the UN headquarters...
So, I was at the UN headquarters and I was feeling a bit Hungary, so I was Russian to the kitchen to get a slice of Turkey, but it was covered in Greece. There's Norway I'm eating that, so I got some Chile instead. Something just Francy enough for me.
Great dynasties of history
Egypt: Ayyubid
South Africa: Zulu
China: Ming
Greece: Helena
Italy: Medici
U.S.: Duck
I'm Hungary...
For some Turkey dripping in Greece.
Where were the first sausages cooked?
In *Greece*.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In ancient Greece, athletes had s**... with their trainers to show respect.
Someone should tell Larry Nassar this isn't ancient Greece.
Spain, Greece, Italy, and Portugal walk into a bar. Who pays?
Germoney.
Why do people start singing and dancing when there's a storm in Athens?
Greece Lightning.
Fat persons three favorite countries!??
Turkey, Hungary, & Greece :D
There are many marbleous statues in Greece
...but sadly many people take them for granite.
A giant destroyed three countries the other day
He picked up Turkey, dipped it in Greece and fried it in Japan.
The euro is being re-printed
on greece proof paper
Why was a Turkish plane trying to bomb Greece?
It was on otto pilot.
What are the roads like in Greece?
Slippery.
I dropped the thanksgiving dinner and caused a geopolitical incident.
The fall of Turkey. The splattering of Greece. And the breaking up of China.
