Grease Jokes
59 grease jokes and hilarious grease puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grease that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a laugh? Grab some Tostitos and check out these hilarious Grease jokes about the classic movie! From Grease Lightning to Sandy and Oily to Grease Monkey and Grease Trap, we have calorie-free gags to brighten up any day.
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Funniest Grease Short Jokes
Short grease jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grease humour may include short greasy jokes also.
- I went to the library today and asked where I could find books on greases, oils and lubricants. The librarian suggested I try the non-friction section.
- I have a confession. Lately I've been greasing up all the wheelchair ramps around town. I've tried so hard to stop, but once you start it's a really slippery slope...
- Since my girlfriend started working at the grease factory.... It's been really hard trying to get hold of her.
- Famous Last Words List your favorite ones. The one I liked the most when I was growing up:
Tarzan: "Who greased the vine?" - A 90 year old just told this: What happens when you drop the turkey out of the oven? It's the downfall of Turkey and the overflow of grease.
- How is working at McDonald's like being an archaeologist in Athens? Either way, you end up smelling like ancient grease.
- How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle? You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.
- How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine harvester? Just one, but you squeeze them through really slowly.
- About a month before his death my uncle asked us to cover him in grease He went downhill quite quickly after that.
- I didn't quite get my girlfriend's complaints about my passion for Grease songs... So I asked her to tell me more, tell me more.
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Grease One Liners
Which grease one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grease? I can suggest the ones about margarine and motor oil.
- What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years? Ancient grease
- What's the best way to grease a Ferrari? Run over an Italian.
- People in Athens have a hard time waking up early Because dawn is tough on grease
- I saw an oil stain that was 1000 years old It was ancient grease.
- Where were the first French fries made? ...in grease
- What's green and covered in bacon grease? Kermit's finger
- Fries weren't made in France They were made in grease
- What do you call a "Grilled Cheese" after a few days in the fridge? Chilled Grease
- Where were the first doughnuts made? In grease!
- French Fries aren't made in France They're made in Grease
- Many people think the Romans invented Vaseline That was ancient grease
- Where do French fries originally come from? Grease
- Why did Aristotle hate French fries? They were fried in ancient grease!
- Why does Athens hate the morning? Because dawn is tough on grease!
- How did John Travolta end up in the hospital.? He slipped in Grease.
Grease Movie Jokes
Here is a list of funny grease movie jokes and even better grease movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's bacon's favorite movie? Grease
Grease Lightning Jokes
Here is a list of funny grease lightning jokes and even better grease lightning puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Barry Allen had a restaurant what would it be called? Greased lightning?
- I've always wanted to have s**... with Barry Allen... ...it gives a new meaning to "greased lightning."
Amusing Grease Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about grease you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gasoline jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grease pranks.
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking
To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues drinking.
Importance of Planning
Why planning is important?
One night four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See below for the question paper.
Q.1. Your Name…….. ………
(2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tyre burst?
(98 MARKS)
a) Front left
b) Front right
c) Back left
d) Back right
A father says to his blonde, teenage daughter one day "honey I thought I asked you to wash the car like 10 times today"...
She replies "I swear I was going to, but I called a hundred different places and nobody has this Elbow Grease that you told me to use !!"
Geogrophy
If Iraq invaded Turkey from the rear, do you think Grease would help?
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
Grease her hips, and throw in a t**....
How many farmers does it take to grease a combine?
...only two, if you feed them in real slow.
I have a dishwashing liquid that attacks grease.
Mostly the uninspired cinematography and John Travolta's singing.
Why are they called French fries?
If they are obviously made in grease.
My girlfriend just started working at a grease factory ...
It's so hard to get ahold of her now.
The people on early Mediterranean cities used to enjoy using olive oil as "personal lubricant."
They really loved ancient grease.
I just watched a broke, fat dude lick pizza grease from his shirt for 10 minutes straight.
I need to stop eating in front of the mirror.
Europe is like a fridge
You have the freezing cold part at the top
Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection
Then down the bottom corner, there's just turkey and grease
A fire breaks out in the kitchen.
The man rushes over to the emergency station and comes back with a large red tube. He points it at the fire and squeezes the lever. The tube says, that's a grease fire! The man looks closer at what he's carrying. d**..., he says, I accidentally bought a fire distinguisher!
Dont see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too though.
My Daughters Dad Joke this morning
Ran through a drive up this morning before school.
As we are pulling away from the window, she looks in the bag.
Dad you should see this! It's beautiful, the hashbrowns are stacked side by side, the sandwiches are perfectly wrapped, and the napkins are placed so they won't get oily...I am not sure who did this, but they should be awarded the Nobel Grease Prize.
She looked at me with a sly smile and I told her...I saw what you did there. We both laughed.
A great dad joke from a 10 yr old.
Me to my therapist: I have a fear of the Grease soundtrack
Therapist: Tell me more, tell me more.
Me: Aaaaaaaahh-
Therapist: Keep talking, boy keep talking!
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH-
How is working at McDonald's like being an archaeologist in Athens?
You end up smelling like ancient grease.
Me to my therapist: Help, I have a crippling fear of the Grease soundtrack!
Therapist: Tell me more, tell me more.
Me: Aaaaaaaaaaa-
Therapist: Keep talking, whoa keep talking!
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Never literally taking cooking instructions…
After my first attempt to make a cake, the fireman told me that when it says to grease the bottom of the pan, they meant to say the inside of the pan . . .