Gray Jokes
84 gray jokes and hilarious gray puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gray that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh until you’re gray in the face with hilarious Gray Jokes! Got ‘em all from Ugly Dave Gray, the Gray Wolf, a Gray Hair Birthday, a Gray Beard, a Gray Report, the Gray Matter, and the Gray Sweatpants! Plus Blue, Bambi, and the Colourblind too!
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Funniest Gray Short Jokes
Short gray jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gray humour may include short grey jokes also.
- It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles.. At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.
- I bought a shirt and some neckwear from Ebay that used to belong to the guy from the Mamas & the Papas All the sleeves are brown and the tie is gray
- When my kindle reads Fifty Shades of Gray to me It's like getting an obscene phone call from Stephen Hawking
- A man is driving across town with his dog. He sees a traffic light and begins to stop.
The dog says, "Why are you slowing down, the light's gray?" - Got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for moving the "Caution Wet Floor" sign to the Fifty Shades of Gray aisle.
- A woman is looking at herself in the mirror "Ugh I look so old! My skin is sagging, my hair is turning gray, I've got crows feet..."
Her husband says, "well, at least your eyesight is intact." - [OC] Grandad was a Flash cosplayer back in his days Cause I have found some of his gray uniforms from the 1940's with thunder signs on it.
- I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college.
- Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ... ... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into.
- When my wife said she'd be with me until I was old and gray I did not realize she meant 37
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Gray One Liners
Which gray one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gray? I can suggest the ones about green and grey hair.
- What's the difference between grey and gray? One is a color, and the other is a colour.
- I love spoiling the plot of The Picture of Dorian Gray Never gets old
- The day I found my first gray hairs... I thought I'd dye!
- Found my old copy of Picture of Dorian Gray in the attic It has not aged well.
- What weighs more, black or gray? Black does. Gray is a little lighter.
- What's large, gray, wrinkly, and not important? An irrelephant.
- What is gray, has four legs and a trunk? A mouse going on vacation.
- Obama portrait joke You’ll note that he refused to hide any of my gray hairs
- Roses are gray Violets are gray
I'm color blind
And not very good at poetry - I told Dorian Gray that I'd fixed his painting while he was out… The look on his face....
- Apple put an end to the black market.. With that *Space Gray market*
- What's gray, and if it gets in your eye, you'll probably die? The Empire State Building
- What's gray, disappointing, and in the shape of an oval?
- Where does Dorian Gray get his clothes? Forever 21.
- What's small, gray, and came in little cans? Michael Jackson.
Gray Matter Jokes
Here is a list of funny gray matter jokes and even better gray matter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is large, gray, and doesn't matter? An irrelevant
- Do brain cells really even matter? I don't know, it's a gray area for me
Cheeky Gray Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about gray you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean silver jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gray pranks.
Seniors!
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Acceptance in Rainbowland has come at a high cost.
Sarah recently came out to her parents as gray.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a h**...?
A gray and red hairy paste.
The police vs the senior citizen
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp...h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am quite old, so I wasn't shocked today during a
thorough inspection to find that I had a gray p**...
hair.
The other people on the elevator seemed pretty surprised, though.
What did gay Picard say when he was spying on his neighbour?
Earl Gray, hot!
Johnny learns the word definitely
The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"
The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence?
Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue."
"That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."
Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."
The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"
Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A banker dies and his wife is making his f**... arrangements.
The f**... director notices that the husband died at work and came to him in a nicely pressed, gray suit. "Well," he said to the wife, "why don't we just keep him dressed like this, since he looks so nice?"
"No way," she replied, "He looked better in blue. I've been trying for years to get him to wear a blue suit, so now I can finally have my wish. I don't care what it costs, just find a blue suit for him and put it on the bill."
So, the service comes and goes and the banker looked great in a crisp, blue suit. As the widow is looking over the f**... bill, she notices that the cost of the suit isn't listed anywhere. "Excuse me, but you didn't include the cost of the suit," she tells him.
"Oh, don't worry about it," he replied.
"No, sir, I'm an honest woman and I pay my debts. How much do I owe you?"
"The truth is," he replied, "the same day your husband was brought in, a broker came in wearing a blue suit-"
"*You switched their suits??*" The widow interrupted, disgusted.
"No, no, of course not...we just switched their heads."
The senior citizen and the Corvette.
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Tribal Wisdom
So a cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself "Wagon...two gray horses...two passengers, man and woman...man driving" The cowboy goes "Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?" The Indian replies "No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over."
50 Shades of Gray
I'm not really interested in watching that film. In order to make me see it, someone would literally have to tie me up and drag me there.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife says we should spice up our s**... life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Gray.
First, she wants me to become a billionaire.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
50 Shades
He slowly but firmly grabs my t**.... I try to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble...'
- of Macy Gray.
Someone told this at a Disney campground.
What's large, gray, and comes in quarts?
An Elephant.
A man is asked why he can't see the Fifty Shades of Gray movie...
He replies, "I'm color blind and can only see 36 of them."
Man goes into a hardware store...
Says to the shopkeeper, "Can I have a roll of masking tape and some zip ties"
Shopkeeper smiles knowingly, "I'm sorry, thanks to the 50 Shades of Gray film we're out of stock"
The man winces and replies, "OK, just give me a chainsaw and some bin bags"
ACT FAST!! Huge discounts at all stores in Baltimore.
use promo code "Freddie Gray" at checkout.
sorry guys, but the discounts are in-store only.
What did the White crayon say to the Black crayon?
We make a GRAY team!
The color black is out drinking with his friends.
Black says to the bartender, "Hey, something isn't right. Where is all the color white?"
Bartender says, "dude, this is a gray bar.
Do you think you'll get fake teeth when you're old and gray?
Might as well. Nothing dentured, nothing gained.
What's gray and comes in quarts?
According to my mom, my new stepdad
There isn't a gray area pertaining to treatment of prisoners
It's mainly many shades of brown
You hear about that film parody of 50 Shades of Gray starring Ellen Degeneres that played like a literary classic?
It's called Dory 'N Gray.
What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common?
They are both gray except for the giraffe.
TIL that if someone's face is looking gray, you can fix it by giving them tea
Then they'll be great.
Any help in making a gray t-shirt out of steel wool?
Sorry, wrong thread.
I turned on the TV, and it was static
My wife asked me, "what's that noise?" I said "fifty shades of gray"
Why is an elephant large, gray, and wrinkled?
Because if it was small, white, and smooth, it would be an aspirin.
The presidents of the United States by eye color: Blue eye - 26 presidents. Gray eyes-6 presidents. Brown eyes-4 presidents. Hazel eyes-2 presidents.
And 1 black eye.
Whats gray and found between grandpa's legs?
Grandma on his birthday.
Trump is really good about his ears.
He wears ear plugs at loud concerts.
He makes sure his ear wax doesn't build up.
He keeps the gray hairs growing out of his ears nice and trimmed.
He's quite possibly the most ear responsible president we've ever had.
Television was never really black and white before color
It was basically just 50 shades of gray
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My best friend invited me to join a t**...
I've never been one for Male, Male, female threesomes because it's basically gray s**... with a witness. However, my best friend who has been my best friend all my life, told me he had this smokin' h**... coming over who wanted another guy. Being my best friend I felt like I couldn't say no. I show up and we're going at it for well over 40 minutes. I look at my friend and say, "Dude, we've been going for a long time. I dont know how much longer I can go. When's the babe showing up?"
[Cr
What's big, gray, and can't float?
A castle
*Trigger Warning* What do you call a rainbow in a gray sky?
Gay in Gray
A teacher is trying to instruct her class on the meaning of the word "definitely".
"Can anyone give man an example?" She asks.
Suzie raises her "the grass is definitely green."
"Sometimes the grass can be brown," the teacher answers. "Anyone else?"
"The sky is definitely blue." Says Timmy.
"The sky can by gray if it's cloudy, or black at night." Says the teacher.
In the back of the class little Johnny raises is hand and asks, "do farts have lumps?"
Caught of guard the teacher says "No, of course not!"
Johnny replies, "Then I definitely pooped my pants."
Gray Hair
A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning gray?
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs gray!
The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only gray hairs on her head.
My wife said she found my first gray hair, but I didn't believe her for the longest time. Then when I was brushing my teeth this morning I saw it in the mirror, on the left side of my mustache.
It was right under my nose this whole time.
My wife made up this joke in a dream and woke herself up laughing...
Q: How do you tell the difference between a Golder Retriever and a Dalmatian?
A: You get down on the floor and spin them around real fast. One of them is yellow and the other one is gray.
There's a gray line between getting a metaphor right or wrong
And in the fine area there's a punch line
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wifes eye site
A older man comes home from work,and he finds his wife standing in front of the mirror crying. He walks over and asks what's the matter hunny? THE WIFE SAYS. Can you find anything good about me. Look at me my hairs gray, my b**... is sagging, my boots are hanging down.. Is there anything left that's good about me.
The husband looks her up and down , and then he reply. WELL YOUR EYE SITE IS GOOD.
