Greater Jokes
62 greater jokes and hilarious greater puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about greater that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Greater Short Jokes
Short greater jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The greater humour may include short higher jokes also.
- Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared. Apparently only DC movies can do that.
- Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
- Obama calls for greater truck control laws. Apparently the the truck in France had a fully automatic transmission.
- Newton said "The greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction" Yet here I am. Still single.
- Dad Joke My dad - who was a chef - always referred to the cheese knife as "the lesser implement". Once I was going to ask him "Dad, what's the greater implement?" but I just stopped myself in time.
- I recently took a trip to learn more about Greek culture and to gain a greater appreciation of their amazing works of art and architecture. The British museum is a really cool place.
- Thanos's snap in infinity war would've had a greater impact if marvel made it seem that half of the audience wasn't there, But apparently only DC movies can do that.
- A student asked a teacher, "What does a pH greater than 7 mean?" The teacher replied, "It's basic chemistry "
- Yo mamma conforms to Planck's law - the greater the frequency with which she screws, the more energetic she gets.
- A man reached the top of the mountain and tells the sage atop it I seek one greater than the meaning of life itself. The sage replies 43.
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Greater One Liners
Which greater one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with greater? I can suggest the ones about larger and older.
- With great power comes Greater difficulty in factorizing the polynomial.
- What do you call music that has a pH greater than 7? Base-boosted.
- What is better than Cheese? A Cheese Greater.
- Why didn't the cheese want to get sliced? Because it had greater plans.
- A goat walks into a bar The bartender says, "eh, I've seen greater."
- My wife told me I'm fantastic at cutting up cheese I told her she's greater
- What cheese is greater than all others? Shredded cheese
- There is a sport greater than Javelin Discus.
- When is 99 greater than a 100? on a microwave
- Free Palestine! With purchase of equal or greater value.
- I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.
- Why do physics professors prefer overweight students? They have greater potential.
- Why are monks so good at protesting? The more ohms you have, the greater the resistance.
- Free Tibet* *with the purchase of another Tibet of equal or greater value
- When is 99 greater than 100? On a microwave oven.
Uproarious Greater Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about greater you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bigger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make greater pranks.
Why is an achievement in Mathematics greater than an achievement in any of the other sciences?
Because for an achievement in math, you receive Abel whereas for science, you receive Nobel.
The Crow Mystery
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
The scientific conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say "Cah", none could say "Truck."
In order to promote progress I think the next session of congress should be sent to the moon.
I just feel that they would make a greater impact.
Surgeon's joke.
There used to be a rule that in order to get into anesthesia, applicants had to have an IQ greater than their body temp. For a while they couldn't get any new anesthesia trainees because nobody would pass.
Then they decided to switch from farenheit to celsius, and now there's a lot of them.
So a Math Major goes in for a job interview...
.... and when he does the man interviewing him asks him to tell him about himself.
The Math Major stuttered and didn't really know how to respond so the man says "tell me about yourself, give me any qualities."
So the Math Major immediately replies "greater than, less than, or equal to."
Why is faith greater than science?
Science made buildings and planes but faith brought them together.
I finally figured out where all my weight is coming from!
My shampoo, which runs down my body as I rinse my hair, advertises greater volume and body. Think I'll start washing my hair with dish washing soap; it says it dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.
I got promoted to the senior supervisor at the cheese factory.
I am now the greater grater grader.
Why did the Economist cross the road?
Because Marginal Benefit (MB) was greater than Marginal Cost (MC)
Two Russians..
..discussed who was the greater man, Comrade Stalin or President Hoover.
Hoover taught the Americans not to drink, says one.
Yes, replies the other, but Stalin taught the Russians not to eat.
I've always wondered, which Russian state position has greater power, between being a PM and a President...
Turns out, it's whichever one the PUTIN currently holds.
I just got offered a new position at work that I need to consider.
I got called into my boss's office for standing around too much at work. He said "please take a seat."
I told him I'll have to think about it. While it gives me a lower profile in the company, I'll have a greater comfort level in what I'm doing.
Conservation of Female Mass and Energy:
Conservation of Female Mass and Energy: for every male action, there is a greater and definite female overreaction.
What's the similarity between s**... and the universe?
Both are great, but greater with midgets.
A husband and wife are talking, and the husband asks:
"You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?" Wife - "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears." Husband - "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" Wife - "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin meet...
ALBERT EINSTEIN:- What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... ... CHARLIE CHAPLIN:- It's true, but your fame is even greater! The world admires you, when nobody understands you!
I gave my blind frend a cheese greater for his birthday
They said it was the most violent thing he has read in a long time
Why did the cuisine chef buy more shares in the restaurant?
He wanted a greater steak in the place..
I'll go home now..
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because she knew she wasn't greater than or less than anyone else.
"Two halves are always the same size", the math teacher said.
"But the greater half of you just won't understand."
Breaking news: Anti-US t**... organizations announce their merger and ceasing of attacks.
They are apparently rebranding as gender reveal party organizers for greater effectiveness.
A man is praying to God and asks "God, how is it you created all this in 7 days?"
God replied, "well, you see time is different for you and me. A million years in human time is only a second in time for me. I created everything in 7 days my time, not yours, so the time frame is much greater than interpreted."
"Oh my God, that is ncredible!" the man exclaimed. "So what, like a penny to you is a million dollars for us?"
"Um, yeah, kinda. Something like that...." God says
"Well, in that case, can I just have a penny, God?" The man shoots his shot
"Sure" God agrees, much to the surprise of the man. "Just gimme a second to find it...."
I imagine doing a massive s**... is a lot like giving birth;
You push and strain really hard, feel happy when it finally comes out, and then there's no greater pleasure then admiring and holding it for the first very first time.
My son kept chewing on electrical cables so I finally had to ground him
Of course he denied the charge first, but later I found him coiled up in his room.
He's conducting himself better now, so I think that worked out.
Well that's the current situation anyways, but there's definitely potential for greater resistance.
Some days I just feel like I don't have the capacity for raising kids.
He can be a real live wire sometimes.
A man goes to ask the great guru, "Which is better, large b**... or small b**...?"
The great guru asks him "How much money do you have in bills in your wallet?"
The man quickly counts the money. "Thirty dollars."
"And if you had thirty dollars in coins," said the guru, "which would have the greater mass- the coins or the bills?"
"The coins of course."
"But which would have the greater value?"
At this moment, the man was enlightened.
Time traveler talks to a mathematician
The time traveler says, "Hello, in my grad school I have learned that it is impossible for any number which is a power greater than the second to be written as the sum of two like powers such as x^n + y^n = z^n for n > 2."
"Show me how you proved it," the mathematician says.
"Indeed! I studied it for my thesis."
The time traveler, then, goes on with his proof.
"Thank you, traveler, I wanted to take notes but right now I only have this book with a tiny margin."
