Great Britain Jokes
49 great britain jokes and hilarious great britain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about great britain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Great Britain Short Jokes
Short great britain jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The great britain humour may include short united kingdom jokes also.
- With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!
- The US should rejoin Great Britain Its not like we mind Taxation without representation anymore.
- Why don't Americans spell color like colour? It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don't need u.
- Great Britains new Prime Minister Did you see that Boris Johnson might be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain? I remember when the U.S. had a BJ in the top office!
- Why they hire idiots in Russian military intelligence? Well, they used to hire smart people, but those would go to Great Britain, capitulate and stay there to live.
- International Contest Great Britain and the USA are having a contest about who can mess up their country the most. Britain is leading, but the USA have a Trump card.
- I think I might move to Great Britain in a few years. I've always wanted to live in a live recreation of 1984.
- In America, great big massive storms are called Hurricanes In India they're called Cyclones
In Japan they're called Typhoons
In Britain they're called Wednesdays - Ultimatum Vladimir Putin gave Great Britain 24 hours to explain the death of Stephen Hawking.
- What's the most common type of owl in Great Britain? Teatowel.
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Great Britain One Liners
Which great britain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with great britain? I can suggest the ones about british empire and british people.
- What's the largest export of Great Britain? Independence days
- How much free space does the EU have since Great Britain left? 1 GB
- Just imagine Great Britain without tea... Grea Briain
- Why dont you ever see penguins in Great Britain? Because theyre scared of Wales
- How much storage frees up when Great Britain leaves the EU? 1 GB
- Have you heard of the giant island of trash in the ocean... Called Great Britain
- You know the thing about Britain? It's Great
- What's the US Navy's biggest and longest serving aircraft carrier? The USS Great Britain.
- Make america great again! Make america Great Britain again
- Great Britain voted Brexit... Europe just freed 1 GB of space
- The largest man of Great Britain has passed away. They now call it Small Britain.
- If h**... had invaded Great Britain he would have failed miserably. He's just o**....
Gather Around for Fun Great Britain Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about great britain you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean only in britain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make great britain pranks.
Beer is good.
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
A big earthquake hits the Middle East...
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured.
Iraq and Iran are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is sending troops to help. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Latin American countries are sending Supplies. New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops. The Asian continents are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the Infrastructure. Canada is sending medical teams And supplies.
GREAT BRITAIN, not to be outdone, Is sending two million replacement Muslims.
Two Muslim beggars
Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars in Great Britain. Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend. Hamid only brings in £ 2 or £ 3 a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes everyday. Ahmed says, Look at your sign.
It says, I have no work, a wife and seven kids to support. Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished anything by giving you money. You will still have no job and a large family. Now look at my sign. So Hamid looks and Ahmed's sign reads: I need only another £10 to move to Pakistan.
So I was at this little pub in Great Britain.....
I notice these two women, both cute but a bit chubby.
I approached the girls and asked "Are you two ladies from Scotland"?, to which the heftier one replied "It's Wales you idiot"!
Taken a bit aback by this, I replied "Oh, sorry. Are you two Whales from Scotland"?
I guess Great Britain is going for its roots...
Separated Kingdoms.
I'll see myself out.
Great Britain announced that they wont partipicate in Eurovision
Because everyone is taking their points
Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016?
Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave.
Have you heard the new album of Christmas Carols by the Deaf Choir Of Great Britain?
No?
Neither have they
People from Great Britain are so noncommittal.
Not surprising for a group that is only Brit-ish.
Q- Do you know how much weight would Great Britain lose if it went through with the Brexit?
A lot of pounds.
Why Americans don't need to feel bad when they are criticized by the British
Sometimes I hear people from Great Britain talk about how bad the education is in The US. I do get a little offended, but then I realize they are just salty because we beat them in The Civil War.
I've heard that the best deals on plastic surgery can be found in Great Britain...
...pound for pound.
I hear the best deals on lipo-suction can be found in Great Britain...
...Pound for pound.
A supposedly true story
One day, in Great Britain, two Muslim schoolgirls were chatting away to each other in a foreign language on a public bus. The man sitting in front of them turned around and said, "This is England. Speak English." The woman in front of him turned around and said, "Actually, this is Wales and they're speaking Welsh."
Around 1900, in a school in Austria
The 11-12 year olds were quizzed on European capitals. Teacher asks boy:
What is the capital of Germany? "Berlin!"
What is the capital of France? "Berlin!"
What is the capital of Great Britain? "Berlin!"
Teacher: No son, you failed and were wrong on 2 out of the 3, what was your name again?
"Adolph!"
So Putin decides to change Russia's Identity
He calls the Queen of Great Britain for advice.
Putin - "Queen Elizabeth, I'd like to have Russia be a Kingdom. I feel it would give it the gravitas it deserves"
The Queen - "But Vladimir, you need to have a king to be a Kingdom"
Putin - "Well what about a Principality then?"
The Queen - "No Vladimir, you need a prince to have a Principality"
Putin - "Then I'm at a loss, what should Russia be"
The Queen - "I think you are quite suited to be a Country, wouldn't you agree"