gree Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious gree puns

What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common?

They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.

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You have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball in your right hand, so what do you have?

Hulk's dick in your mouth.

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What do Green Eggs and Ham, and Fifty Shades of Gray have in common?

They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe dammit, BREATHE!

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There's a Greek myth about a stream whose water will attach itself to your skin for all eternity.

The river sticks

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The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic that it went bankrupt

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I greeted the mailman at the door naked

He freaked out. Not so much because of my appearance, more because I knew where he lived.

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A Greek and a Italian are having a beer.

The Greek Says
"You know, we invented sex."
Then the Italian turn's and looks at him.
"Well we brought women into it."

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Green chameleon for sale...

No, a red one.

No, blue.

No wait, a pink one.

Cool.

Never mind, I'm keeping it!

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Greek mythology in 3 words

Zeus got horny

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What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

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A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.

he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."

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What is green but turns red when you push the button

A frog in a blender

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What does a Greek say when he receives his salary?

Danke schΓΆn.

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A Greek, a Spaniard and a Portuguese all walk into a bar. Who pays?

Germany.

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Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly?

It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank.
Everyone loses.

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Why does green think yellow is such a slut?

Because yellow blue red.

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What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies?

A garbage truck

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How do you greet a very clean woman?

Hi Jean

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Why do green beans meditate?

To find inner peas!

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

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Greek/German joke I heard recently

So Angela Merkel decides to try to shore up some Euro solidarity by taking a vacation in Greece. When she gets to the border crossing, the guard looks over her papers and asks her "occupation?" "No," she replies, "just a vacation this time."

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What is green and smells like a pig?

Kermit the frog's finger

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What's green and flies over Germany ?

Snazis.


This insanely corny joke brought to you by my Dad, circa 1990.
May he rest in peace!

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Green Spots

Rebecca is worried about 2 green spots that appeared on her inner thighs. Although she is embarrassed, she goes to the doctor who looks and asks her ' Is your boyfriend a Gypsy? '
Rebecca says 'Yes, how did you know?'
So the doctor said 'Tell him his earrings are not gold'

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Green is my favorite color.

I like it better than blue and yellow combined.

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what is green and, if stuck between your teeth, will kill you?

a tractor.

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A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab?

The German.

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What is green and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

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A Greek and Italian were sitting at a coffee shop one day discussing who had the superior culture...

Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon." Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire." And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented doggy-style sex!" The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women!"

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So a Greek, Frenchman and Italian strand on an island

So after a while being stuck they decide to search for food.

Suddenly a tribe comes out of nowhere and took them as captive.

The tribe decided to interrogate them.

So the tribe decides to interrogate the Greek as first, after 1 hour the Greek comes out without feet.

He told everything after they cut his feet off.

Then they decided to interrogate the Frenchman, after 2 hours the Frenchman comes back without an ear.

The Frenchman told the tribe everything after the tribe cut his ear off.

At last the tribe decides to interrogate the Italian, after 20 hours the Italian came back without telling the tribe anything.

Impressed, the Greek asked why the Italian did not tell the tribe anything, the Italian said:

"I wanted to but they cut off my hands"!

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Greek vs Italian Culture

One day , two men, a Greek and an Italian were sitting in a coffee shop discussing who had the superior culture.

Over triple lattes the Greek says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics"

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian thinks for a moment and then replies, "Ah, yes, that is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are riding a train.

The Turks each buy one ticket, but the Greeks only buy one ticket total. The Turks are confused.

"How can you ride with one ticket?"

"Watch and you shall see."

The Greeks get on the train and pile into the bathroom. The Turks sit near the bathroom and observe. The conductor knocks on the door and says "Ticket please." The Greeks slide the ticket through the door.

The Turks think this is ingenious! They decide to try it, so on the ride back they buy only one ticket. But the Greeks don't buy any.

"How will you ride without any tickets?"

"Watch and you shall see."

They get on the train. The Turks pile into one bathroom, the Greeks into another. One Greek gets out of the bathroom, walks over to the bathroom the Turks are hiding in, and says:

"Ticket please."

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Greek mythology is my Achilles ankle.

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What are the most funny Gree jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Gree? Well, here are the best Gree dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Gree pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes