The Best 67 Grea Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Grea jokes. There are some grea wate jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these grea microwave puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Grea Jokes and Puns

I came up with a great joke about a boomerang but I forgot it.

I'm sure it'll come back to me.

Great news for insomniacs...

Only three more sleeps until Christmas!

Great news that anti-virus mogul turned fugitive John McAfee has finally been captured.

They estimate the trial could last 30 days.

Grea joke, Great news that anti-virus mogul turned fugitive John McAfee has finally been captured.

What is the greatest dilemma for a Jewish mother?

She finds out her son is gay, but is dating a doctor.

Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for the day.

Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend.


What was so great about being a black jew?

They already thought you were burnt

The Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Grea joke, The Great Writer

What's the best way to grease a Ferrari?

Run over an Italian.

my great grandmother got me a ps4 for christmas

my so-so grandmother got me socks

I had this great joke about Thor...

but thinking about it now, it's actually really low key.

Here's a great life hack!

When you're cold stand in a corner. It's 90 degrees!

You can explore grea leav reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean grea people dad jokes. There are also grea puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...

Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.

Do you know who Russia's 3 greatest generals are?

December, January, and February.

What's a 6.9?

A great thing ruined by a period.

Great pickup line...

You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress?

Her: Yes.

You: Wanna Traumatize it?

Greatest situational joke I've ever told...

A girl I know was talking about how her white mum was an Indian chef, which my other friend couldn't quite grasp and said "How can your mum be an Indian chef if she's not Indian?"

I replied "You can be a pizza chef and not be a pizza".

Had a couple people in tears saying that so I thought I'd share it, might have been a 'you-had-to-be-there' moment.

My great-grandmother lived to be 106 and never needed glasses.

She always just drank straight from the bottle.

I'm great at signalling for help on a sinking ship..

Just got a flare for it.

Just imagine Great Britain without tea...

Grea Briain


Do you know why there are so many great bakeries in Germany?

They had to do *something* with all of the ovens.

What is the Great Gatsby's favorite superhero?

Green Lantern.
His least favorite?
Deadpool.

Great wine is like great jazz...

It confuses me and I'm pretty sure it's all the same.

What's a pirate's greatest fear on the first date?

A sunken chest with no booty.

A great pun...

is its own reword.

What's great when you're at work, and terrible when you're in bed?

Getting off early

Great Mystery

Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"

Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"

Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".

Great minds think alike...

That's why we have so many opinions in America

A great joke that only air conditioners will get!

On second thought, I'm not gonna say it. I can already tell you're not a fan.

With great power comes

Greater difficulty in factorizing the polynomial.

I'll have you know I'm in a great financial situation.

Even my credit card company says my balance is outstanding!

With great power comes great...

electricity bills

The great thing about the Alzheimers museum is...

No matter how many times you go, it always seems new.

My first name is Greatest, last name Ever

Middle name "Mistake"

There used to be great empires, ruled by Emperors, then there were Kingdoms ruled by Kings...

Now all we have is a bunch of countries....

"Great job!" said one Roman soldier to the other. "You really nailed that one!"

But Jesus was not impressed.

There was once a great Mexican Magician...

There was once a great Mexican Magician. He was world-renowned for his incredible feats. His most famous act, though, was his vanishing act. He would count;
uno
dos
and suddenly he would disappear without a tres.

The Great Wall Of China Is Famous

Because it's the only Chinese product that lasted this long.

With great reflexes...

Comes great response ability.

The greatest sci-fi show of all time

If I were being subjective, I'd say that the greatest SCI-FI show of all time was Doctor Who...

 

But, if I were being objective, I'd have to say it was **Doctor Whom.**

What is great in the US but awful in the UK?

Losing pounds

My great-grandfather started up an underground distillery during Prohibition

It was a whiskey business

Jesus's greatest miracle..

A dude in his thirties with 12 friends

My great grandma started giggling at a family BBQ and when I asked what's funny she said...

Everyone here is alive because I got laid .

I don't have a great relationship with my doctor.

In fact, I feel sick every time I see her.

My great grandfather got to see the Titanic

He told everyone it would sink, no one believed him. He said it again, they shut him up. For the last time, he warned everyone that it would sink. They have had enough and he got kicked out of the movie theatre.

It's a great time to date a Rams fan..

They are used to disappointment and aren't expecting a ring.

The Great German Dream.

We were talking about the American dream in class and the teacher said to a German boy if he had a German dream. He said, "We did but no-one liked it."

Marvel's greatest villain is Thanos. DC's greatest villain

is Rotten Tomatoes.

The Greatest Sex Culture . . .

A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.

Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."

The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."

The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."

6.9

Great sex interrupted by a period

Great Easter joke I heard today

**Wife:** "What are your plans for Easter?"

**Husband**: "Same as Jesus."

**Wife**: "What do you mean?"

**Husband**: "I will disappear on Friday and and reappear on Monday."

**Wife**: "AWESOME, if you do that I'll do the same as Mary."

**Husband**: "What do you mean?"

**Wife**: "Show up pregnant, untouched by my husband"



Husband stayed home all Easter.

I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.

Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it.

My great grandfather once destroyed 18 WW2 German aircrafts in one day.

He was the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

When my Great Grandfather died they cremated his body but kept his toupee.

It is considered a family hairloom.

With great flourish, the Mexican magician exclaimed, "On the count of three, I shall make myself disappear!"

"Uno!!!"



"Dos!!!"



...and then he vanished, without a tres.

My great grandfather sunk 5 U-boats in ww2

Easily the worst captain the kriegsmarine had

There are two great financial geniuses in the Bible

One was Noah, who floated his stock while everyone else had to go into liquidation.

The other one was pharaoh's daughter, who went to the bank of the Nile and drew out a prophet.

My great grandfather, grandfather, and father were born without legs.

I guess it runs in the- wait a minute

what would you say is your greatest strength

i have strong hindsight

that wont help us much

i see that now

My greatest skill is humor...

Sometimes people even tell me I smell funny.

I came up with a great science joke, but the scientists didn't take it seriously enough to laugh at.

They told me it hadn't been peer reviewed.

Any great and funny jokes like this one for my 8 year old granddaughter?

She loves this one:

A guy is sitting in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up and opens the door, no one there. Looks down and sees a snail on the doormat. Being a guy, of course he picks it up and throws it across the street.
Six months later, the guy is in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up, opens the door, no one there. He looks down and it's that snail. Snail looks up and yells "what the heck was that about?!!!".

Great news! My son was born a few days ago!

I've been waiting for the dad jokes to kick in but I guess I still have to wait a bit.
In other news, the mail man on my street quit his job and became a comedian.

It was going great with my girlfriend until she started putting her Sylvester Stallone dolls in the middle of the bed.

Things have been a little Rocky between us ever since.

I have some great stock tips..

Always keep the simmer low and slow. Save up the odds and ends from veggies. If you're using chicken, skim the fat/floaty bits off to get a clear liquid etc.


If you keep doing this, you end up a bouillonaire.

My great grandfather told me a joke from his time in WW2

A German man, a Japanese man and an Italian man walk into a BAR.

Great news! The U.S. is now 61.7% fully vaccinated ...

... and 28.4% fully dewormed.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the grea coul jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working grea cou piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes