The Best 86 Gree Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Gree jokes. There are some gree degree jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gree kinda puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Gree Jokes and Puns
I don't usually greet working girls
But hey ho
A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab?
The German.
What's green and goes red at a flick of a switch.
Kermit in a blender.
Greek/German joke I heard recently
So Angela Merkel decides to try to shore up some Euro solidarity by taking a vacation in Greece. When she gets to the border crossing, the guard looks over her papers and asks her "occupation?" "No," she replies, "just a vacation this time."
What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?
What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?
Kermit the Frog's Finger!!
What's green and flies over Germany ?
Snazis.
This insanely corny joke brought to you by my Dad, circa 1990.
May he rest in peace!
A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.
he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."
A greedy man, a rapist, and an alcoholic...
A greedy man, a rapist, and an alcoholic meet a genie. The genie says to them, "If you can resist your urges I will grant you each one wish. But should you fail, you will disappear" The three men agreed and tried to go a full day without alcohol, rape, and theft. The alcoholic's wife leaves him so he takes a drink, then he disappears. Later the greedy man is on the bus and a lady drops a dollar. The man bends down to keep it, and the rapist disappears.
What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?
Irish pride
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley
Green Spots
Rebecca is worried about 2 green spots that appeared on her inner thighs. Although she is embarrassed, she goes to the doctor who looks and asks her ' Is your boyfriend a Gypsy? '
Rebecca says 'Yes, how did you know?'
So the doctor said 'Tell him his earrings are not gold'
You can explore gree dick reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gree pork dad jokes. There are also gree puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
what is green and, if stuck between your teeth, will kill you?
a tractor.
What did the greek cow say?
ΞΌ
What is green and eats nuts?
Syphilis
What do you have....
...when you have one green ball in your right hand, and one green ball in your left hand.
Answer: Complete control of the Jolly Green Giant.
A Greek and a Roman are arguing about who has the superior culture.
The Greek says "We built the Parthenon". The Roman says "Ah, but we built the Colosseum". The Greek responds "We invented democracy" and the Roman says "Yes, but we founded the great Roman Empire". Finally, the Greek says "We invented sex". The Roman replies "That's true, but we're the ones who thought of having it with women."
Green Thumbs
A father and son are walking through a park when the kid asks his dad "dad, why do they say gardeners have green thumbs? they're not green!" The father replies "oh, it's just a saying son... like when some one is caught stealing, we say they have been caught red handed, even though their hands are actually black."
*BUDUMM PAA*
Taken from some random (and clearly Racist) Newspapaer
How do the greek separate the men from the boys?
With a crow bar.
What is green and smells like a pig?
Kermit the frog's finger
What's green and bad for your eyes?
An alligator.
What is green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on to you from a tree in the jungle?
A snooker table. (Courtesy of Leigh Hart on the Alternative Commentary Collective during the New Zealand v South Africa Cricket World Cup semi-final)
Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly?
It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank.
Everyone loses.
What do the Greeks sing while at sea?
Ο Ο Ο your boat, gently down the stream...
A Greek and a Italian are having a beer.
The Greek Says
"You know, we invented sex."
Then the Italian turn's and looks at him.
"Well we brought women into it."
What do Greek Cats say?
ΞΌ.
I know Greenwich has a mean time,
But do they have a happy hour?
Greece announced they are going to default on their nearly 1.8 billion dollar loan
Who would've thought the country that invented the philosophy major would be broke?
When Greek people play a video game, what settings do they use?
Default
What does a Greek say when he receives his salary?
Danke schΓΆn.
The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic that it went bankrupt
Greek yogurt
Its just not as rich as it was before
What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common?
They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
Why are the Greeks so in debt?
They demand credit for everything
What's green with little red wheels?
Grass. I was lying about the little red wheels.
Missing my grandpa today. This was always his favorite.
Why do green beans meditate?
To find inner peas!
What is green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's fingers
What's green and sits on the porch?
Paddy O'Furniture.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
What is green and if you press a button its red?
A frog in a mixer.
Green Lantern
That name has a nice ring to it
What's green got 6 legs and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you ?
A pool table
Greenpeace have come up with a new name for shrimp hunting, claiming it's the same as mass murder.
They're calling it columbrine
What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies?
A garbage truck
What's green and not heavy?
Light green
Why don't the Bulgarians, Greeks, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?
Because they don't like Turkey.
What is green and has wheels
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
What's green and hurts when it hits you in the eye?
A snooker table
How do you greet a celiac German?
Gluten Tag
I once tried greeting everyone I met by saying "titanic"...
Turns out it wasn't a very good ice breaker
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe dammit, BREATHE!
I greeted the mailman at the door naked
He freaked out. Not so much because of my appearance, more because I knew where he lived.
What's green and covered in bacon grease?
Kermit's finger
What do little green men exhale?
Kerbin Dioxide
Why was the Greek God Apollo named that?
Because he was a chicken
What is green but turns red when you push the button
A frog in a blender
What do you do when you see a green alien?
Wait until they are ripe!
* I'm either really tired, or this is so stupid it's hilarious
What's green on the outside, red on the inside, and has watermelon seeds?
A watermelon!
Now,
What's green on the outside, red on the inside, has watermelon seeds, and isn't a watermelon?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Half a watermelon.
That's my dad's favorite joke.
Green chameleon for sale...
No, a red one.
No, blue.
No wait, a pink one.
Cool.
Never mind, I'm keeping it!
If you have a green ball in your right hand, and a green ball in your left
Then you have Kermit the Frog's undivided attention
Why don't Greek gods insult people anymore?
Because Icarus already had the sickest burn.
What is Green and weighs not that much
Light Green
Green is my favorite color.
I like it better than blue and yellow combined.
A Greek guy walks into a tavern and sees two sea monsters arguing
"What's up with them?" he asks.
"Oh, that's scylla and charybdis."
"Are they usually this angry?"
"Yeah, but they're not violent. Just don't get between them."
What is green and brown, has 6 legs and if fell out of a tree would probably kill you?
A snooker table.
What did the green grape say to the red grape?
BREATHE YOU IDIOT
There's a Greek myth about a stream whose water will attach itself to your skin for all eternity.
The river sticks
Why doesn't Greece have executions with guns anymore?
Because bullets cost money.
The Greeks invented threesomes
The Romans added the women
How do you greet a very clean woman?
Hi Jean
Why do greeks fly buisness?
Because they dont have an economy
What's green and doesn't weigh much?
Light green.
What do you have if you've got a green ball in each hand?
The Hulk's undivided attention.
What's green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?
A pool table
What is green and quickly turns red if you push a button?
A frog in a blender
I have green skin, a nose three times the size of the horn on my head, four brown teeth and my neck is covered in furry scales... what am I?
Ugly.
I'm a greedy farmer who gets really bad headaches
They're my grains
Greeks invented sex
And then Romans introduced women
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
What's green, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
What's green and red and goes round and round
A frog in a blender
Why Wasn't the Green Pepper Able to Participate in the Archery Competition?
It didn't habanero....
What is green fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.!!
What did the Greek philosopher name his religious themed screen printing shop in France.
Sacre' T's
What's green and has four wheels?
It's grass, I lied about the wheels.
What is green and loves going camping?
A Boy Sprout
What's green and red and goes 100 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
This joke brought to you by one of my first grade students who loudly shared it at lunch this week.
What's green and slimy and smells like bacon?
Kermit the Frog's finger
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gree tree jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working gree rank piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.